Let me be dramatic

I feel like I am losing myself or is this the way back? I am not sure.

My dreams have been so real and I can tell my brain is processing and crunching memories, fears, loves, and losses. Crunching, crunching, crunching.

I wake up in a stupor because my mind has used all its energy in the night.

The first cup of coffee is a miracle. I imagine I am a fish as I breathe it in through my gills, desperate for air.

I settle in to feed on the information that runs me ragged. News stories, doom at every turn, sadness and despair, punctuated with fight and litigation.

Everyone is having a hard time. I am not unique. We are all in this particular hell together.

I can't express myself, so I eat bread and cereal. I don't feel hungry but I keep eating. I feel myself expanding even though what I really want is to disappear from this timeline.

I will perform these behaviours until the inward anger rises and the discomfort snaps me into a grand correction. Then I will be like jesus and get my shit together.

A return to my better ways of living. 

A rebellion curtailed until the next time.

She tries hard not to talk like us

Here's a song to listen to while you collect the matches. X

And if you need to retrace your steps.

Hungry ghosts

Parry the Wind High, Low

She is an imaginary girl

This girl from Arkansas was influenced by David Lynch

Dear Readers, Art Lovers, and Friends,

It was fitting that the soundtrack to last week's post was "Dark Night of the Soul" featuring David Lynch.

I was so shocked to hear of his death that I actually gasped out loud when I read the news in a message from my brother Sean. I wrote a few friends in particular who I knew would be upset and then I shed a few tears myself. I started watching old clips and reliving memories that revolved around David Lynch's work and art.

Like many others, I took to the internet to share my feelings:

"I'm so sad about this loss. David Lynch gave us so much vision and new ways to see. He offered up validation and permission. Meditations on darkness and love. Twin Peaks beaming into the house when I was in high school was as important to me as witnessing the dawn of MTV when I was child. Style, colour, art, mystery - everything was suddenly available to me. I could understand my own sensibilities and appreciate them even in Arkansas."

Looking back, I realise how much he had influenced me in the 80s and 90s and how he continues to influence me today. How often I quote his work. He was and will forever remain a true artist and an original. We are so lucky for all he gave us. 

Thank you, David Lynch for sharing your vision.

Two Sad Clouds, mixed media on paper, Megan Chapman, 2024

Temptation, mixed media on paper, Megan Chapman, 2024

How can we best show up in this crushing world with our own singular visions? How can we support each other and ourselves in our purest most expansive forms? How can we bring more delight, humour, wonder, and understanding into this world?

Let's catch some ideas.

Wintering

Here's some music to take on the journey. 

I kept all your letters

Sometimes I wonder if I should have a separate place to write things that aren't about art. I wonder if that would make it easier to always write "on time." But then if I was writing somewhere else there would be no exact time to do it and there would be nothing here on "Friday."

So here I am, not exactly wanting to write about art. There are two things I sort of want to write about. The first is that I picked through someone's flat moving remnants outside their building. They were kind enough to take a photo and share it online - a community offering before it would be taken to a charity shop. I picked up 2 bags of castoffs. I took photos of my haul and shared it with friends and family. I tallied up its retail value. I commented that it was obviously the possessions of a much younger woman but with the taste of my inner child. I even took a stack of her hot pink and yellow coloured paperbacks - 8 of them in the pile. And this is maybe where it ventures into art. The concept around methodically reading another person's books, void of choice - like a street assigned reading list.

I get a bit excited by limitations.

I get overwhelmed by all the choices at the grocery store or in shops. But, I love the treasures left on the street or in the racks of the charity shop. I love the fated aspect of it. I usually find exactly what I need and when I need it. I needed a boost and I got a second Christmas from her leaving offerings, complete with mustard yellow low top Converse All Stars exactly in my size. She wrote on the toes of both shoes, "life's too short to waste" in black pen. 

I noticed the faded mantra the next day. 

I feel like I have wasted my fair share of life but I also feel we are probably meant to or maybe there is no way to actually waste it. I hope that's the case. However it all works out, I was glad to receive her message.

So I am reading her books and living with her things and wishing her well on her move. 

The second thing I sort of wanted to write about was some local genealogy research I have been doing but I can't write about it poetically. Genealogy is mostly frustrating, with flashes of magic here and there - stories and family ghosts pulling me along into a puzzle of history and dumb luck. An hour becomes a whole day and I can't look away. It all points back to the tip of my new shoes. Am I wasting my life? Surely not.

I like to think the ancient family knows I am looking for them and that they are glad I am here. They are as curious about me as I am of them. 

They whisper, there is art in all of this.

2024: Year in Review

Hello Dear Readers, 

Well, here we are again, my annual year in review post. I am already struggling to sit still and focus (it has taken me 2 days to finally get it done). This is an important post for me to write so I can actually see and feel what I did. As I always say, this post is more for me than for you so if you reach the end, then gold star all the way! I feel like this year's post may be quite a bit shorter than some. My relationship with my art has changed so much post pandemic. Like many of you, I feel like I have been navigating a lot of complex experiences and many of the things that used to push or motivate me ring a bit more hollow or just don't work like they used to. So much in my life has changed in these last few years and the way I navigate it is changing too. So let's begin.

Job: I am the Rep Coordinator & Caseworker for the Scottish Artist Union. I completed the SAU Rep Training Program Obair 1, 2, and 3 in 2022 and 2023, concluding with the Rep Residential in Crail in March of this year. I have been working as a Rep with the Union since June 2023 and in June 2024, I became a member of staff in my current role. 

It's an honour to help our members navigate the challenges that we all face across Scotland's visual and applied arts sector. I feel so fortunate to do work that is important, meaningful, and within my field, as part of a trade union. I also feel lucky to work alongside my union peers in the rep team, staff and learning teams, and our volunteer executive. We are a small team, working part time and mostly remotely while pursuing our own art practices and other projects. If you are a Scottish artist and haven't yet joined the SAU, please consider joining your union and getting involved! We are stronger together!

SAU and Related Learning Programmes/Events Attended: 

Negotiation Training: Francis Shennan and Joshua Becker

Structurally F–cked: Juliet Jacques in conversation with Industria

When what you get is not enough: SAU’s Political Education Pilot Event 

Funding for Artists Open Meeting: Applied Arts Scotland, Engage Scotland, Scottish Artists Union and SCAN

Introduction to The Inklusion Guide: A kickass guide to making literature events accessible to disabled people: Julie Farrell 

Cyber Security Knowledge Refresher: Craig Steele, Digital Skills Education

Improving Effective Voice, Equality, Fair Work and Health and Safety Rep Course with Scottish Hazards & STUC (the first 2 parts of a 4 part course)

Basic Income for the Arts in Ireland: What have we learned after 20 months: UBI LAB & BASIC Income Ireland

SAU EGM

SAU AGM

Associated Union Actions: 

Mass Vigil for Justice for Sheku Bayoh: STUC: Festival Square Edinburgh

Stop the Culture Cuts Demo: Equity: Scottish Parliament. 

Art Work: I created a huge overarching body of 307 pieces of work on paper consisting of multiple series from my home studio space. I just looked through them all after another long period of inactivity. I am gobsmacked. You have only seen a fraction of these small works. As they are mostly on very delicate paper I am not always sure how to present them. I can't wait for you to see some of these pieces. They really seem suited for a book or reproductions. This right here is why I write this blog for me. I have been feeling like I have not really given my painting enough of my time and energy this past year. I stand corrected. I feel these are some of the strongest and most personal works I have created in a long while. They are small and they are on paper and many of them feature drawing, writing, and mark making as much as painting and they were all created in my home. Oh, the brain plays tricks. 

What I haven't been doing is making them all shiny, presentable, and for sale. I haven't been updating my social media accounts regularly with them either. This year has been about making art for art's sake, the way it was intended. I was able to do this by being supported through my work with the union, a few art sales, my ko-fi patrons, and through other means.

Art Sales: I sold 5 originals to 3 patrons (4 originals on paper and 1 large original canvas). Thank you, Malcolm in Scotland and Jeanne and Jennifer in the United States for supporting my work at the start of the year. I appreciate you more than you can know. 

Gallery Representation: For the first time in 20 years, I am not represented by any galleries. I was represented by Solo Gallery in Innerleithen until July of this year but sadly, Kate decided to close up shop. Another loss for the Scottish Art Community, and especially for the Scottish Borders. Best wishes to Kate - a proper gallerist and a joy to work with.

Art Rental: Well, this is some news that I haven't yet shared, so you are hearing it here first and I have buried the lede. One of my large abstract paintings will be appearing in a film! My painting "In the time it takes" will be in California Schemin' - James McAvoy's directorial debut. I am looking forward to seeing the film and we will hopefully be able to catch a glimpse of my painting. Now, I can say my work has been used in television and film!

Art Licensing: I happily accepted a contract with Image Conscious, one of the largest wholesale art suppliers worldwide, they sell exclusively to retailers, art consultants, interior designers, frame and poster shops, speciality shops, and wholesale framers. In business since 1980, their collection is comprised of some of the world’s finest contemporary artists and photographers. You can read all about that here. If you enjoy my Echoes and Memory series, which is still one of my favourites, and you are looking for quality Megan Chapman prints for an office, restaurant, or any interior- then this is a great option. They even offer framing. If you buy the reproductions through Printano - they offer worldwide shipping and you can purchase in your own currency. 

Art Exhibitions: I participated in 1 group exhibition at the Out of the Blue Drill Hall to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the space. I also marked an anniversary this year -  I have now lived in Scotland for 10 years and I have had my studio at the Drill Hall for 10 years too!

Studio: There were no formal open studios this year at the Drill Hall. I found this very unfortunate, as that is one my favourite parts of having a studio. I miss being able to connect with the public. Regular open studios are also one of the most lucrative ways for artists to make money.

Unfortunately the rent was raised for the studio in December. Currently, I am able to keep my studio due to sharing the space with 2 subletters and the fact that I have 5 regular patrons who graciously support me monthly to offset some of these overhead costs. I know many artists across Scotland are facing this same dilemma currently. Do we stay or do we go? You can read a popular post I wrote about this issue, here.

Home Studio: Thanks to my pal and supporter Annie Milovic for helping me walk home an easel from my studio at the Drill Hall, as well as grab another piece of found furniture off the street and into my flat so that I could create a new home studio space this past year! These 307 !?! pieces would not exist without her kind offer of assistance and a friendly nudge back in January. 

Kofi Patrons: Currently, 5 amazing women regularly support my work and help me to offset my art business overheads. Thankfully, each month I am supported by Jennifer Libby Fay, Tamsin Haggis, Jennifer Douglas Arbuckle, and Annie Milovic and posthumously by Pat Bremner. Thank you all so much. Thank you also to my three one-off supporters this year, Ash, Kev, and Paul. Consider becoming a regular supporter or just leave me a tip. It all adds up and really makes a difference! 

Speaking of supporters, my dear friend and great patron, John Kay died earlier this year. I couldn't bring myself to talk or write about it as it seemed so sudden, shocking, and awful at the time, and honestly it still is. John supported my work, my spirit, and was always good for a laugh, musical comradery, and a funny Billy Idol meme. His passing threw me for a loop in the spring that took me awhile to come out of. I will endeavour to stay free, my friend, but it's a bit harder and less fun without you here. Sending love to all his friends and family who may happen across this post - and especially to his dearest daughter, Kirsty. 

Friday Studio Blog: I posted 52 weekly blogs. Thank you for checking in here. At first the posts were mostly selections from my works on paper and then we started to pick up speed towards the end of the year and the words came pouring out. I am proud of some of my writing this past year. 

Tuesday Studio Video Visit: Oops! I recorded none! Do I bring these back in 2025 from my new home studio space? Hmm.

Archive: I did manage to update and add some more pieces to my Archive. I will continue to work on this and let you know when it is in tip top shape. There is just so much work - we can see why...

Artist's work I collected/supported: Jenni Douglas, Fiona Thompson and Chris Donnelly of Cyan Clayworks, Victoria Ross, Ailsa Ferrier of Roadside Picnic, Kenris MacLeod, Crail Pottery, Vanessa Bullick, Adelaide Shalhope Exhibition Catalogue from Iota, Adrian Slatcher & Steven Heaton, Maria Bowler, Paul Furneaux, Louise McLaren, SNACK mag Fundraiser, Neuk Collective Fundraiser, Subatlantic, Interpol and Armistead Maupin (3rd time to see him since moving here). Thank you for all of your work. I love living with and experiencing your creations. 

Travel:

Crail, Fife - SAU Rep Residential (gorgeous and wild - I love Fife)

Innerleithen, Scottish Borders (best vegan haggis pie, among other things)
Glasgow (on 3 separate but equally wonderful occasions. I love you, Glasgow)
USA (Unbelievably warm - a gorgeous autumn - good luck and godspeed- y'all come visit)

Besides working on my art and my union work, I made time to read a few books, watch films, see Interpol (2 years in a row and for the 8th time!), listen to loads of music (on repeat), walk in nature, meditate, study a bit of Japanese, and enjoyed some local culture with my friends. And I finally made it back to Arkansas (as mentioned above) to spend some quality time with my parents and see a few friends for 3 weeks this autumn.

Note to self: Megan, my dear... You are enough. You do enough. You live enough. You create enough. You are good enough. I am also super proud that you took care of your teeth, had your hearing tested, had your eyes checked and got new glasses, and you took part in that fitness study. You faced fears, you learned, you grew, you grieved, you experienced really dark days as well as unabashed joy and wonder. You maintained and fostered relationships. You said no and you advocated for yourself and others. Thanks for being good to yourself.

__________________

As I did last year, I dedicate this post to my dear friends and patrons who are no longer with us. I have been fortunate to have been seen, understood, and supported by some amazing people and that is a gift that sustains me. Thank you. I will keep fighting and I will stay free.

Love always to my family of charcoal dust near and far and thank you to everyone who has supported my work as an artist and as a person. I couldn't do this without you and I wouldn't want to. 

Keep fighting.