|dispatches on a hopeful Friday night|
It's Friday and I am here and I hope you are here too! I gave my notice at my job this week so next Thursday will be my last day. It is for the best. It makes sense and it is a good thing. If anything, having this part time job reminded me how important my full time art career is to me and how I must never take it for granted or let the precious time slip away from me. I don't want to work in an office. I can work in an office and I can even do well at it but I really don't want to spend my life that way. I am not so good at balance and I wasn't able to work on my art the way I wanted to while I worked in the office. I thought I might be able to and I tried a little at the start but it just wasn't meant to be.
I leave to go to Scotland in 6 weeks and I have a lot I need to do before then and I have a lot of research and things I need to prepare for my trip and there was just no way for me to do that the way I wanted and keep working in the office.
I am an artist. I have dreams and ideas and these things have to be expressed and when they are not it builds up in my heart and soul and creates a very uncomfortable situation. To be an artist is more important than money or success it is a need like breathing and like the beating of my heart. This is serious business and I can't ignore it or pretend it can ever be compartmentalized or made to fit societies rules and regulations.
So, that is that and I feel a sense of relief. Now, I just need to start expressing what I want to create. I have stories and ideas in my mind but I can't quite put them into words yet. I think there might be a small series of works in me... a prototype of memory series perhaps... and I need to finish that body of work I started in October... so much to do. Mostly I want to dream and write and think about the exciting things that are all around us and explore how I fit in to it all and how my work does as well.
Until next week, keep fighting. Get mad if you have to, just get it done. If you try, I will try too.