The week I learned to breathe again

The week I learned to breathe again
photo © 2014 Megan Chapman

I am finding it hard to come up with eloquent words for "things aren't going too well." I am known for my "dream it, do it" cheer leading and mentoring style of "keep fighting" and "onwards and upwards" etc etc... but I am all out of that currently.

However, even in the worst of times, I will stand by Art. I will stand behind my art and my ability to create relationships around it. I will stand by my ability to encourage others to sell their brilliant work. I will stand by this profession. I will know that art has given me a rich and varied life filled with discovery, self empowerment and understanding. I will know art has given me my mental health as much or more than it has destroyed it.

Studying art at the University of Oregon was the greatest gift I could have ever given myself, it was the true beginning of my independence. Art taught me how to think and see and how to discuss things critically without being cruel. Art taught me how to learn about different viewpoints and styles. Art taught me how to create on a deadline, dream up my own stories and find my tribe of people when I had always felt like an outsider. Art allowed me to put my varied emotions all in one place and into a clear channel of creation.

I have sold a lot art in these nineteen years since my first professional exhibition. I have created a lot as well and luckily I don't have a closet of doom packed with unsold works.  However, I am sure there is a gallery or two that wishes some of my older work would sell so they would have more room in their closets. I am fortunate that I have a dedicated following and community of patrons and fellow artists that respect my work and value me.

Currently, this is not enough to pay the bills. It has been in the past and it will be again in the future but it is a struggle. These past four years have been the biggest struggle of my life but thanks to art I am still here. I am still filled with the belief that things will get better and it is not the time (nor will it ever be) to give up on my art. When you know why you are on the planet it is hard to just walk away.

Sometimes all I can hear in my head is "it's time to end this charade." However, I am not going to stop. I am not going to give in. I am not going to quit. This is not obstinacy on my part, this is faith and drive. This is a call to action.

Luckily, the cheerleader doesn't stay down for long.

Alright, I'll say it. Keep fighting, the world needs you and your art...

I wrote one blog in my mind and typed another. This is because of you. Thank you. x

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