Moving at a certain velocity

Well, yesterday marked the first Friday in my studio blog's history that I didn't post something while not on some pre-arranged hiatus. Is this the beginning of the end? Is this the Saturday blog now? You can rest assured I sat in front of my computer logged into blogger, waiting to write something, anything- yesterday but nothing came to me. I have a pretty good idea why. In my opinion my blog has lost something, it has been here but it hasn't been the in-depth, inspired blog of the past. This saddens me really, as this blog was one my favorite things, but it appears to be one of the first and obvious victims of my lack of balance.

This lack of balance stems from many things and many of them good and happy things. Rediscovering my love of photography and posting an image everyday on blipfoto has taken some of my focus away from my painting and has been an additional and very rewarding way to express myself and has put me in touch with a new community. Moving into my studio outside my house and being heavily involved in the artist community of the Fayetteville Underground has taken a lot of energy and stamina. I love the community there, but it has taken a lot out of me to learn how to deal with ten or more personalities, and go to all the organizational meetings to get this all off the ground. Keeping the peace, trying to play all sides, and all the while maintaining a studio practice is a harder than I thought it would be.

But, while it has been a busy and scattered time, I have been productive. I had to take stock of all this on Monday. I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed that I wasn't doing enough, as I don't have a exhibition on the horizon any time soon and sometimes I can lose my way when I don't. So, I went to the studio early (before my peers- when all is quiet) and I wrote what I had done in the last 8 weeks or so.

"Just in the past 8 weeks, I have sold 7 canvas paintings and 14 small works on paper.
I was in a group show at the ddp gallery.
I moved into a new studio.
I have painted 6 new paintings and have 8 new paintings in progress.
I have painted 20 new works on paper.
I have checked in with all my away Arkansas galleries in person- and now have work in Texas.
I keep exploring my passion for photography every day on blip.
I have a whole new multi media project that I am excited about in the works and I am learning new things, had the guts to ask Swedish musician Af Bellinde to perhaps collaborate.
I went to Atlanta and Kansas City and fed my need for new art and music and culture.
All this while going to all sorts of meetings and helping to make The Fayetteville Underground (fifteen artist's studios and four galleries) a successful place."

So, I missed yesterday's blog, and some past entries haven't been as rich as they were before. I can see why, and ultimately it is no big deal. Ideally, I could manage it all, you would still be getting the quality you deserve here, my house would also be super organized and lovely, my dog would not feel neglected by me, I would be the picture of complete health and all my relationships would be in tip top working order. But I am not that skilled at managing it all, and my expectations for myself are unrealistic.

So, I suggest that you too, slow down and take stock of what you are doing, it is sometimes hard for us to see how hard we are working, especially when we are always moving at a certain velocity through this life, through our art, our career. You may be surprised at what all you have accomplished and what you are capable of. Trying to find balance in this life is a worthy pursuit, but if you are not able; don't beat yourself up either. Know that you are doing the best you can do, and that everyone in your life is doing the best they can do as well.

I am awake- it's morning. I am listening to the most beautiful music in the dark of 3 a.m. and this is my life. It's a wonderful life.

Thank you.

PS. If you happen to live in Manchester England, Steven Heaton's Dreams in a changing landscape opens today! Good luck Steven!