As I looked forward

I used to shield myself from too many inspirations, too many colors and too many ideas. I liked to keep it simple. 

I used to be someone who could handle one major event in a day. I could go to the store or I could go see friends but to do both would be too much. 

When I learned to drive at the age of 31, I couldn't drive with the radio on or the windows open and I spent too much time looking in the rear view mirror worried about the people behind me. I was taking too much time to turn in my silent, enclosed car, I was sure of it.

Today I am surrounded by inspirations and my studio table is covered with paint of many different colors. Yellow, magenta, blue and orange and not just one shade of each but several.

In my studio I watch as a dull shade of grey changes to almost lavender against the background of my latest painting. I lose myself in this color magic. Perhaps nothing can be kept simple or dull for long. Change the background color and it too will sing and become something new. 

I haven't driven a car in almost two years but one of the last times I did, all my windows were open, the music was loud and my heart was light as I looked forward.

I do not make a living as an artist but I do make a life.