Friday, August 5, 2016

Perfectly average

New series in progress
An average week was had. I worked in the studio on my new series. I promoted my work throughout various social media channels. No furniture was found or refurbished from the streets. I saw a film, went for walks, saw friends, meditated, exercised and ate well. I participated in my first pub quiz. Chores were taken care of, the cat was taken to the vet and my lovely in-laws were visited. Sunflowers were purchased for the flat and I think tonight we will be having vegan gluten free fajitas for dinner and start watching the latest version of the X-files (we had to watch all the old ones and the two terrible films first).

Like I said an average week.

My healthy cat is sitting at the back window, smelling the sunflowers. I have a beer and I am listening to Chet Baker as I write this. The tree in the back garden is catching the sun and swaying in the breeze like the scene from the film Phenomenon with John Travolta. I can make this meaningful too just like they do in the film. My average weeks can be viewed from slightly off center and made beautiful or they can remain average, it's up to me.

I have been thinking about the ebb and flow of life and art; grasping on to the flow and not enjoying as much, the ebb. Continually living in the flow is not usually sustainable and the ebbs are actually okay. They are not dark valleys as they sometimes once were because I love myself too much for that. What I want to learn now is how to enjoy the ebbs more. I want to love myself enough to not worry about the average weeks and to not need to view them from off center to make them something more than they are. I have been around long enough to know that another flow is coming and I also know the average weeks serve a purpose.

Maybe this is a long way of saying that working on my paintings is like pulling teeth just now. I know they will resolve themselves eventually but I want them to be beautiful now, damn it!

I also want to remember to understand and appreciate the importance of the mundane. There is value in simply showing up, period. There is no need to grasp and cling to the initial inspiration that might set me on fire at the beginning of a series. It will come around or it won't but the series will happen. It makes it more fun and it feels better to be in the flow but a long hard slog through the ebb can also have its own rewards and lessons.

I know this. I just needed to write it down so I will remember again (and again).

So here's to the average weeks. Here's to showing up and living.

The sunflowers look gorgeous against the grey cloudy sky in the distance. The tree is still now. Chet Baker plays on and I am having a perfectly average evening and that's alright with me.

Until next week, you know what to do...


  1. Yeah, dealing with ones emotions as related to the work must be a lifetime process.Seems that way to me anyway. Maybe with age, I'm doing better at it, but as you say, it's better to show up and do nothing than it is to not show up.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment, Jan. It's always good to hear the perspectives of artists that have been working and dealing with the nuances of this artful life a wee bit longer than myself. I'll keep showing up! I hope you will too!