Diving back into the work

This week found me back in the studio passionately working and it felt good. I returned to my paper series that originally started off as "the dark anchor" but now seems to be evolving into something larger and perhaps less dark. I am looking forward to framing these, I think these might fit in the expanded Echoes and Memory series once complete.

On Tuesday, there was an easy going sofa edition of the Studio Video Visit where I read an excerpt out of this brilliant book.

In other news, I am very excited to announce that I am having a solo pop-up exhibition on Friday, September 21st from 7-9pm at The Out of the Blue Drill Hall! I am honoured to present my work in conjunction with Maggie's Centre Culture Crawl, a fundraising event happening in 12 cities across the UK to support people affected by cancer.

I also started working on a potential commission for an interior design project. We will see what comes of it. I am enjoying taking inspiration from the designer's mood boards. Right now, it's a fun challenge and experiment. 

Did you know I accept commissions and work with designers? Well, now you do. I enjoy the challenge of working with colour palettes, mood boards and within budgets and deadlines so please contact me if this is a service you are interested in.

Building up the surface on four 70x60cm canvases 

The flat hunt continues, we are now one month into the search, we have eight weeks to go. 34 calls to various agencies and private landlords. Countless online searches, emails, and inquiries, time spent walking the neighbourhood taking photos of signs, and following up leads of friends. We've been to eight scheduled viewings. One application passed over. September starts tomorrow, two viewings are scheduled for Monday. I am grateful for the recent sunshine, yoga, meditation, my supportive friends, and all the helpers in the world. Let's see what happens this month.

Thanks again to everyone who read last week's blog post. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to reach out to me. You are all beautiful people.

Until next week, keep fighting and if you are an Interpol fan, buy their new album, it's good.

Love and light to you and yours. x

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Do you enjoy my blog, my video visits, the paintings I share, or the other content that I provide for free across social media? Consider buying me a cup of coffee in support of my work. I am a member of Ko-fi.com, A friendly way for creators to get paid! Thank you!

Pleased to meet me

It's none of your business how I live my life. I come here to talk about my art and painting. I share my new works with you, recap my Tuesday Studio videos, share interviews, exciting news and let you know where you can see and buy my work or how you can now buy me a cup of coffee in support of my working vision and all the things I share freely on social media channels.

Everything I share is mostly couched in art. It is the studio blog after all and that makes sense. However, sometimes I get tired of just sticking to the facts and the limits of our relationship here. 

I remember once I wrote my Grandma Chapman a letter when I was probably 14 or 15 alluding to the fact that I didn't want a superficial relationship with her anymore. I didn't want to tell her about the weather in Fayetteville and ask her how it was down in North Little Rock. Had it rained? Was it humid there too? I wanted to share my real life with her. I wanted to share when I was mad at my father (her son) or that I had been smoking cigarettes at lunch and after school and when did she start smoking anyway? And there's this boy I like but he's all wrong for me... I wanted to cut the shit so to speak. 

I want to do that with you too. I want to do that with myself as well. 

I've been having a hard time and not just because we need to move from this flat. I have been having a hard time for years.

I pause here because that feels like a heavy statement. I have been having a hard time for years. Yes, me. The one that wishes that you are happy, well, and inspired at the end of each video visit. The one that tells you to keep fighting at the end of most blogs. These are like affirmations that I put out to the world but it is also what I need to hear. I want to be well, happy, and inspired. I want to keep fighting.

So while I have been having a hard time for years, I have also been doing things to help me have a less of a hard time. These things include yoga, meditation, relaxation exercises, affirmations, chanting, counselors, life coaches, shamans, Chinese medicine doctors, western doctors, an outpatient chronic pain clinic for fibromyalgia, masseuses, healers, reaching out to close friends, walking, exercise, writing, making art, volunteering, flirting with and sometimes committing to sober living sometimes for years and sometimes for months, and generally trying to moving forward.

I have also done plenty of things to only exacerbate my hard times over the years, you know like those classics of being angry, drinking too much, eating too much, loving too much, needing too much, and changing too much to please others, numbing myself out, isolating, and living in denial all the while doubting myself, feeling low, and fearing the world.

I remember in my twenties when I was living in Oregon and I was having debilitating anxiety and panic attacks, my brother Sean told me to look inside myself for the answers rather than outside. This sentence written in a letter that took a week to reach me mostly just pissed me off at the time because I couldn't really grasp the concept.

The answers are within but I have needed a lot of help and time to find them there. It's none of your business how I live my life. I come here to talk about my art and painting. I also come here to share my humanity and connect with you. For the past eight weeks and four days, I have made a concerted effort to practice yoga along with meditation (sometimes twice a day). I have been practicing both off and on for decades but this time has felt a bit different, somehow more internalised, connected, and helpful than in times before and I am grateful.

This is setting the stage for better thinking and feeling states and I need this as we look for a place to live and as we move into autumn and winter in Scotland. I have also been listening to Russell Brand's latest book Recovery: Freedom from our Addictions. I like the way he presents the 12 steps in a very relatable way. Mr. Brand can be a polarising celebrity with an egocentric shamanistic vibe (but damn, his impressive vocabulary is certainly something to aspire to). Whatever you think of him, I think he is hitting the right tone with this book in order to connect with many who have been lost when it comes to traditional recovery literature. I can make this statement with some strange and small degree of experience, as once upon a time I was in training to become a chemical dependency counselor in Oregon before I nipped that idea in the bud so I could stop worrying about my drinking, enjoy the music scene, and focus on my art - I am confident I made the right choice. Anyway, some of you might enjoy the book, I am still working my way through it.

I sent this blog post to a dear friend to read before I published it. Am I saying anything wrong? Am I going to be misunderstood? Am I going to be painted into a corner? Am I going to get in trouble? 

The answer is no.

I just want you to know me. I want to share a new baseline understanding. I want to be more of a whole person in this world and that can only be a good thing.

My name is Megan Chapman and I bet we have a lot in common.

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Do you enjoy my blog, my video visits, the paintings I share, or the other content that I provide for free across social media? Consider buying me a cup of coffee in support of my work. I am a member of Ko-fi.com, A friendly way for creators to get paid! Thank you!

I tally, check off, and list.

I often don't think I work hard enough. I tally, check off, and list.

My monkey mind rages even with daily yoga and meditation. Am I working? Yes. Am I working hard enough? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Are you working when the work doesn't earn money? Yes, sometimes I am in action and I think action counts as work. Money is separate. Was I ever expected to make money at this? Yes and no.

Do I earn my keep? Yes. Do I earn my place in society? Yes. Do I have to cook and clean to earn my place? No. Do I have to put on lipstick to earn my place? No. Do I have to wait in line? I have been waiting politely for what seems like forever so maybe that is on me. Do I have to wait for permission? I do this too often. Do I have to follow the rules? I hope not but I do. Do I have to censor myself? No, but I do. Do I have to watch as man after man and after man's paintings get featured on abstract painting pages? Seems like it.

With the perfect storm raging in the background of my life I took to the beach for some space.



It's on me to make this work. It's on me to make peace with my calling. I take responsibility for my choices and I am not giving up. I am going to raise my voice a little louder and show up a little bolder for myself. Let's see what happens...

Until next week, I am grateful for you and your work. I see you.
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Do you enjoy my blog, my video visits, the paintings I share, or the other content that I provide for free across social media? Consider buying me a cup of coffee in support of my work. I am a member of Ko-fi.com, A friendly way for creators to get paid! Thank you!

The Dark Anchor

The Dark Anchor, a new series of works on paper. Learn more on the Tuesday Studio Video Visit.

Sorry, I am short on words this week. I'm still looking for a place to live while trying to keep my shit together (thank you yoga and meditation) but hey, if you miss words and want to take a trip down memory lane, read this post from eleven years ago about my trip to a museum.

Until next week, keep fighting!

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Do you enjoy my blog, my video visits, the paintings I share, or the other content that I provide for free across social media? Consider buying me a cup of coffee in support of my work. I am a member of Ko-fi.com, A friendly way for creators to get paid! Thank you!

The week that kicked my arse

distressed paper painting

Dear Readers,

Apologies for getting this blog to you a wee bit later than usual. It couldn't be avoided. This week kicked my arse.

So let's see, it all started off nicely, I worked in my studio and have been processing some ideas about my art and why I work and worry about my art the way I do. That discussion will be for another day.

Tuesday, I recorded my video visit as usual and worked on some handmade paper from India. It's a lovely cotton rag and is great fun to work on. Very meaty and also very good to distress, fold and paint on. Here's the video if you missed it over on my Facebook Art page.



After that video was filmed, the arse kicking started. I got a call at the studio from my husband, Stewart saying that we needed to move out of the flat he has rented since 2008 and that I have lived in since I moved here in 2014. So, that was a bit of a shock. We have until October 31st to leave but of course can leave sooner if we find something.

Suddenly all my time and energy turned to the cause of looking for a new place to live. Everything else seemed quite small in comparison. I happened to also be a bit unwell and not functioning at 100% this week which complicated things. So you'll forgive me if my content suffers a bit here and across my social media platforms until we get a bit more settled.

I have turned to the artist community and friends of friends on social media around Edinburgh and the surrounding areas for help in finding a new place to live that meets our needs and budget. If you are local and happen to know of any places in Edinburgh for rent, please send me an email or leave a comment. Thanks!

I am trying to think positive but also accept the situation for what it is, which is complicated and challenging. I look forward to writing this blog in the near future from a new flat with new insight, and clarity. New beginnings can be exciting and inspiring times and I am hoping for the best.

I even took to social media and asked for help in picking a topic for this week's blog as I was drawing a blank. A few questions came up and I was grateful for the help (thanks friends). Questions about materials, process, and even one on how to move studios (I am thankfully not moving my studio right now - let's just hope I can keep it!).

I don't talk too much about my brushes, paints, and the exact process of creating or even the mixing of colours. I am not sure why that is. I guess I don't think that stuff matters that much. Or perhaps I just like the magical/spiritual aspect of painting so much that I don't like getting bogged down in the material aspects. Whatever the reason, my helpers from the internet got me thinking and that's always a good thing! I can't wallow in house hunting all the time now, can I? I do answer some of those questions in the interview I did with Jackson's Art Supplies so if you missed it or haven't read it yet, you can find it here.

Here's a question to the artists out there. Why are you an artist? Did you choose it or did it choose you? How do reconcile being an artist in a culture that doesn't quite understand what you do, how you spend your time, or what your value is to society?

Until next week, keep fighting and I will promise to do the same.

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Do you enjoy my blog, my video visits, the paintings I share, or the other content that I provide for free across social media? Consider buying me a cup of coffee in support of my work. I am a member of Ko-fi.com, A friendly way for creators to get paid! Thank you!