I went back to the studio on Thursday. It was looking iffy but I made it and I am so glad I did. I bought some Oreos and some cold brewed coffee (I'm back on a bit of coffee after 29 years of not). I also bought myself The Cure's Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me album from 1987 as an extra bit of encouragement (along with the coffee and Oreos- whatever it takes). That album was one of my favourites from that very year and it's just as good now. And then the above happened. I took the large abstract painting I had done on a gifted to me 100x80cm linen canvas (thanks patron!) and turned it on its side and then quickly drew these charcoal faces. Red cheeks, white cheeks, wobbly cheeks, eyes getting more impatient and smudged, mouths quick and dirty - that's how I work. I don't have time to waste - paint around the shapes - everything is abstract - see the old painting peeking through. Spirits come forward. These quickdraws are standing all around us. Not even considered. Rude and rushed - poor and floating - they become one. I don't understand much anymore I think. But I know I don't want to make them "better" just yet. People like them raw and bad. So maybe I should too.
So, I left the spirits and entered into their world, where the yellow line took me by the hand. The more troubled, the better. Bread crumbs into the darkness that I follow alone.
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"Well we’re a mile under the ground
And I’m thinking that it’s Christmas
And I’m kissing you hard
Like I’ve got very important business
And no one knows
And no one sees us
Because they’re drinking their selves senseless
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing in the snakepit..."
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