Message from an unknown sender

I went to the studio on Monday and a new painting showed up; dark, veiled, and mysterious. Filled with broken rules, muddy colours, and no distinct vantage point. It came fast and strong, the title too. This was a message from an unknown sender. A message that I was very happy to receive. It unnerved and excited me and provided some sense of relief.

The start of a new series brings a type of fever and remembering back into the process of painting. I love having a framework, the foundation to work and play in. I need a reason. I don't paint because I don't know what else to do with my time or hands. Honestly, I spend a lot of my time resisting painting. Balancing that uncomfortable dangerous undercurrent, that anxiety that will finally push me to get back to the "serious" work (whatever that means). This week the "serious" work showed up again. The kind of work, I love the most.

Just as I love the colour white and most colours (really - look back at my earlier work), I also love black and darkness (again, look back at my earlier work and the "dark landscapes"). We were trained not to use black and white if you could ever use another colour. I like breaking rules. Muddy paintings are also considered bad form, and some of my earlier paintings are so clean and vibratory you'd think a machine painted them. But, I like a bit of mud, a dirty veil on the surface of the painting, a bit of dullness over the brighter colours below. Remember the shock after they cleaned the Sistine Chapel ceiling... I liked it before (and after). Think of all the reproductions we have come to love because we were looking at old, yellowed and dirty paintings before they were cleaned and restored.

Darker paintings might not work with your decor or match your sofa, they might not sell in galleries as easily as their colourful and "fun" fellow paintings (I know this to be true - why do you think I stopped with the dark landscapes). Darker paintings will, however,  thrill me and I think that is a very good reason to receive their message. So I call out to the darkness and crack open the studio door, I invite it in. The dark warmth envelopes, the other colours reach out from underneath, the veil lifts and welcomes us into the fold with mystery and yet something familiar we all recognise.

Until next week, keep fighting.

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