|New series in progress|
Like I said an average week.
My healthy cat is sitting at the back window, smelling the sunflowers. I have a beer and I am listening to Chet Baker as I write this. The tree in the back garden is catching the sun and swaying in the breeze like the scene from the film Phenomenon with John Travolta. I can make this meaningful too just like they do in the film. My average weeks can be viewed from slightly off center and made beautiful or they can remain average, it's up to me.
I have been thinking about the ebb and flow of life and art; grasping on to the flow and not enjoying as much, the ebb. Continually living in the flow is not usually sustainable and the ebbs are actually okay. They are not dark valleys as they sometimes once were because I love myself too much for that. What I want to learn now is how to enjoy the ebbs more. I want to love myself enough to not worry about the average weeks and to not need to view them from off center to make them something more than they are. I have been around long enough to know that another flow is coming and I also know the average weeks serve a purpose.
Maybe this is a long way of saying that working on my paintings is like pulling teeth just now. I know they will resolve themselves eventually but I want them to be beautiful now, damn it!
I also want to remember to understand and appreciate the importance of the mundane. There is value in simply showing up, period. There is no need to grasp and cling to the initial inspiration that might set me on fire at the beginning of a series. It will come around or it won't but the series will happen. It makes it more fun and it feels better to be in the flow but a long hard slog through the ebb can also have its own rewards and lessons.
I know this. I just needed to write it down so I will remember again (and again).
So here's to the average weeks. Here's to showing up and living.
The sunflowers look gorgeous against the grey cloudy sky in the distance. The tree is still now. Chet Baker plays on and I am having a perfectly average evening and that's alright with me.
Until next week, you know what to do...