Conversations and quandaries

Broughton St Mary’s church turret in autumn

Hello Dear Reader, 

Here we are again, another Friday. I hope you are okay. I am not great but at least I am not ill and I haven't had any migraines lately so that is a positive. This week was frustrating and difficult for a multitude of reasons. Even with the beauty of autumn as a backdrop - I am weary. Are we all weary now? Is this just how it is going to be? I sure hope not. 

So let's focus on the beauty and the good parts, that seems to be all I know how to do. I can be struggling and still recognise the wonders of life. 

I went for a walk with my friend Jen on Saturday and introduced her to my favourite local tree. I had been hesitant to go by and visit my scottish friend tree as I was worried it might not be there due to some recent council heavy pruning. Jen kindly accompanied me as I faced that concern and we were both delighted to see its far reaching majesty, albeit very lopsided.  

On Sunday, I met my friend Julia, for a ramble through the city centre and down into Stockbridge. We enjoyed warm drinks and chips while sitting in the window of a crowded cafe. Afterwards we went to a charity shop where I scored a wonderful scarf. We then continued down the road to see the current exhibition, Beneath the Veil at The House of Smalls. This is only the second exhibition I have seen at The House of Smalls and I have been equally impressed and deeply moved each time. If you are in Edinburgh or passing through, I would highly recommend putting this gallery on your list to visit. Amy is a friendly and helpful gallerist and has created a space with an important and commendable ethos.

chai latte with Julia before the exhibition

After meeting up with Julia, there was of course my Sunday session of painting and talking about art with my mom. I worked on the two canvases below. Just adding different washes of paint. Roughing in and wiping away the colours in layers while listening to Brian Eno and drinking tea. Not a bad way to spend some time. I like them pretty well as they are, but may continue to work on them this week. 

work in progress

work in progress

On Monday, the haar rolled in, and it seemed like the perfect time to take a walk and make some photos. I feel fortunate to have this wilderness so close. I know these trees and this patch of land so well and in return I feel known by them. I find so much support and solace in these nearby woods and the paths by the water of Leith. 

As usual, there was work and all the other bits and pieces that make a life - exercise, meditation, meals, conversations and quandaries. I am now sitting on the sofa, listening to one song on repeat and feeling grateful to have shared this Friday ritual once more with you.

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. 

May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. 

May all beings rejoice in the wellbeing of others. 

May all beings live in peace, free from greed and hatred. 

Thank you for being here. Until next week, take care. 

Know your rights

tis the season for tarot

good matcha with friends

painting on a Sunday

and for making a statement

Hello Dear Readers, 

As the captions state, tis the season for tarot, good matcha with friends, painting on a Sunday, and for making a statement. Add in a bit of work, genealogy, a planned walk with a pal tomorrow and a planned meet up with another pal on Sunday and that is where you find me this week. I am a bit tired, careworn, and restless.

Thanks to all you culture warriors for being here and for continuing to fight for goodness and beauty. You rule. 

I will be with the folks back home in spirit tomorrow. Know your rights. 

Return to that important ritual

It's starting to look a lot like autumn

Hello Dear Readers.

The magic google switch must have been toggled off on my blog the last few weeks as my numbers have plummeted and from such great heights. Oh well, I never quite believed them anyway. If you missed last week's post, I shared a fair amount of art - you can see it here. 

The viruses have finally left me and I managed to get out for a few daily walks this past week after not being able to, due to injury and illness. Now the migraines have decided it is their time to shine, so for the past two days I have been dealing with crazy auras, pain, light sensitivity, and muscle spasms. My sleep has been pretty horrible too. I am fed up and feel like crying more often than I'd like. 

My blog has turned into that call you have with your ageing relatives or friends and all they do is tell you about their aches, pains, and various ailments. Tis the season. 

yellow leaves on cobbles

It can't be all bad and it really isn't. The walks in the yellow leaves were enjoyable, and it felt good to return to that important ritual. Two of my other routines that I enjoy that didn't happen for the past two weeks, returned this week - so that was good too. 

I managed to work on two more canvases during the regular "Sunday Sessions" that my mom and I continue to share. I lay the ground work so that they can be finished off this week perhaps. The series continues to build and I am glad of that. 

New work in progress

I also attended an online talk and I returned to an online group that I missed last week as well. And I tried something new that I enjoyed. All of those activities were supportive and helpful. So if it hadn't been for the migraines, this would have been a pretty good "rebuilding" sort of week. 

I watched a great documentary, a show I enjoy, and started rereading one of my favourite series of books as a comfort - all while working, connecting with friends and family and doing all the other tedious things that adults must do. I will consider this week a success, even with the dumb migraines. 

Edinburgh Central Library Board Room Window

Yesterday, I met up with most of the SAU staff team along with our new president, Tamara Rogovic for an in person meeting at the Edinburgh Central Library. I feel very fortunate to work with the fine folks at the union - we are a small and hard working team. It was a productive meeting and so good to spend time with each other again - as it is such a rarity since we all work remotely. 

Are you a member of the Scottish Artists Union? Membership has numerous benefits and it's the members that make the union what it is and what it can be! Join us!

Jenni's October 2025 design on the wall behind the envelope containing the 2026 edition! 

To round out the week, when I got home from the meeting, there was sunshine in an envelope waiting for me! The 2026 Jenni Douglas Calendar has arrived! I am not a fan of the years zipping by, but if they have to - I am going to mark it with Jenni's gorgeous and colourful designs. This year she has two calendar designs to choose from - Scots Creatures or Art. You can get one for yourself here.

That's all I have for you this week. I hope you are doing okay. Thanks for being here. When I sat down to write this, I wasn't feeling too great in my body, mind, or spirit. However, writing this has given me some much needed clarity. There was a lot of good this week, even with the pain and frustration.

Ever onward with grace, acceptance, plenty of rest, and deep breaths. 

Please keep fighting - we need you, and we need each other. You are part of the good. 

Forgotten Landmarks

When the sun bounces off the neighbour's window and illuminates my easel 
(raiders of the lost ark style) 

Hello Dear Readers, 

We meet again. How are you this week? There is so much going on in the world, I am not sure how anyone is really okay. But we keep showing up in our own little ways, in our little pockets and larger communities - surviving the madness together. 

As I mentioned last week I have been unwell, so it was another week spent in recovery mode. September felt like a month of sickness, with a week here and there feeling less bad, but not great. I want to give my thanks and gratitude to NHS Scotland, from reception, to doctors, to pharmacists, - I am always amazed and thankful. We must protect and support our NHS at all costs. Coming from the states, I certainly never take it for granted. 

Thankfully, I am feeling much better this week and I'm planning to meet Julia for a coffee nearby later today as a bit of an experiment. Read her blog - it's almost as good as meeting my talented friend in person.

Speaking of friends, my very kind pal, Philip left me a gift in my garden last Friday. I was feeling pretty glum about being so ill again as well as not celebrating my Scotland milestones. It was such a boost to receive this thoughtful tote filled with an assortment of teas, a matcha advent calendar, and The Book - The Ultimate Guide to Rebuilding Civilization. The Book is filled with gorgeous illustrations and it brought to mind one of my favourites from childhood, Gnomes. The kindness of friends and community is everything. I am very lucky. 

kindness

This week, rather than watching old films, I spent some time researching the ancient family (my autumn hobby). I didn't get too far but it was a good way to spend some recovery time. I plan to spend a bit more time this weekend with the old ghosts. 

I had cousins that lived in the Canongate, here in Edinburgh, and one even married in the Canongate Kirk in 1731. They left behind a fascinating set of letters to their first cousin, Governor Samuel Cranston of Rhode Island, who was my 8th great-grandfather. His father John Cranston (also a governor) came to the colonies but John's brothers Caleb and Samuel (my 9th great uncles) stayed in Scotland.

I of course, would still love to know more about my more common and much more recent Scottish dirt farmer ancestors my 3rd great-grandparents Murdoch Campbell and his wife Christian McNeill, but I fear their records are lost to the mists of time. So the fancy people it is. 

And to round out the week, there was of course, painting - I managed to work on three canvases this weekend. I need to get better photographs of two of them, but I will share the one I was pleased with here. I put the image against a black background to share what it might look like in a simple tray frame or against a dark wall. 

Latest finished piece in the series

There are now thirteen works in my series Fire on the Hills of Yesterday. This series began in July as my mother and I began chatting about art and working on our pieces each Sunday. It has been great to share this experience with my mother. 

My latest work is directly referencing a previous series of paintings from 2004, that was called "Within the twilight." A dark landscape series that I was fond of but that never really found its audience - however many of these works did find homes one way or another, over time. That series eventually started to shift as I evolved as an artist and gained gallery representation. It is fun to revisit the ideas behind this work. If you have been following my art for a while you may have recognised the reference and may live with some older cousins of these new works. 

A dear friend and fellow painter wrote that these new works were like "lost 18th century masterpieces of forgotten landmarks." I will happily take that! 

the illuminated easel 

We are on a wandering path, full of learning, unexpected beauty, and choices. Every choice, loss, and discovery makes us who we are. Thank you for being on this path with me.

Until next week, take good care.

Special thanks as always go to my dedicated wee group of monthly Ko-fi Supporters who encourage me to create these works, write this blog, and stay on this path through their regular support. Thank you, Jennifer, Tamsin, Jennifer, and Annie!

Thank you, Pat, for the monthly gift you arranged that continues to support my art. (I know you would have loved the Canongate story most of all). You are missed.

Illuminate me in my current puny state

Works in progress, laying the ground with gold, cadmium, and black

I am unwell on the sofa again - a tearful, anxious, snotty and coughing mess. Thank goodness for the sun that has just angled to illuminate me in my current puny state. It's not all bad, thanks to the kind delivery person (who I have now seen two days in a row) I have what I need to care for this devilish cold. She was like Florence Nightingale. I bowed my thanks to her and enjoyed our mutually compassionate conversation. Workers make the world go around - we have to stick together. Don't let the bastards divide and conquer and for the love of your god or none, don't do their work for them!

Katharine Hepburn, film still from Sylvia Scarlett. Directed by George Cukor. 1935

In other news, I have watched three films and a series of interviews. My current interest is in Katharine Hepburn. I mean I have always loved her but somehow I love her now more than ever. I have not yet viewed Sylvia Scarlett but I am not letting that stop me from sharing the stunning image above. 

I watched Katharine starring in Keeper of the Flame and Holiday, both films are by George Cukor. Then I watched several old interviews with the somewhat elusive actor - Dick Cavett had a great 2 part interview with her which you can find on YouTube.

Then I turned to Ingrid Bergman and the Arch of Triumph. As I mentioned on social media, this one was a bit of a slog - but what has struck me from the past 3 films I have watched from 1938, 1942, and 1948 is how current they feel.

Before someone put the plague upon my hoose, I enjoyed some autumnal moments and worked on a couple of other canvases (I now have 4 that are in various states of progress, which is fine by me and a good sign).

Evidence of autumn 

One of my many rituals

walking along the water of Leith

Even my latest two works in progress (seen at the top of this post) have an autumnal flash about them. I must say, I have been enjoying these Sunday paintings. I can find working a part time job and painting regularly difficult to balance. I am pleased to have prioritised my art again and I am glad my mother and I can both talk about our projects and hold each other accountable. I enjoy the humour of currently being a literal Sunday painter. I am hoping to feel well enough this weekend to work back into the two paintings above.

In other news, eleven years ago today I arrived in Scotland to make a go of it and five years ago this week I became a citizen. I hope my ancestors are happy. Thank you for being a part of it. Until next week, keep fighting but don't forget to stop to rest.

We need you and the gifts only you can bring.

Like a mirror to my soul

Conversations on stillness, mixed media on canvas panel © Megan Chapman

Hello Dear Readers, 

I had two paintings on the go last week that I meant to return to and work on but I started a new one instead. See above, conversations on stillness. I enjoyed working on this piece, building up the layers and textures. It was an old fashioned meditative experience (I need more of those). I was listening to Brian Eno and Nils Frahm while I worked and I think you can tell. 

On Monday, my friend Julia and I went to see Resistance: How protest shaped Britain and photography shaped protest at Modern Two. The exhibition was conceived by artist and filmmaker Steve McQueen. It was compelling to see the stark and powerful exhibition and to learn some of the stories from a century of protest. If you are local to Edinburgh or are passing through, do go see it before it closes in January. Did you know that on the First Monday of each month you can pay what you wish (minimum £2)? It's a very helpful offering for artists and arts workers on a budget. 

We also crossed the road to Modern One and I have to say even though we ran through the lower floor with haste before closing time, my heart was so happy to see some of my favourites. I don't visit Modern One near enough and it was a delight to see these old and new friends. I do think of certain artists' works as a key that opens the door to my very existence - like a mirror to my soul - there you are and there I am...

Artists such as Frankenthaler, Albers, and Morandi set my brain on fire and then we entered a room with three Agnes Martin paintings?! Oh, you can bet my heart was singing! I love Agnes Martin - she speaks the language of painting so beautifully and deeply that I could roll around in it. No bullshit. Honest. My day was made. 

Untitled #5 by Agnes Martin National Galleries of Scotland
ARTIST ROOMS National Galleries of Scotland and Tate. Acquired jointly through The d'Offay Donation with assistance from the National Heritage Memorial Fund and Art Fund, 2008  ©Estate of Agnes Martin

I even saw one of the wee Francesca Woodman photographs from the collection (the gallery has 23 of her photos). I feel very fortunate that all of this great art lives in my city. It still blows my wee Arkansas born mind at times but mostly just fills me with gratitude and genuine awe.

This weekend there will be more painting and more rest. Thank you for checking in here and spending some of your time with me. I hope you are doing okay. I know it is hard out there. Keep fighting. We need you and the gifts you bring, now more than ever. 

Work well not hard

Small canvas work in progress

Hello Dear Readers,

I am not sure what is going on but my old studio blog is getting a lot of traction, especially in these last two months - the numbers suggest bots, but I will choose to hope there are real people behind the ever expanding view count. Hello! Thanks for joining me on this Friday ritual that has spanned over 18 years now. 

It's a gorgeous morning, a cool breeze rustles the leaves of the bay tree two doors down. I have a cup of Earl Grey (been off the matcha since having Covid) and I am listening to frequencies designed to help me focus.

The world continues to be "wild at heart and weird on top." The flood of information and outrage is really too much to bear by design. 

I have the privilege and deep need to focus on the breeze on the back of my neck, the way the sunlight makes patterns on the floor, and currently the ability to prioritise my relative peace. 

As I mentioned last week, I had Covid. I am now on the mend and grateful that I recovered as quickly and as easily as I did. Still not fun and quite worrisome at times of course, but I am glad to be feeling better (and grateful for vaccines and science).

You know that statement, "Do something your future self would thank you for?" I often struggle to know what statements like this actually mean, but I think I have figured it out. I just happened to feel inspired to batch cook and freeze portions of 3 different meals for myself before I got sick. It was incredible to have these tasty and wholesome lunches and dinners waiting for me each day that I was ill. I was struck by how smart, efficient, and caring it was to have done this small task that took maybe an hour and gave back so much more than the time I put in. This is something I will try to do more of in the future. I am a good cook (I think a lot of artists are) and it was such a gift to myself to be able to enjoy these meals. 

In other news, I was able to paint. I worked on two more new pieces in my Sunday series, just laying the ground work for what I will try to finish this Sunday. I seem to be developing more natural rhythms in my life that work with my brain rather than against it. It feels good to have these particular days, times, or hours for these specific activities. I have always mentioned that in painting, I find a limited palette more expansive. I think I am working toward creating a more "limited palette" for my whole life. You can do so much with four of your favourite colours, why mess with the ones that confuse, conflict, and muddy the waters? Seems like applying this to life could also be beneficial. 

canvas panel in progress

I will continue to take it easy this weekend, work more on my paintings, enjoy the light, music, and try to cook myself up some more care. I hope you can do something similar. You are worth the kindness you show yourself. You are worth the slowness, the time spent lost in your thoughts and dreams. These are gentle acts of resistance, joy, and love and are more important than you know. Please keep fighting. 

Two red lines = rest

latest canvas panel/ working snapshot

Good morning dear readers, 

The sun is rising, I am on my second cup of chai, and I am sitting in my favourite chair by the window. It is September and chai seems more appropriate than matcha. I am ill so it also seems more cosy. I tested positive for Covid yesterday. This will be the second time I have had it. 

Not to alarm, but if you and your pals have sore throats and "colds" just now, you might want to test as to avoid giving covid to someone. If you are in Scotland and happen to have any old government tests around they still seem to work. Mine lit up in seconds yesterday after testing negative on Monday when my throat first started hurting.

Also if you are ill, please stay home if you can or perhaps wear a mask when you are going to the shops or are riding the bus. It's just a nice thing to do. Being ill sucks - whether it truly is a cold or covid. Many of us haven't had a vaccine in ages these days and are more vulnerable. Okay, that's my spiel.

I am listening to this. A bit different from my usual vibes I know - but I do believe in the healing power of music. You might enjoy it if you are looking for some grounding, relaxing nature based music. 

Until I started feeling unwell on Monday afternoon, I had a nice time since last Friday's Studio Blog. On Friday, I met my pal Philip and did a bit of charity shopping and found some bargains (always a thrill). We also went to lunch at a vegan place I had been wanting to try. If you are local to Leith/Edinburgh, Faceplant on Duke Street is 100% vegan and a really cute spot. The food was great too! 

Later that afternoon, I  had a lovely art and life chat over video with my friend and fellow artist, Adelaide Shalhope. A great start to the weekend.

On Saturday, I worked in my garden weeding and tidying and learned how to make a new creamy iced fruit tea recipe. I also managed some batch cooking (so glad I had healthy food all prepared in the freezer as it has come in so handy this week). I went down a few wonderful musical rabbit holes and discovered some new songs and sounds. That is always a good thing. A lovely Saturday.

On Sunday, I went to the local car boot sale with Philip and found a couple of small treasures. On Sunday evening, as scheduled, I had the weekly art chat with my mom and rectified two canvases I had been working on the week prior. You can see one of them above. 

On Monday morning, I attended a webinar by Global Trade Department - "Q&A session with Royal Mail: Shipping to the US with Royal Mail and Parcelforce post 29th August." I attended the previous webinar as well, and the situation sounded pretty dire, but now things seem perhaps a bit more manageable. I know that these tariffs are very concerning and impact many UK small businesses and artists. You can find  the latest Q&A webinar here. Things are constantly changing so this is a helpful resource to know in order to stay up to date as things develop.

After the webinar, I met my friend and fellow artist Julia Laing in the city centre for a wander and a blether. We went for a tea and then walked towards Dundas street not thinking that most of the galleries would be closed (we did look in gallery windows - and Julia got to hear my rant about frames being akin to painting jail). We enjoyed a couple of antique shops, a pop up gallery, and then found our way to another coffee shop, where I noticed my throat starting to feel irritated and then we parted ways. I tested negative when I got home and put myself to bed thinking I had the beginnings of a cold. 

Tuesday I rested (and had wild dreams), Wednesday and Thursday I worked from home as usual until I tested positive and here we are. I am now coughing quite a bit as I type. I will most likely be returning to my bed again soon. I hope to be able to do my Sunday art session with my mom. 

And that was a week in this artist's life. One day soon, I might tell you about what is inspiring me, and some of the bigger ideas I have about the future of my art, but currently this reportage style suits me and gets the job done. 

Be well and rest. Thank you for stopping by and for supporting my work - especially my wee kofi crew: Tamsin, Jennifer, Annie, and Jennifer - you are such stars and I am so thankful. 

Until next week, keep fighting. 

Working and worrying

Works in progress from last Sunday's Session with Mom

Hello, Dear Readers,

How are you doing? I’m really glad it’s Friday—the weight of the world is wearing me out. My eyes are desperate to close for the day.

Here's the week in review. I attended the Scottish Artists Union's AGM last Saturday. I gave a wee 10 minute report on the happenings of the Rep Team. Afterwards, I met up with a pal for some matcha and charity shopping in Leith.

Sunday was art day with my mom (see above—laying the foundations for two new paintings). My mother and I have been talking and working on art for eight Sundays now. It’s been a good routine for both of us. I aim to complete at least one of those pieces this Sunday.

I watched the documentary, "Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk" on Sunday morning as well. It was inspiring. 

On Monday, I ventured into the hot wilderness of the city centre and felt "all lost in the supermarket" and tearful as I wandered through the mêlée. When I got home, I saw there was a warning of an active shooter at the University of Arkansas back in my hometown. This was very alarming. Thankfully, everyone was okay in the end, as it turned out to be a cruel and terrorising hoax. However, later in the week, there was another shooting, this time in Minneapolis. I can’t stand America’s relationship with guns.

On Tuesday, I participated in four video events—a training, two online workshops, and a meeting with a friend. On Wednesday and Thursday, I had work, and on Thursday night, I attended another workshop. And here we are. Today, I met a pal for some more charity shopping and a tasty vegan lunch. Afterwards, I had an art chat with a friend.

It was a busy week of working and worrying. But there was also a lot of learning, expanding, and feeling excited about possibilities.

I was strangely tempted to rescue a TV/VCR combo from the street but decided against it. And this is where I leave you.

the revolution will not be televised

Fire on the hills of yesterday

Reserving my words.

Until next week, take care. 

Art, Culture, and Community

dark foundations

 

Good morning, foot soldiers of culture,

It is just after seven in the morning as I take a deep breath and sit down to write. The light is warm as the yellow window shade moves back and forth in the breeze. Nils Frahm's song, Talisman will be the soundtrack for my post today - over and over again, feeling new each time, like a warm dark wave. 

As I mentioned last week, the Spanish band, Los Retumbes were in Edinburgh on tour. I went to see them again on Saturday at Elvis Shakespeare. These shows are Leith's version of a Tiny Desk Concert, held in a combined book and record shop. I was really glad I got to see them again in my community. 

When I am enjoying live music, my mind often puts together a whole new story while the bands are playing. A narrative that includes how beautiful the community of like minded souls are as they watch the band and how lucky I am to be part of it. Everything feels more connected and special, like a dream come true. I am exactly where I am meant to be in that moment.

Los Retumbes at Elvis Shakespeare on Leith Walk

After the musical excitement, it was a mellow weekend of chores, and the sixth week of art chat with my mother (you can see my progress above). I will try to finish those canvases off this Sunday. 

I watched the ITV interview with Nicola Sturgeon on Monday and plan to start listening to her memoir this weekend. I am glad I got to experience her tenure as First Minister of Scotland. I took comfort that a woman just under two years older than me, from a working class background was in charge. 

a photo I took of Nicola Sturgeon in 2019

In other news, besides work, I took a few walks, took some photos, saw a gorgeous moon, and attended three webinars on a variety of educational and training topics, along with two other video events. 

It felt like a busy and well rounded week. All the while the bigger art concepts are rolling around in my head. I still need to process those and bring them to the light of day. All in good time. 

I am about to meet a pal for a morning walk and will meet another friend on Sunday for some more culture - just another week in this artist's life. 

Until next week, please take care and keep fighting. 

Tear it up

under the earth (there is a stone heart)

I am sitting in my favourite chair on a Friday so this can only mean one thing, we are here again. We are spending time together on the Studio Blog. 

The first thing I tend to do these days, is review my photos to remind me of the past week. Then I will flick through my brain waves and see if there were any major themes that I am willing to share. 

Last week's post proved strangely popular according to the numbers - perhaps everyone loves a bit of small furniture or perhaps it was the photos of the dark paintings on the easel. 

On Sunday, I went to the local car boot sale with a pal, and purchased mundane things that I needed - in other words, no vintage spoons, art books, or anything cool. There was matcha (of course) and many laughs were had. Sunday also brought the fifth week of my art discussion sessions with my mother. My mom continued to work on her bird sculpture and I worked to rectify the two darkest canvases. They became slightly surreal - other worlds. See above and below. 

separation state

This week, I also received a concept to explore further in my art. The conditions were right, so the idea felt comfortable enough to let itself be known. A bigger than usual concept, of the sort I haven't had in a long time. I am not quite ready to present it here. But there is something afoot, it's happening now, and it's showing up in my daily life. I hope to be able to explore it a bit more this weekend and roll around with it. Stay tuned.

In other news, I cut my hair even shorter than usual and that was a relief. It always is - the shorter my hair, the more I feel like myself. My street finding energy was strong this week - let's just say, I have a new cool shoe wardrobe and that brings me joy. 

Los Retumbes

Last night, I went to a Fringe gig featuring the Spanish band, Los Retumbes. It was a joy to be able to walk 3 minutes to see 3 bands (The Screamin Kick and The Bad Moods opened) along with my friends and neighbours and all for a good cause, benefiting the community. I had a smile on my face the whole time they played their high energy set. I bought a t-shirt to support the band. They are playing again at Elvis Shakespeare tomorrow (Saturday 9 Aug) at 2:30 (free show) for any locals reading this.

Speaking of other cool Leith Fringe happenings for the locals: Go check out Cyan Clayworks during their Fringe exhibition and open studio. Chris and Fiona are good people, and you need their work and their vision in your lives. They have prints and photos along with their stellar ceramic works for you to enjoy in their gorgeous studio. 

And that's all the news I have for you this week. The world seems impossibly tragic and difficult right now and if you are struggling, you are not alone. What gives me comfort are the various communities I am part of and giving myself permission to find and hold on to joy. Your joy and my joy may not look the same and the jerks of the world hate that - so have more of it. Silence their voices with your kindness, your sparkle, and your open heart. 

Keep fighting and I will too.

The Small Furniture

a collection of weeks

I can't believe it's already Friday (says every older person everywhere). Time slides past at a rapid pace. Why do the first 18 years of life go at a snail's pace and then pick up speed steadily thereafter? Do our developing brains perceive time differently?

Regardless, here I am sitting in my favourite chair by the open window. Today's song endlessly loops on my headphones as I write. A strong matcha over ice in a tall blue handblown glass from Terra Studios in Arkansas will light the fire within. 

I am going to take a page out of my friend Julia's wonderful blog this week, and perhaps just share a few flashes from my week. 

You can see the paintings (above) in progress on my easel from the weekly prompted sessions with my mother. Last Sunday, I didn't have much in me, but I did work on two pieces rather than just one even if it was mostly just painting things black. Progress, not perfection, and all that. 

But I have gotten ahead of myself. On Saturday there was the Stop Trump Rally and demonstrations at various locations across Scotland. I went along with my neighbours and it was good to see so many people out and outraged.

Scots give good signage

On the way home, after the protest, I took a photo of the St. Columba's Charity Shop window as they do a good job of their display. It is always full of colour, pattern, and a sense of nostalgia. I needed and enjoyed the visual relief.

Charity shop vibes

On Monday, I took a bright neighbourhood walk around some of my favourite parts of the Water of Leith. I have been dealing with a random hip injury and haven't been walking quite as much this past month. The sun was bright and lovely and the sky was blue. I went to visit my Scottish friend tree (my original friend tree, was my childhood touchstone back in Arkansas). I was unnerved to find my local tree had been cut back significantly by the council. I hate that it has been disturbed but I also know it was diseased in parts and they seem to be doing a very careful job trimming it. I must have faith that it is being cared for and not that it is about to be destroyed - that would be too much for me to bear. I told it that it was strong and resilient, and to root down and resist if needed. I kissed its knobbly bark and thanked it for its grounding presence in my life. I have two wee branches of it now in my home - I love it so.

water of leith

Scottish friend tree

On Tuesday, I met my pal Julia in the city centre for lunch and a blether. We met on the steps of the National Museum of Scotland on Chambers Street. It was a strange thrill to sit on the big steps and wait for my pal. I have always liked sitting on the sidewalks/pavements and I used to say that anywhere I could do that, I felt at home.

School children waited in a line with their minders to go in and have a big adventure. It brought to mind field trips of my youth, and how exciting it felt to be somewhere new as a group - wild, free, and out of the classroom! 

Waiting on a friend

this must be the place

During our outing, I spied some handmade dollhouse furniture in the window of a charity shop in Morningside. I exclaimed when I saw it and had that instant rush of being pretty sure that I needed it in my life. My palms tingled - the same way they do when I see art that I resonate with - that "got to have it" energy flooded my system, worried someone might beat me to it. But it was doll house furniture... Did I really need it... What would I do with it? Why did I love it so much and what did it really represent?

I took a picture of it in the window and looked at the picture the whole time we were browsing inside. Never one to make a rash decision, we left the shop to look at a few others nearby, but I was distracted, still itchy and worried someone might get it. We walked back up the street and looked in at it one more time, and the tears came. I had to have it. It didn't matter if it didn't make sense; it made sense to me. It represented something important to me - it reminded me of home, my mother, and my brothers. It reminded me of the dollhouses and the furniture that they made together late at night for me after my mom had worked all day. It reminded me of all the love and care that goes into the making. It deserved a good home that would understand and love it the right way. I needed my mother to see it and to know that I was thinking of her.

When I walked in to buy it, the relief was immediate. The shop volunteer called out for an assistant to come and retrieve the pieces from the window. I caught the eye of a man who smiled at me knowingly regarding the handcrafted treasure I would be taking home. I was excited to unveil it to my mother over a video call a couple of hours later. She understood and appreciated it just like I did. It was worth every penny.

On Wednesday and Thursday, I was busily back at work, but rest assured, the small furniture was set up nearby so I could steal glances at it.

I am thankful for the moments of joy and the crashing waves of sadness. I am grateful that I feel big emotions and that I have friends and trees that I can share them with. I am grateful for the family that created me and shaped the things I value.

Here’s to the things that bring us joy and tears. Until next week, keep fighting for all your small furniture moments.