The sun holds nostalgic promise

Sing to me of your life long ago
mixed media on canvas
20x25cm
Megan Chapman

I am facing the wrong way. I close my eyes and smile as the sun illuminates my face. It beams at me fiercely through the back window of the bus, and no one is enjoying it more.

While waiting for this bus I watched the sun on the walls of a building across the street. The sun holds nostalgic promise, I typed into the notes of my phone. I quickly returned to the warm glowing wall and my dreaming. I was somewhere else then, I was riding in a car through a forest by a river. I was in a different country and I was young.

My lungs are sad

I am wearing the worst jeans on the planet. You will never see me in public in these jeans. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I will donate these awful things soon. 

I am recovering from being ill this week. You know what that does to my mind... it runs roughshod over me highlighting every fear, weakness, and every regret and mistake I have ever made. Such a bullshit thing for my brain to do when I am already down.

I watch a replay of World News Tonight with David Muir and then think "well, that wasn't good for my immune system." I turn to social media for a break where I am then sold a million optimisations for my kind of brain alongside celebrity gossip and random shit for the outraged and perimenopausal. 

How's your week going? I painted a picture of my inflamed lungs but you aren't going to see it - just like these fucking hideous jeans... 

I love you. I miss you. 

I remember it all

studio morning

Weathered
Mixed Media on Canvas
10 x 10 cm (3.94 x 3.94 in)
© 2024 Megan Chapman
Sold

The Storm
Mixed Media on Canvas
6.5 x 12.5 cm (2.56 x 4.92 in)
© 2024 Megan Chapman

Fielding
Mixed Media on Canvas
13.99 x 11 cm (5.51 x 4.33 in)
© 2024 Megan Chapman

Departure
Mixed Media on Canvas
15 x 15.5 cm (5.91 x 6.1 in)
© 2024 Megan Chapman

Aground
Mixed Media on Canvas
8.89 x 12.5 cm
© 2024 Megan Chapman

A coldness
Mixed Media on Canvas
12.7 x 12.7 cm (5.0 x 5.0 in)
© 2024 Megan Chapman

This week was pretty full on and I am weary. Until next week, enjoy the September Series and keep fighting.

X.

a strange gift to care

a coldness, mixed media on canvas, 2024 © Megan Chapman

Interpol released a new album at around 6 am my time and I was there listening in the dark of morning. A 54 year old grown-ass woman, transfixed. 

I was transported to my childhood bedroom - where I was again listening to a new record. First side, any repeats? Play those a few more times, get to know them. Then flip it and find a gem or two and then flip it back and listen again. Find the grooves - the patterns and paths inside the music. Get lost in the story of the lyrics on the sleeve, and then the visuals. Usually, I would favour one side over the other and then after a week or so things would come together and I would have a complete picture of the new album. 

Like a detective looking for clues, it was an embodied experience - intense musical frisson. I am grateful to be so completely entranced by sound. 

I have already found my first repeater of the day on Interpol's new album, This Mirror Weighs a Ton. Wounded Soldier plays over and over on my big head phones. The vocal's edge, the lyrics and rhythm pull me along and keep me hooked.

I have written about Interpol and what their music means to me and my art, and how it has shown up in my life throughout the 19 years of this blog. It's a wonderful and strange gift to care so much about this band. 

On this perfect grey and rainy morning, I put sugar in my tea in celebration.

What do these shapes mean

This week saw a return to business as usual after the delightful visit from my neice. I returned to my studio routine and my job. 

I did still manage a bit of fun last weekend. I enjoyed a coffee meet up and some hyper local charity shopping with a pal last Saturday and then on Sunday another pal and I went to see the Phoebe Anna Traquair Murals. We also popped into a few other fringe art offerings, a lovely cafe, and a graveyard - so that's a great time in my book! I have seen the murals several times now but it was a treat to take our time and to really look at them. 

I painted a small painting (above). It is odd but has something I like about it. It doesn't exactly sit in the small series I have been working on but that's okay. 

I also finished a book I picked up in our local charity bookshop while browsing last week. I really enjoyed Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. I see it has been made into a film. I watched the trailer after I finished the book and I am glad I read the book first. I will definitely read more of Ishiguro's work. I am unsure how I missed him all these years - after all he wrote The Remains of the Day. Klara and the Sun is beautiful, moving, and very timely. 

Things cross your path when they are meant to I guess. 

That's all I have for you just now as I have a busy day ahead tomorrow. 

I hope you are well, happy, and inspired wherever you are. And if not, tomorrow is another day. Keep fighting! 

Through the heat waves

I have been living with my door wide open to the outside world. I have been watching the sunlight flash across the walls, bouncing from windows over the road - dancing patterns through the leaves in the trees. It reminds me of the past and of music and films that I have seen. Buttercups grow past my knees in the garden and sway back and forth in the breeze.

I look towards the sun and breathe in comfort. A forgotten melody plays as I dance across the room - a remembered joy returns.

Summer is here and so am I. 

X
 

You bloom in spring

my studio wall for my mother because she likes it

Spring has sprung! The light in the studio has been calling me. Even if I just sit and stare out the window or organise my materials, it's a better day. I love touching all the things - twine, hanging wires, screws, pencils, scissors, and all my various tools. I enjoy putting like with like and lining them up in order. I find it very satisfying. I found an Ikea peg board for £3 at a charity shop recently and was then able to source some 3-D printed hooks on Vinted very affordably that fit it. Good value and making things come together fills me with joy. The studio provides ample opportunity for this.

I hate tape but I have loads of it

This week I went through my painting rack and found at least nine canvases that I have decided no longer work. I asked a fellow painter to look over them as well to make sure I wasn't making any "rash decisions." I wrote that "one canvas might have a Lynchian promise, but many just feel unfinished - like forced thoughts that didn't materialise." I think they are all getting painted over and any photos of them removed from my archive. I haven't painted over anything in years - but now is the time again. Canvases don't grow on trees and I know I can paint something better or perhaps more meaningful than what is there currently.

I have been walking more this week and taking photos while enjoying the flowers and blooming trees. I also planted my garden - carrots, beets, radish, potatoes, onions, scallions, cabbage, broccoli, courgette, and loads of flowers. It's always a bit of an experiment. I don't worry about it much - I just see what works and what doesn't - no stress. Last year I was delighted with my potatoes and spinach. It's always a creative practice in my square foot garden. I'll keep you updated.

Yesterday, I had the unique opportunity of helping a friend and fellow artist deliver his and his partner's work to a prestigious exhibition. I really enjoyed the experience. It reminded me how comfortable I am around art - handling it with care and wanting it to look its best. Seeing all the work being unloaded from crates and packages in the gorgeous gallery space was a thrill and a comfort, and also a lot of work! It's a good feeling to be able to help someone and I got a lot out of it too. The experience reminded me of where I feel I belong and this is helpful so that I can compare it to the experiences where I feel I don't.

Princes street gardens

Later in the day, I met up with another artist and we enjoyed the sunshine in Princes Street Gardens which is bursting with Spring beauty. We had an important and good chat about art and life and made plans for an art adventure next week.

And on this gorgeous day, that's all I have for you. This post has been brought to you by the sun, a homemade blueberry Matcha, and one song on repeat.

Thanks for being here and please keep fighting for comfort and joy, for all.

Rest before the fall

rest before the fall

21 x 15 cm, mixed media on canvas

© 2023 Megan Chapman

Dear Reader,

Did you go to the UK cinema last weekend to see California Schemin'? If not, make plans to go soon. Hopefully this brilliant film will be released in the USA soon as well. Thanks to everyone who has been excited to see my painting in the film. Having your support and enthusiasm means a lot to me and it is so fun to share this experience with you all.

In other news, I had a bit of a full on week - a lot of "go-go-going" without much time in between things which I usually require and prefer. I am glad the week is behind me. It brings a somewhat gross but catchy song from my childhood to mind, and if you click this you will get to experience it too. 

In the few spare moments, I worked on finishing off a wee series of paintings from 2023 that I always liked but hadn't been able to complete. You know - the boring (but somewhat meditative) bits, such as painting the sides of the canvas, signing, dating, titling, and adding the hanging hardware. I decided I needed to photograph them again too as my previous images just weren't up to par.

It's a dark and textured series, a set of six small canvas works that were the offshoot of a larger series painted in that same year. I have a backlog of unfinished projects that I am trying to get sorted in between my other work and my desire for a bit of fun and a lot more rest.

I went back and read one of my early blog posts from 2007 and decided to take my own advice and I am glad I did. I was reminded that little by little the work gets done and action is always where it's at. A lot can be accomplished in 15 minutes and it all adds up. I am feeling good about the progress I have made.

So, that's how you find me, recovering from the week and taking everything 15 minutes at a time. 

holding everything dear

15 x 21 cm mixed media on canvas

© 2023 Megan Chapman

Until next week, keep fighting - the world needs you and the gifts you bring. Thank you for sharing your time with me. 

California Schemin'

In the time it takes
Acrylic on canvas, 46 x 32"
© 2020 Megan Chapman 

Today I had an amazing experience. I got to see one of my paintings on the big screen for the first time! I booked tickets for the first showing on opening day of James McAvoy's acclaimed directorial debut, California Schemin'.

I think I might have exclaimed "Holyyyyyyyyy Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" under my breath to my pal in the darkened cinema. Or maybe it was "Oh My God!!!" when the camera panned and my painting was right in the centre of the scene above the fireplace. This is the penthouse...

Screen grab from California Schemin' Promo
© StudioCanalUK © California Schemin

There it was, just for a few seconds, but a definite presence. My large abstract painting with its bold strokes of pink and black cutting across the canvas - the trappings of success: our Scottish heroes of the film, Silibil N' Brains, had made it big. I was so engrossed in the film that the sight of my painting caught me by surprise even though I'd spotted it in a promo clip on Instagram earlier in the week.

Something I painted is now in a major motion picture by a famous Scottish actor and now director, filmed in Scotland about two talented Scottish rappers from Dundee who adopt American accents to finally get their big break.

What this moment means to me is hard to put into words. As an American artist (now an American Scot) who uprooted my life to come to Scotland with so many unknowns before me, I am extremely proud to have my work be part of this film. I love everything about it.

If you are in the U.K. this weekend, go see California Schemin'! It's a captivating and wild story of talent and fierce determination, and a proud moment for Scottish cinema.

Watching the light

Another place in time

Dear Reader, 

I hope the sun is shining where you are and that you are well and happy. I guess I enjoyed the community so much last week, that I caught the community cold. I have been resting, researching, and doing nothing at all and it has been much needed. I wish I didn't have to get sick or have a migraine for my body and brain to understand how important deep rest is. 

Going forward I must prioritise this. Without rest and self preservation, there is nothing. 

Take care until next week and thank you for being here. 

- Megan 

Celebration, memory, and world building

I will make a new world with your rubbish

It's my Birthday weekend here at the Studio Blog. 

I think I started celebrating last Friday with my "Good Morning" painting as it was a wonderful gift to myself in action and result. I have enjoyed being greeted by my painting each morning since. 

On Tuesday I spent all day in my garden tackling an ancient vine because I was inspired by a piece of discarded fencing that had been catching my eye for months. I had a vision and knew what I needed to do. There is nothing I like more than finding something discarded and creating a new world and home for it. It is the ultimate thrill and mix of creativity and gumption. I ended up reworking my whole garden due to someone's rubbish. Both the day in the studio painting something full of joy for myself out of an "old bastard" of a painting and creating a pot stand out of someone's rubbish are examples of decisive action and world building. Two things that I thrive on and want more of. A great way to celebrate my life and understanding of how I best operate within it. 

Paul Gauguin, Vision of the Sermon (Jacob Wrestling with the Angel), 1888

Continuing on the themes of celebration and world building, I took myself out to the National Gallery of Scotland on a quiet Wednesday morning. I decided to take my time and scan several of the audio descriptions of the works around the gallery. I enjoyed being still and listening to various scholars tell me the hidden insights of the paintings in the collection over my earbuds. It was a luxurious treat to really look at the paintings with new purpose and fresh eyes. 

I especially enjoyed the audio descriptions of the following pieces: 

Leonardo da Vinci, The Madonna of the Yarnwinder, about 1501
Attributed to Grifo di Tancredi, The Death of St Ephraim and Scenes from the Lives of the Hermits, About 1280 - 1290

Diego Velázquez, An Old Woman Cooking Eggs, 1618

Sir Anthony van Dyck, The Lomellini Family, about 1625 - 1627
Vincent van Gogh, Orchard with Apricot Trees in Blossom, Arles, 1888

Paul Gauguin, Vision of the Sermon (Jacob Wrestling with the Angel), 1888

I highly recommend the self-guided audio tours. 

Later that day I was surprised with a lovely art opportunity (more on that later, but it felt like a birthday gift in itself.) 

Dad in the 1970s, Charcoal on cardboard

On Thursday, it was the one year anniversary of my father's death. I listened to Dave Bruebeck. I thought of my father and meditated on our relationship and it felt very meaningful and cathartic. I spent some time looking at photographs and studying his face and decided that I wanted to draw him. It was such a good and meaningful way to spend time together again. The tears and memories flowed. I love and miss you, Dad. 

54

For my birthday on Friday, I had a lovely day out with my dear friend Julia. There was sunshine and a lovely walk up Calton Hill to survey the city, followed by a delightful lunch of tacos. Then we were on the hunt for the best cake with a view which we found. Afterwards, as we walked on, we encountered a street scene featuring a brass band and spontaneous street singers. It really couldn't have been much better.

It was a beautiful day full of friendship, community, and a dash of magic. I went to sleep tired and grateful. 

Thank you for spending time with me as I continue to celebrate. I hope wherever you are that the flowers are blooming and there is music in the air. 

Until next week, keep fighting - the world needs you. 

Paying the light bill for your soul

Flock expansion

Hello Dear Readers, 

When I left you last Friday, I needed to go see a man about some chickens, and that is what I did. I went back to Cyan Clayworks where I picked up my new yellow birds and purchased a beautiful ramen bowl for a friend's birthday. It's a joy to support our local and independent artists and makers. It's always a win in my book.

paintings, brushes, and books 

On Sunday, my pal Julia Laing came over on a super dreich day and helped me move some things. She gets the friendship of the year award. And speaking of Julia, I also purchased some of her new work this week as well.

Check out Julia's latest offerings on her site. Colour is a powerful medicine and Julia brings the colour! I chose "citrus sprinkles" from her new statement brooch collection. Pictured below. There are currently just 5 left...

Get one for yourself 

Julia and I are meeting up tomorrow for the Leith Creative Trail and so I can collect my new brooch! I am also looking forward to seeing what local beauties we will discover as we wander about.

In other news this week - I worked and I charity shopped, therefore I am...(you will notice what is missing again, making my own A R T but don't worry - I am thinking about it in big ways).

Speaking of charity shopping, look at this treasure! I almost passed it by, but I am so glad I didn't, it's my new power ring. It's massive - it's vintage, I love it! 

chonky bling

However, I bought nothing today, except a necessary local bus ticket. I am a frugal person by necessity and design. I will also spend money on things I believe in. I believe in artists and makers. I believe in local businesses. I sure hope you do too. Money exchanged fairly and in alignment with my values gives me a good honest feeling. 

I can be an overthinker and worrier, and I have to research everything. I also deal with decision fatigue, but I have noticed that this rarely happens when it comes to art or second hand goods.

So this is my spiel this week. If you are able to at all (and I know it is hard out there - believe me I know) to carve out a budget for handmade/local/secondhand goods, please do try. It's like paying the light bill for your soul. And the artists/locals/charities can keep working for good and bringing more light.

I will leave you on that bright note and this reminder to take care, keep fighting, and keep lighting the way. I am thankful for you. 

Collection and colour: "Teddy" Sculpture by Christine Pike

And if you are still here and feel like dancing... I am still listening to this on repeat. 

Strangers tell me things

Sunday works in progress: a different ground

 On the way to carboot sale

Brutal Monday evening 

On Friday Leith provides

Anarchy in the everyday

Hello Dear Readers,

With one song on repeat I settle in to write to you. It was also one hell of a week and I am glad it is over. It's Halloween. Tomorrow is November. How is that even possible? Are you sensing a theme? I feel like each week, I write: things are hard, time is moving fast, what the hell... here's some art, here's some photos - cheery bye.

I write a lot in other places, I talk a lot in other places too, and now I am tired and worn out. I feel like The Giving Tree.

But back to the song, the bass vibrates in my ears in a way that I can see it - I shake my head back and forth to the beat. This song has that wonderful industrial metal scraping clang that my brain loves. The bass and guitars are perfection. I don't think there is much better than listening to a song on really good headphones. This one is ticking all the boxes tonight - it is reviving my tired heart.

However, I still can't focus enough right now to talk about art in any meaningful or moving way. Perhaps if I had written this in the morning I could have, but I needed to go out and meet a pal. I sat with the locals on the community benches at the foot of the walk and I purposely breathed in their smoke. I comforted them as they shared their fresh grief with me and was hugged by a stranger.

I love community spaces and I love talking to people. I love making people laugh and I love laughing. I love hearing music from pub speakers and I love knowing that cosy places for folks to meet still exist.

Just another beautiful day in Leith, just another day in my life.

Until next week, try to talk to someone you don't know and try not to worry so much.
We need you and the gifts you bring. Keep fighting.

Conversations and quandaries

Broughton St Mary’s church turret in autumn

Hello Dear Reader, 

Here we are again, another Friday. I hope you are okay. I am not great but at least I am not ill and I haven't had any migraines lately so that is a positive. This week was frustrating and difficult for a multitude of reasons. Even with the beauty of autumn as a backdrop - I am weary. Are we all weary now? Is this just how it is going to be? I sure hope not. 

So let's focus on the beauty and the good parts, that seems to be all I know how to do. I can be struggling and still recognise the wonders of life. 

I went for a walk with my friend Jen on Saturday and introduced her to my favourite local tree. I had been hesitant to go by and visit my scottish friend tree as I was worried it might not be there due to some recent council heavy pruning. Jen kindly accompanied me as I faced that concern and we were both delighted to see its far reaching majesty, albeit very lopsided.  

On Sunday, I met my friend Julia, for a ramble through the city centre and down into Stockbridge. We enjoyed warm drinks and chips while sitting in the window of a crowded cafe. Afterwards we went to a charity shop where I scored a wonderful scarf. We then continued down the road to see the current exhibition, Beneath the Veil at The House of Smalls. This is only the second exhibition I have seen at The House of Smalls and I have been equally impressed and deeply moved each time. If you are in Edinburgh or passing through, I would highly recommend putting this gallery on your list to visit. Amy is a friendly and helpful gallerist and has created a space with an important and commendable ethos.

chai latte with Julia before the exhibition

After meeting up with Julia, there was of course my Sunday session of painting and talking about art with my mom. I worked on the two canvases below. Just adding different washes of paint. Roughing in and wiping away the colours in layers while listening to Brian Eno and drinking tea. Not a bad way to spend some time. I like them pretty well as they are, but may continue to work on them this week. 

work in progress

work in progress

On Monday, the haar rolled in, and it seemed like the perfect time to take a walk and make some photos. I feel fortunate to have this wilderness so close. I know these trees and this patch of land so well and in return I feel known by them. I find so much support and solace in these nearby woods and the paths by the water of Leith. 

As usual, there was work and all the other bits and pieces that make a life - exercise, meditation, meals, conversations and quandaries. I am now sitting on the sofa, listening to one song on repeat and feeling grateful to have shared this Friday ritual once more with you.

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. 

May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. 

May all beings rejoice in the wellbeing of others. 

May all beings live in peace, free from greed and hatred. 

Thank you for being here. Until next week, take care. 

Know your rights

tis the season for tarot

good matcha with friends

painting on a Sunday

and for making a statement

Hello Dear Readers, 

As the captions state, tis the season for tarot, good matcha with friends, painting on a Sunday, and for making a statement. Add in a bit of work, genealogy, a planned walk with a pal tomorrow and a planned meet up with another pal on Sunday and that is where you find me this week. I am a bit tired, careworn, and restless.

Thanks to all you culture warriors for being here and for continuing to fight for goodness and beauty. You rule. 

I will be with the folks back home in spirit tomorrow. Know your rights. 

Return to that important ritual

It's starting to look a lot like autumn

Hello Dear Readers.

The magic google switch must have been toggled off on my blog the last few weeks as my numbers have plummeted and from such great heights. Oh well, I never quite believed them anyway. If you missed last week's post, I shared a fair amount of art - you can see it here. 

The viruses have finally left me and I managed to get out for a few daily walks this past week after not being able to, due to injury and illness. Now the migraines have decided it is their time to shine, so for the past two days I have been dealing with crazy auras, pain, light sensitivity, and muscle spasms. My sleep has been pretty horrible too. I am fed up and feel like crying more often than I'd like. 

My blog has turned into that call you have with your ageing relatives or friends and all they do is tell you about their aches, pains, and various ailments. Tis the season. 

yellow leaves on cobbles

It can't be all bad and it really isn't. The walks in the yellow leaves were enjoyable, and it felt good to return to that important ritual. Two of my other routines that I enjoy that didn't happen for the past two weeks, returned this week - so that was good too. 

I managed to work on two more canvases during the regular "Sunday Sessions" that my mom and I continue to share. I lay the ground work so that they can be finished off this week perhaps. The series continues to build and I am glad of that. 

New work in progress

I also attended an online talk and I returned to an online group that I missed last week as well. And I tried something new that I enjoyed. All of those activities were supportive and helpful. So if it hadn't been for the migraines, this would have been a pretty good "rebuilding" sort of week. 

I watched a great documentary, a show I enjoy, and started rereading one of my favourite series of books as a comfort - all while working, connecting with friends and family and doing all the other tedious things that adults must do. I will consider this week a success, even with the dumb migraines. 

Edinburgh Central Library Board Room Window

Yesterday, I met up with most of the SAU staff team along with our new president, Tamara Rogovic for an in person meeting at the Edinburgh Central Library. I feel very fortunate to work with the fine folks at the union - we are a small and hard working team. It was a productive meeting and so good to spend time with each other again - as it is such a rarity since we all work remotely. 

Are you a member of the Scottish Artists Union? Membership has numerous benefits and it's the members that make the union what it is and what it can be! Join us!

Jenni's October 2025 design on the wall behind the envelope containing the 2026 edition! 

To round out the week, when I got home from the meeting, there was sunshine in an envelope waiting for me! The 2026 Jenni Douglas Calendar has arrived! I am not a fan of the years zipping by, but if they have to - I am going to mark it with Jenni's gorgeous and colourful designs. This year she has two calendar designs to choose from - Scots Creatures or Art. You can get one for yourself here.

That's all I have for you this week. I hope you are doing okay. Thanks for being here. When I sat down to write this, I wasn't feeling too great in my body, mind, or spirit. However, writing this has given me some much needed clarity. There was a lot of good this week, even with the pain and frustration.

Ever onward with grace, acceptance, plenty of rest, and deep breaths. 

Please keep fighting - we need you, and we need each other. You are part of the good.