I started writing a post for this blog in the middle of the day. I wrote for hours about quite a lot and then I decided it wasn't ready for public consumption so I filed it away as a draft. I then wandered around my studio looking at old files, journals, papers and I read my own words from 10 or more years ago. I was searching, always searching for something and always feeling like I could improve or do better or make it work, whatever it was. I was also always escaping into my journals, into my music, into my art trying to be someone else and it was exhausting. Or at least it was exhausting to read it today.
I have come to an examination phase of things once again but it is different now. I am not escaping and haven't been for quite a while. I like who I am and what I have become and how I live my life and I wake up excited almost everyday.
I see new bodies of work in my mind, yet I do not make them. What is that about? What is holding me back? I have produced twenty-two pieces of art in the new year (this is apparently not enough). I have had one solo show and been in two international group exhibitions. Some of my work is about to be published in an online journal from YALE. I have sold small works on Etsy, sold works from my home studio and received some commissions and have future prospects. I am also about to create a series of workshops. So, what is going on...
I think this is just a mighty incubation phase. I can see the work and I can feel it around me. This is that nervous, slightly maddening phase and one day very soon.... it will pour. This is the time to look for the evidence.
And I think I just found it by writing this. Thank you.
PS. I am now offering a selection of some of my older color works from 2008's Evidence of the Disappearance series as archival reproductions over on Society6.