Two years later with a dash of rage

You think you've had two years (this weekend) to go inside yourself and listen deeply to your wants and needs and to create a new personal mission statement for the way you want to live on this planet. 

But you didn't. 

How could any of us think like that while the world is on fire and there are so many loud voices coming at us from all sides? Did some listicle shame you and the way you coped? So many voices telling us to get clear on our goals, get fit, get organised, go deep, make your mark, leave what no longer serves, get angry, fight the power, and save the planet. All the while fighting for social and economic justice, raising a good family or loving the one you're with while staying informed on politics, world news, and what's trending. Clap for carers and front line workers, bargain shop, and mind how long you leave the lights on and did you mourn in an acceptable way across your socials, did you virtue signal or just support the right causes? 

How the fuck are we supposed to do all of this while being beautiful, creative, talented, well-read, well-travelled, and well-loved. And of course, let's not forget the people who didn't skip a beat, you just got on with it, kept calm and carried on and "fuck it, this is my one life when it's time, it's time..."

The pandemic is not over, war rages in many places that we are not paying attention to today, and of course on our poor mother earth. Politicians are chipping away at our democracy while stealing from the poor and we know that straight white males are the only ones that had a fair shake anyway, so why the fuck are they so angry? 

And yet, I need to paint a painting? I need to stay relevant, make a sale, go to an exhibition, say something beautiful, add a bit of joy to the world or express my rage in painterly form? Hmm. I am not so sure about that.

To lean away from a black hole

Accidental Portrait Number 14

Mixed media drawing 20x16" 

on heavyweight 250gsm paper

I am always a bit hesitant to share my "accidental portraits" as they are a sideline expression and one that I have less confidence in so I will always feel more vulnerability towards showing them. This piece, as it is topical, I didn't want to be careless with it. I didn't start out to draw a person with a mask, but it showed up of course since this is our collective consciousness right now. I started this piece last Thursday but it wasn't quite right so I scrubbed it down and turned it away from me and it bothered me all weekend. On Monday morning I returned to it with a bit of a calmer mind and tried to resolve it. I shared it with two trusted souls privately before I shared it publicly. It is a moment in time that I decided needed to be. 

I recorded my Tuesday Studio Video Visit about the piece as well. If you missed it on Facebook, you can see it here. 

On Wednesday, I attended an online meeting hosted by Scottish Artists Union featuring Amanda Catto, Head of Visual Arts at Creative Scotland who was there to listen to member concerns and provide more information on changes to the Open Fund. It was very helpful to have direct access like this and learn more. It was a really informative and enjoyable meeting. I would encourage all union members to tune into future Wednesday meetings as there will be many more in the series. If you are not yet a member, consider joining.

On Thursday, I shared my Ko-Fi Fundraising page to highlight the fact that I am trying to create some additional funding for myself during these strange days.

As you know, I am paying for a studio I am currently unable to use during the COVID-19 crisis. The galleries I have work in are currently closed and exhibitions are canceled (except online!!). I am selling bits and pieces online here and there (THANK YOU, PATRONS) but your additional support of £3 could really help fill in the gaps. I have offered some images available for download in exchange for your support. Thank you! I have set a goal to raise 1 month's studio rent to start. It's about buying time to work without worry. Imagine what would be freely created in our society if we didn't have this strain? Thank you. https://ko-fi.com/meganchapman 

As I am writing this blog, I can gratefully report that 98% of my goal of one month of my studio rent was raised by your generosity! Thank you! I have applied for some additional arts funding as well, so hopefully, I will receive some relief in that form as well, but every little bit helps especially as I wait to be notified. 

With my spirits boosted, I was able to return to a painting I had started last week and I was able to finish it last night. I am really excited. I love painting on paper and I am enjoying working with pastels and more traditional drawing materials during this time. This process has created a spark in my work. 

To lean away from a black hole

mixed media

A3 size/11.7x16.5”

150gm acid-free smooth cartridge paper

Until next week, take good care, and thank you.

Support these galleries. 
Velvet Easel 
Solo Gallery
Irving Gallery (instalment plans available and a 15% discount with code until May 25th)