Centre of it all

I can't quite believe it is already Friday. Thanks to everyone who read last week's studio blog and especially to those who clicked on all the artist links I shared. The joy of my week seemed to resonate and inspire others and that is always a delightful thing. 

This week was also a good one! On Saturday, I got word from Kate, the incredible gallerist at Solo Gallery in Innerleithen that a painting had sold! I was overjoyed at the news. Kate still has a selection of 5 of my paintings that are available to purchase. You can go see them in person at the gallery in the beautiful Scottish Borders or you can buy them online. Click HERE.

Where we say goodbye
mixed media on canvas
40x40cm
Sold

On Sunday, I visited my dear friend Karl Macrae - He’s Sew Happy at his stall at the Craft & Flea in the Assembly Rooms in the city centre. It was a lovely show for Karl in a beautiful venue. I also enjoyed seeing what all the other artists had on show and for sale. I treated myself to a wee vase by Claremont Ceramics and had a nice chat with Quay Tran about his collaborative pieces (like the one I bought) with a painter that goes by the last name of Champagne. 

This is what happens when someone supports my art. I am able to buy a ticket to go to an art event and then I am able to support another artist as well as support myself - the money stays in the community. Where does the money go when we support a big box store? 

Miniature Vase by Claremont & Champagne
pencil for scale

On Tuesday I had another lovely chat with my friend and fellow artist Jennifer Libby Fay and then later for the Tuesday Studio Video Visit, I made a little promo video for my work.

Also on Tuesday, I shared my February playlist with my ko-fi supporters from the past 30 days and created my wall of fame. I am so thankful to these folks who support me regularly. Consider joining them! 

Each month I make an unlisted playlist of 13 songs as a thank you
to anyone who supports me during the month.
I started making my supporter's playlists in October of 2021. Get yours today. 

These fine folks have either supported me regularly by making a one-off contribution or bought something from my shop during the month of January. Thank you!! 

On Wednesday, I enjoyed the third two-hour session of "Art, Work and Power," presented by the Scottish Artists Union. Another great course, leaving me with lots to think about and always more to learn. Again, I ask - have you joined your union? 

On Thursday, I went to go visit Karl - again!? He is visiting from the west just now so I am trying to make the most of his time here. It was great to talk about art and life over huge mugs of tea in Leith. Always does the soul good to talk it all out. Thursday night called for another thought-provoking union teaching, the fourth two-hour session of "Art, Work and Power," presented by the Scottish Artists Union. We have the final 2-hour session of the course on Saturday. It's been great to spend time learning and thinking again about the bigger picture with my peers in the union.

And here we are, It's Friday! The sun is out and I have daffodils blooming on my shelf. Spring is getting closer every day.

I want to say something about our first minister Nicola Sturgeon and her resignation this week. I cried. I just put my head down on a table and sobbed. Since I am originally from the states, Nicola has been my Madam President. I moved here six days after the referendum vote in September 2014. She became the first minister that November. She has been the leader I have followed and learned to trust and respect. When I was an immigrant without citizenship, she made me feel like I had a place here and that I could call Scotland home and mean it. I could even call myself a Scot. For the duration of the pandemic, I was grateful for her voice of reason and care. I looked to her for guidance, and if she told me to stay home, I did. She is barely 2 years older than me - the age of my peer group. This made her even more of a hero to me. I found her honest, relatable and sincere. She talked about menopause, called herself a feminist while speaking at the podium, and was assertive and sharp - she didn't suffer fools. She is an ally as she stands up for women and the marginalised. I have deep respect and admiration for Nicola Sturgeon and all she has achieved for Scotland. I will be sad to see her go. I am proud that I became a citizen and lived these last 8-plus years in a country guided under her leadership, and I am not even an SNP member. I can't wait to see what she does next and hope that Scotland can find a good enough leader to fill her shoes.

I took this photo of Nicola in 2019 at the Out of the Blue Drill Hall, where my studio is based. Here she is at the centre of it all, smiling. Thank you, Nicola. 

Until next week, take care and keep fighting. The world needs you, your voice, and your passion. Thank you. 

Finding my anchor

Revisiting a group of large paintings that I started in January. There are five of them, the beginnings of a series I left abandoned for the past 3 months. I am drawn to this one and think I will use it as the anchor for the series.

I am collecting information. I am researching and gathering raw materials in the form of cultural excavation. I am in the building phase, or really the rebuilding phase.

I am re-learning. I am reading, I am listening and I am watching.

I am reframing and looking back to move forward. Taking strength and power from those who have come before and finding support through their words and creations.

More on that later.

In the studio on Tuesday, I talked about a few milestones. My Tuesday Studio Video Visit turned two last month! This blog turned twelve and my "Books" series will be twenty at the end of this month. If you don't follow my art page on Facebook you can catch it again here. I am in the process of transferring my Tuesday Studio Video Visits to YouTube so that more people can access them and for a future project I have planned.

Okay back to later...

I am purposely filling my head with the ideas and cultural offerings of women. My head has already been filled by the ideas and work of men by default. I know what you are thinking, don't make me say some of my best friends are men...(they are). Of course, my head has been filled with many amazing offerings created by men and will continue to be, but at the same time, many of these offerings don't always reflect me and my life and nor perhaps should they. Their gaze is searching from and creating through a system that has been made for them. Hand built by them, for them, and how wonderful and empowering that must be, but perhaps also crippling at times. See how I have to keep softening everything I write as to not offend. I am so tired of doing that but I feel I must keep doing it to stay safe in this hand-built world, not of my design.

In art school, I was praised for painting like a man. I proudly took the "compliment" as I understood that it meant my work was strong, bold and good and not weak or easy. Sorry, sisters. I was deeply assimilated into the patriarchy to get along without even knowing.

As a teen, I liked to think I was "one of the guys" (not like the "other" girls). I could drink and smoke with the boys, sometimes teetering on the edge of dangerous explorations. I could curse a blue streak and smash it up with the rest of them. I would be upfront in the crush of the pit at gigs or right in front of the speakers (cause I thought I was tough and could take it), I would listen to the music you liked and I'd like it too (of course). When I saw Black Flag at the age of 14, I purposely picked out the Pettibon designed T-shirt that said "I've been good too long" and proudly wore it to Jr. High the next day. I never felt like I was a "good" girl/woman. In my youth, I was boy crazy as I looked to them for approval, adoration, and information. I wanted what they had; that strength, charisma, power, and mostly that freedom. What appeared on the surface, as a lack of fear.

I went through periods of my life where I messed up my female friendships to run after or just run with the boys. Or I just didn't give the girls and women in my life enough time or attention. Again, sorry sisters. Thankfully, as I grew up, I came to my senses and have many long-lasting, wonderful and true friendships with women all over the world. These women have been my teachers, mentors, confidants and fellow hell-raisers. These women have strength, charisma, power, and freedom too. Many of them had to learn to live with and triumph over their fears and rise above every day in this world that wasn't built for or by them. These women are revolutionaries, my heroines, and luckily my cohorts.

What does all of this have to do with my work? Every fucking thing.

We can't be what we can't see. Right now I am seeing women being brutally raw and honest. I am seeing women create masterpieces of art and literature, I am seeing the female gaze in the films they make, the roles they take and the songs they sing. I see the truth of my being reflected back. What the hell is a "good" woman anyway and why would I ever want to be one?

Until next week, keep fighting. 

You can’t be what you can’t see

“I agree with activist Marian Wright Edelman, ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’ so it’s extremely important for women to be seen being artists as well as supporting each other in the process.” Here I am in the studio today, with a new shipment of canvases. 

Be seen being an artist.

Be seen working. 

Be seen taking up space. 

Be seen in your power. 

Be seen being brave. 

Be seen being assertive. 

Be seen making a mess of things. 

Be seen making something beautiful, wretched, or scary. 

Be seen contradicting yourself. 

Be seen screaming. 

Be seen trying something new and failing. 

Be seen crying and vulnerable. 

Be seen being ugly. 

Be seen being your most beautiful human self. 

Be seen loving the planet. 

Be seen loving strangers. 
Be seen loving animals.

Be seen meditating. 

Be seen doing yoga. 

Be seen dancing wildly.

Be seen getting it wrong.

Be seen getting it right.

Be seen caring about yourself. 

Be seen loving all those who come into contact with you. 

Be seen cheering someone on. 

Be seen making a difference. 

Be seen laughing like mad. 

Be seen making your own personal history. 

Be seen on the edge of your comfort zone. 

Be seen being strong. 

Be seen being weak. 

Be seen making a mistake. 
Be seen trying again.
Be seen changing your mind.
Be seen reclaiming your time. 

Be seen reclaiming your space.

Be seen asking for what you want. 

Be seen asking for what you need. 

Be seen being sure of your opinions. 

Be seen embracing all your quirks. 

Be seen with your brushes, canvases, and paint splattered shoes. 

Be seen with your tools of the trade whatever they may be.
Be seen with your economy of line and your wild intuition. 

Do not get small, do not fade away, do not give up... we need you here. In you, I see myself and together we are stronger. 

Thank you.