I am not the artist I used to be

I am not the artist I used to be. 

I could be distressed by this (and I am a little) or I could be excited. 

The second one seems like the better option. 

I don't play the game as well as I used to and I always required a lot of help to play it at all. 

I have been beaten down and worn out by it and I got confused. 

I deviated from my original purpose.

I make art to express myself to myself and to understand the world and my place in it. 

I make art because I am good at it and it feels good to be good at something.

I make art because it gives me a purpose and helps me make sense of my brain.

I make art because I don't always understand the world or myself and it helps me to feel better. 

I make art to hide within and to stand strong beside. 

I make art because it is something I know how to do better than almost anything else. 

I don't always stick to a routine or a schedule and I judge myself for this but less and less.

I know my natural rhythm is a trickle or a deluge. 

I know I am rebellious against the routines I love the most. 

I know I can have a hard time with record keeping, documenting, archiving, and consistently sharing my work as well as presenting it for sale. Probably because I am a painter and could use more support in these areas - but I am done judging myself for this and I am proud of doing it as well as I have.

I don't love all art, some art really pisses me off and I wish it would go away. 

I have made 1000 choices in order to live the way I do, to protect my art, my brain, my being. Some of these were hard and some of my choices were not so good, or easily understood, but I am still here. 

I still need people to view, enjoy, and support my art - I don't want to work in a vacuum and community engagement is extremely important to me.

Financial support of my art is crucial. I'm not independently wealthy and I can live a pretty precarious existence that is at times stressful and scary. 

If you want to see me in my flow state, ask me to talk about art. When I don't have the chance to do this (and I haven't really in years) I feel like a part of myself is missing.

Art has given me so much in terms of community, love, support, joy, and excitement. I have sacrificed a lot for art in exchange. I wouldn't change it. 

I have cried over and regretted this calling.

I still wouldn't change it. I can't.

When art returns to me after being away there is no better feeling.

To be certain of my place in the lineage feels like coming home. 

I am not the artist I used to be.

So let's see what happens next...

Keep fighting. 

Ask questions, raise hell, and look ugly doing it.

Well, last week's post went down a storm. Thank you to all who read it here on my blog and across my social media channels. It was good to hear from so many of you who felt the same way. It was illuminating in who and in how folks responded. And it made me realise a few things. 

The artists who are worried about adding to the glut, really don't need to be. Because you are not. It is just like us to think that we are though, but again - we are not. Do not make more space for the glut fillers by removing yourself and your skilled and thoughtful work.

Do not disappear. Plant your feet, broaden your shoulders and link up. Find each other, protect your art, and advocate for yourself and your true peers.  

T A K E. 

U P. 

S P A C E.

Be raw, unfinished, dirty, and sick. Ask questions, raise hell, and look ugly doing it. 

This isn't a vanity project, this is our fucking life. This is our art - an extension of ourselves. This isn't a choice. This is blood. 

We don't do it for the bots, or the bloated likes and follows, we have no choice. 

So let's not pretend that we could ever fit into an algorithm.

Show up like we did before the world's stage was in everyone's back pocket. 

Find your true kin and give them your time and attention. Find yourself.

Your work is too good to doubt or to hide. Show them how it is done - your way. 

See you there.

The community I crave

So, I took my list of wants (my wee manifesto if you will), turned to the Internet and invited a few professional abstract painters to see if they would like to join me in creating a private online forum. I was pleased with the swift response. We now have a group of about 30 members. I am excited to see where the group goes and what issues we will tackle together. If the community you want is not currently available you just have to make it yourself. 

This is from a post I shared over there to get even more clear on my intent for the group.  

"When I put out the call across social media to start this group, I wasn't just wanting to talk about "how to make it as an artist or how to sell paintings." There are loads of marketing schemes and "how to's" already online. There are plenty of templates readily available and articles to read and resources at our fingertips. I am grateful for those and I am glad we can group some of those resources here for folks to easily find. I also know we need money and that artists are often exploited (or we exploit ourselves) because of this need. Exchanging information about this is vital.

However, what I really crave is the conversation about painting, about being an artist, about how we see the world and how we are received in the world. The sound it makes as the charcoal hits the paper or canvas. The way your favourite colour makes your heart sing, the way you may feel misunderstood by your family, friends or society in general. Or how you were born to be an artist, standing rooted and supported by centuries of artists behind you. Or how this calling takes us and can rewire our brains and guide us forward to new places, relationships, and communities. Yes, I need money - believe me I do. But I also want to share the passion I feel for painting, for art. I refuse to turn this into just another job or career. It is not.

I do want to come together and talk about what we are working on. What we are exploring, what we are obsessed with, where it is taking us and then our fears, doubts, and joys as we follow the work and then of course what to do with it all..."

So dear reader, if you are an artist reading this blog, I encourage you to comment on it and share something going on in your personal art world. We are always stronger together. We can learn and grow from each other. Yes, we need isolation to make our work but we don't have to stay isolated and we don't need to create in a vacuum. In the coming year creating the community I crave is going to be my priority (along with continuing to figure how to support myself as a painter). I am grateful to all of my blog readers, patrons, gallery owners, family, friends, and others who have supported my work and my life as a painter over the years. You have given me so much to think about and explore and your support has bought me this precious time. Thank you.

******

You can find my work at the following galleries and websites.

The Velvet Easel Gallery

Portobello, Edinburgh

Scotland

You can catch my work in the Of Night and Light Exhibition until the 1st of March 2020.

Dancing Light Gallery

Edinburgh

Scotland

You can catch my work in the Winter Warmth Exhibition until the 29th January 2020.

Fenix Gallery

Fayetteville, Arkansas, USA

Ask to see my available small works and limited edition prints

Small works shop: 

https://meganchapmanart.wixsite.com/shop

On all your favourite channels!

Web: www.meganchapman.com

IG: instagram.com/ethermaven

FB: facebook.com/megan.chapman.artist

Twitter: twitter.com/ethermaven

And of course, at my studio G23, located at 36 Dalmeny Street Leith, Edinburgh EH6 8RG, I will gladly open by appointment. 

Walls too crowded, budget tight? You can still support my work. Click the link to buy me a coffee. Consider becoming a monthly supporter for exclusive content. Thanks! Support Me on Ko-fi 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! 

2020 is here and so are you. Thank you. What will this new year bring? I have no idea but here's what I would like.

I want a community of peers. I want to visit studios and talk shite and laugh with other painters. I want to be challenged and inspired. I want a unified voice that is supportive and even demanding. A group of artists that hold each other to a high standard without being mean bastards. I want places to show work and I want to connect with a public that understands the importance of art and is excited by abstraction in particular. I would like to get paid fairly for the work I do. I want to live in a society that values what I have dedicated my life to. I have no interest in alienating the general public or making art seem any more important than what it is. I would like to cut through the bullshit of the art world and make art more accessible so that artists can fulfill their purpose and so that the general public can let down their guard and feel the work that is created.

I want to create more community and opportunities around the studio I work in and I want to connect the dots with some of the abstract artists I have become familiar with across the UK. Let's see what happens. 

Thank you for being on this path with me. I wish you all the best in the coming year. 

- Megan 

You can find my work at the following galleries and websites.

The Velvet Easel Gallery

Portobello, Edinburgh

Scotland

You can catch my work in the Of Night and Light Exhibition until 1st of March 2020.

Dancing Light Gallery

Edinburgh

Scotland

You can catch my work in the Winter Warmth Exhibition until 29th January 2020.

Fenix Gallery

Fayetteville, Arkansas, USA

Ask to see my available small works and limited edition prints

Small Works Shop

You can find my small to medium works for sale online.

On all your favourite channels!

Web: www.meganchapman.com

IG: instagram.com/ethermaven

FB: facebook.com/megan.chapman.artist

Twitter: twitter.com/ethermaven

And of course, at my studio G23, located at 36 Dalmeny Street Leith, Edinburgh EH6 8RG, I will gladly open by appointment. Message me online through my contact form through my website or online shop.

Walls too crowded, budget tight? You can still support my work. Click the link to buy me a coffee, a tip of £3 for the content I share. Or consider becoming a monthly supporter for exclusive content. Thanks! Support Me on Ko-fi