Definition of success

Studio photo by Eve Smith

My definition of success:

Be able to stay free enough in mind, body, and soul to make the work. 

Have a space to make the work in which you can be free in mind, body, and soul so that you don't think about the wall, the floor, the carpet, the extension of your arm, and the paint that drips from that self-expression. 

Have a space to share this work with others.

Have some sort of roof over your head, some sort of clothes on your back, some sort of food in your belly, maintain this basic standard of living. 

Have some sort of family, friends, community, or group of peers that understand you and that speaks a shared language. 

Have love in your life, feel seen, understood, and supported. See, understand, and support others. 

Have a tabby cat.

Laugh, dance, listen to music, be in nature, feel alive, and find beautiful places to walk and explore.

Enjoy and support all forms of culture.

Share all of this with others.

Storms of thought

The distance
Mixed media on canvas, 40x50x4cm
© 2019 Megan Chapman
£725

Awake early this grey Friday morning in July, I am waiting for the fruit and veg man to come by with his bounty. I have already been outside with my cup of tea to listen to the wind chimes and the bumblebee enjoy the poppies. My bare feet on the cracked and moss-covered concrete of the patio - I love being able to walk out the kitchen door and be on the ground. 

I drew a couple of things this week - nothing that great. 

I have mostly been returning to walking. Twenty-nine miles since Sunday. Walking helps me remember the point of it all. The shock of green, the big trees, the places my own two feet can take me, the simple dedication of putting one foot in front of the other. Space and time to think, dream, and hope. The world is a mess but the flowers are still here, the trees are ancient, the paths are old and well-traveled. The sky is either blue, grey, or fluffy with clouds, the water of the Firth of Forth is here too, and the winds are wild. 

I move through all of this. Fields of wildflowers, paths of ivy, the sunlight through the broad tree leaves. The wind whipping around my ears, the rain on my cheeks, the sun in my eyes, the shadows on the pavements, and glints of sun across the water wrap me up in their wilderness. 

Did you know that in Scotland:

81% of artists are self-employed
50% are full-time practitioners
73% work from home
83% earn less than £10k per year
80% believe they will earn the same or less next year
59% have never received public funding
88% do not get contracts consistently
61% receive less than the industry standard rates of pay
only 11% state regularly receiving the industry standard rate of pay
75% seldom or never receive a fee for exhibitions
53% of artists do not believe the sector is healthy and viable for their practice

These stats are from the Scottish Artists Union. If you are an eligible artist in Scotland please join your union so that we can work together to improve our working conditions.

This week I attended a meeting on Finance and Benefits for Artists and then later on the same day I attended a meeting on Universal Basic Income and the Future of Work. Both of these meetings were depressing as hell just like the stats above. 

And I don't know what to do about it. Except to encourage folks to join their union (whatever their field) and to learn more about and campaign for a universal basic income (a truly universal basic income for all and one that is not means-tested).

I am having a hard time talking and not crying these days. I find everything just a bit too much. It seems we are at each other's throats and everything is being politicised within an inch of its life. Within an inch of our lives. Human beings aren't looking too smart or empathetic and I am tired of it. And I don't know what to do about it except to sweep my own side of the street while still trying to maintain my empathy. Even I fail at this.

Our leaders aren't looking too smart either and I would like to shift the blame solely to them but we did (mostly) put them there and we have the ability to be decent and kind in our own lives and we are failing miserably at this. I know this is an art blog. 

And I have so much I would like to say about art but it gets caught in my throat and turns into tears rolling down my cheeks. For something held up in high regard and something that makes some people tremendous amounts of money and brings society joy and at times acts as a mirror for deeper understanding - as a practicing artist, I am at times left feeling bereft.

Being an artist has been the hardest thing I have ever done. It is something that I question every day. I feel guilt, shame, and fear at times because I live this life. I hate this. I hate that I feel this way and yet I also know that I have barely scratched the surface of the deep vein of art I have within me that I would like to create. Part of me still thinks I took the easy way out, and that art is a good way to hide from the world while looking busy. But, would I really still be doing it with this much dedication and for so long if it is all just a ruse to avoid the responsibilities of living in our society? I don't know for sure but I don't think so. I think this is more likely how society makes artists feel unless they are financially and materially successful (successful on their terms, not ours). 

I am not an Instagram influencer. I am not selling a happy tale of painting in a glowing room while looking like a model. I am not here to tell you how to sell better or more. I want to be here to show you my vision and expression of that and see if maybe you can find yourself in the work too or take the work and make it your own in your mind. 

In my mind being a painter has always been a solitary act of discovery and perhaps defiance. It wasn't supposed to be about money or making it big. I wanted it to be about a collection of souls sharing and talking about their work, giving each other honest and reliable feedback, and pushing each other to work fearlessly with integrity. Pushing boundaries for a better understanding of themselves and then perhaps society as a whole. 

I want to have exhibitions so that people can see the evolution of the work and the development of a series and how it pulls the viewer along from piece to piece like a song. It wasn't supposed to be about a piece here and there torn apart and standing all alone and out of context. I mean, of course, a good strong painting can do that, but can they sing their true song (can you even hear it) when it is rammed up against another work by another artist that is screaming another tune? 

Maybe it's all built on myth (I am not sure where this statement came from- probably the myth of being an artist, the myth of work, the myth of success, and societal validation).

I took a break from writing this (and took a long walk) as the tone of this post was becoming dour and I thought perhaps I should delete, correct course, or write something different. But I will let it stand. As you can see there are different storms of thought rolling in like clouds. I should also clarify this post is mostly fueled by this week's events and that after learning about the benefits system (what a shambles - I would not participate in that at all costs if I could possibly avoid it) and sorting out my US and UK taxes in the same week, it leaves me in a bit of a funk. It always does. Pitting the creating and selling of art against the government measuring stick of viability is a sure way to make one doubt everything. 

And that is why it is important to walk, important to keep our feet on the ground and to be in nature. Nature is our true leader. Nature would probably like us to be even less successful. Nature says listen to my leaves in the wind and stop being so bourgeois. 

I think it is also saying, honey, get your arse to the studio. 

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Success: What is it?

Are you a success? Am I? How do we know if we are or not? Should it matter? What does success mean anyway? There is the textbook definition, but then there is what it means to us personally. Our personal success can be loosely defined, a floating feeling or it can be measurable and marked by certain milestones. As we work through our art and grow into our process, our personal ideas of success will hopefully change and grow just as our work evolves over time.

Is success about money, acclaim, a studio downtown, or is it about leaving our mark in the hearts of people who come across our work? Is success quitting the day job and painting full time?

Success for some, could be as simple as believing in themselves enough to not flinch when they tell people they are an artist. Success is so personal and abstract, yet at the same time we may tell ourselves stories about what it should mean, making it rigid and unattainable.

When I was much younger, I thought success was to have a simple life of my own creation, free of complications, while being able to see as much live music as possible and just being happy or just having fun. A very loose definition. Then as an art student, it became about getting good critiques and respect from peers and professors, and an occasional showing of my work with no expectation of sales. After school, success became about getting into juried shows, getting more exhibitions on my resume, and finally taking a risk and deciding to quit my job to focus on my art. The focus still wasn't on selling, but on building my body of work, name recognition, and additional lines on the resume. After a couple of years, naturally the next step was the gallery route, this is where my personal definition of success got fuzzy. Success here becomes more rigidly defined as I entered into business relationships with various galleries, this brought on an all new set of rules, expectations, demands, and of course pressures to sell, to have a viable product. This wasn't necessarily created by the galleries, but by myself within the gallery structure. I experienced a heightened sense of being a professional and being responsible not only for myself, but to the galleries taking a chance on me and my work. 

It has been suggested at times, that I might want to re-evaluate my personal definition of success, so that I can gauge my progress and celebrate my milestones along the way. However, I find myself a bit stumped. I have at times, lost sight of what my original purpose was, or what I truly desired when I first started showing my work. Not uncommon, I fear it happens to us all. 

Is success a certain number of paintings created in a month or a year, or a certain number sold in that same time period? Is it earning a specific yearly dollar amount? Is it painting consistently even if only a few times a week? Is it being picked up by a major NYC gallery, having a solo show and selling out on opening night? Is it being on the cover of an international art magazine? Perhaps it is simply having lots of adoring MySpace fans from all over the world. I don't really know the answer. 

So, I am asking- what is success for you? 

Please share your ideas with me in the comment section.

For more information about me and my work and the galleries that represent me, please visit my website www.meganchapman.com 

For my affordable small works on paper please visit www.artmaven.etsy.com

Pictured above

Hover Like Ghosts

Mixed Media on Canvas

40x30" $1,200

Megan Chapman 2008

Currently on display at the River Market ArtSpace

Little Rock, Arkansas