Trying to make my way back

The puzzle says "seek magic every day." I do. 

Hello, lovely studio blog readers. 

I hope you are well. Today I am going to try to make my way back to you. If you have been following this blog for quite some time you will know that it is a fundamental element of my art practice and how I share information and my process with my patrons, fellow artists, and art lovers. I have a substantial gap in my posts currently. I don't like that so my one task today is to slowly fill in some of the gaps, starting with the most recent and working backwards. This break was necessary for a multitude of reasons but the longer the break, the harder it is to return. This has happened with my blog, my video visits, and all my regular postings on social media as well as the most important thing of all, creating the art. 

Not making art is a complex issue - if I don't make art, what do I have to say or share here on the studio blog, what do I have to make my Tuesday Studio Video Visits about? What do I have to share on my social media accounts? The answer is actually plenty. There are loads of paintings you probably haven't seen or you have forgotten about. I could write more in-depth about them or make more videos about those pieces and the process involved in making them. 

However, social media and internalised capitalism are a sick mix - we have this urgency to stay current, fresh, relevant, and to churn out shite just to have something to post and share. I don't know about you, but I didn't "get into" art to become a machine. Paintings take time, bodies of work and the exploration of themes take time to flesh out - not everything is made for the "wham, bam, click, heart, scroll" world of today. 

However, I also know that as someone who has called myself an artist for half of my life on this planet, I need to do the work. I have been compelled and called to do the work and then that calling went a bit quiet and now I am going to have to coax it back out onto the playing field. 

This is going to require faith, optimism, hard work, and time in the studio. It is going to require finding something inside myself that became fearful, sad, uneasy or more honestly, pissed off. I will need to work to steady all of this to create again. 

So, here I go - filling one gap, writing one post, and expressing a few thoughts. Finding my way back. 

I hope you are well, happy, and inspired and if not, tomorrow is another day. Keep fighting and thank you for being here. 

It's all the rage...

Another place and time, Another palette

There are two things that have sat me down to write this blog today on the actual day that my blog is supposed to hit the virtual news stand. The first, is the new Interpol song on repeat (more on that later) and the promise to myself that I get an iced-chai soy latte once I have written this post.

In other news, I have a heart monitor on my chest for the next 48hrs. It should be a metaphor for something. No worries, instead it's just a test.

So back to Interpol. If you have been a long time reader of this blog you will know that the band was a muse, a talisman, a curvy path to a type of renewed youth as well as marking the beginning of the end to my past life. They inspired a hope, a fever, a desire, a sense of place and many paintings and a star struck love that saw me through the dark times. I owe whole series of paintings to the band.

In September they will be releasing a new album entitled, "El Pintor,"an anagram! As always Interpol fits like an old shoe. Like many fans will say, the first two albums are the best and I go along for the ride and mine for gems on the last two. The third album afforded me the luxury of seeing them three times and while they were supporting their last album, I saw them once. Perhaps the next time I see them will be in Scotland in support of their fifth. They are artists; they evolve and change and I watch and appreciate as a fan does.

Why am I going on about this band yet again in my blog and not talking about painting and art?

1. All my energy is going towards surviving right now and my head space hasn't really been in the zone for art making. Maslow's hierarchy of needs stuff.

2. I am hoping the band is still my good luck charm.

Do I get my latte yet?

Here we go again...

The weeks are flying by and here it is another Friday and another studio blog. Hm.. What have I been up to this week in the studio? I have been finishing up the commission. I have been thinking, and looking at my art. I have been organizing and promoting events for the underground studios where I work and I have been having meetings. Today I talked to some young children on a tour of our studios.

So, sadly there has not been too much time for paintings or for letting concepts jell for my future work. What have I been doing outside of the studio? I have been in the park early in the morning to watch the sun cast shadows across the fields, I have been walking through daffodils and smelling the Spring in the air. I have been waking up with the moon glow in my room. I have spent quality time with friends and family. I have talked about art and looked at art. I have taken photographs, I have thought things through.

Does this all translate into art eventually? Yes, it does. Will it soon? I don't know. Do I want it to? Um, yes... I am looking forward to painting again, but I can't force it. This is just one of those lulls I struggle through at times. Suddenly the veil will lift, I will remember and I will get caught up in a new series and run with it.

If you keep fighting, I will too. Until next week...

Putting out fires...

detail: work in progress
(subject to major changes)

And again my work suffers. It's been a while hasn't it? Not having anything new to show is making writing this blog uncomfortable, but this is how it rolls sometimes. I produce a lot of work in a years time, and sometimes there are lulls. Here we have a nicely documented lull. But, I am doing other things that are important for my art career in the meantime.

I am very excited to report I just sold 5 paintings to a new corporate client, a bank. So, this week I had to deliver the works to the interior designer who chose my work for her project. This is very exciting, and I am thrilled to be remembered when it comes to using my work. This interior designer had used my work in another bank several years ago. I did other odds and ends, not only for myself but for my fellow studio mates, and for the studios where I work. It was a lively week, and I did manage to paint, just not to a point where it is done. Today, may be the day. If I can really focus on the painting I might be able to make it come together, if not I may have to start a smaller painting, just so I can feel the satisfaction of something clicking and of completion. I also really need to restock my Etsy shop- perhaps I should move on to some small paper works. (I forgot about this trick to help me get past lulls, glad I just remembered!)

I can't believe it is already October! Sorry I just had to put that out there. In other news, I am of course enjoying the fall, the light, the cooler temperature, the strange nostalgic hope that it brings to me. I am enjoying my house more than I have in a while and re-grounding to my life. That sounds fluffy and strange, but I lost myself for a while in my art and escaping, and while my art might be taking a back seat in this moment, my mind and body are grateful to touch the earth. I am a bit of a workaholic, people pleaser, and (something else I can't remember) and I can be all these things to the detriment of my health and well being. So I am trying to back off a little bit or at least be more mindful.

Anyway, this post seems rather disjointed and probably too honest. I remember when this blog was all "rah rah rah you can do this and here's how," and now it has turned more inward to me and what I am doing, this may be why I have lost readers. I think we are all looking for someone to tell us what to do, how to do it, and also to give us praise for what we are doing. But, I've already done that here.

All I know is that making art is central to who I am, and I will continue to walk this path and I am grateful to all my patrons, teachers, mentors, muses, friends, and family who have supported me on this journey.

I predict a renaissance this Fall. I just have to be patient.

Note to self: Four weeks until my exhibition Falling into Sound to be held in the Hive Gallery, Fayetteville Underground.

Time travel etc.

brushes in the studio waiting...

Oops... How did this happen? No Friday post, but here I am on Sunday. This is the first time I have posted on a Sunday, but not the first time I missed my Friday deadline. I looked back at my blog a year ago this week, and what would you know, but I missed Friday then too and made up with a Saturday post. Further proof that at times when I think I am living on some type of loop, I probably am.

So, the basic story is that I am still blocked. I am writing, taking photographs, and spending the "right" amount of time in my studio. I have even painted, but the works are not coming forth- they are remaining submerged under the surface. Bubbling up under my skin, but then retreating when I try to actualize them. I have to be patient. I am not good at waiting. When I am not painting, I worry that I may never paint again- which is completely ridiculous. I think I might forget how; again not possible! Anyway- suffice it to say, when I am not working it messes with my mind, mood, and my overall life. Typical artist type behavior.

When I haven't been working, I am not sure what to share with you all on here, hence the delay. I tried to write about my creative block in my journal, but everything I wrote seemed overly dramatic or too personal to share here.

This is just part of the process, like folks mentioned last week. This will not be the last time I stumble or feel uncomfortable on the creative path. I have to reassure myself that something is building, and when it is time, it will pour out of me and into future paintings.

Thanks to all my readers who check in here, and all my friends who remind me not to be so hard on myself and to be patient. Sometimes, it is the people on the outside who can see so clearly, what we cannot when we are wrapped up inside. I hope the muse finds us all and soon.

Thanks for checking in.

Jumbled up...

details from my easel

I have three new paintings on the go currently in my studio. I have been attempting to work on them to the point that I could share them with you today, but it just wasn't meant to be. There were too many voices, too many outside influences and gibberish. I could not connect or find the track I needed that would allow me to be the conduit this week. I tell myself this is okay, I can feel something at the edge, an inspiration welling up. There are stories I want to write, photographs I want to take and of course these three paintings I want to complete. It is interesting to me, that I can have a completely uplifting experience last Friday with a patron and then the week following takes me far away from those feelings and leaves me grasping.

Let's focus on the uplifting experience. Last Friday, a patron came into the Underground and we looked at all my paintings, we sat in my studio and I felt like we both really looked at my work. Then we moved some of it into the gallery and we really looked again. It was a unique experience to stand next to the patron while he intensely studied my work. We both just stood there looking for a long time, and for an instance it was not my work we were looking at, it was just work. It was art on a gallery wall. We were silent and then there was a moment where we turned and looked at each other, the silence was broken with a smile and perhaps a laugh because I think we had both been caught in a space far away just for a moment. It was a wonderful feeling. To know that my work was taking us somewhere and words were not needed. Even if he had not chosen to purchase my paintings, I would have treasured those silent moments. However, he chose all three that he viewed, and it was the right choice. I was then asked to deliver my work, and that was an extra treat for me. Upon entering the patrons home I understood at once, why he was drawn to my work. He and his wife seemed thrilled to have it in their home. We placed it around the house and we looked again and we talked about it. It was another wonderful moment, where I knew how lucky I am to have the job that I do as a visual artist. I will never get tired of these connections, these moments outside of the regular humdrum of daily life. I left with a smile on my face and a gratefulness in my heart.

It is a job, but it is more of a calling. Everyday, I know more and more that this is my life. There is much more to me than just painting and art, but it is central to my happiness and well being. It is central to how I relate in the world and with others. It has brought me in contact with some of the most beautiful souls on the planet. It has expanded my horizons, my self confidence and worth. I am writing this so I will remember. All of these feelings are so easy to forget. Such as this week, when the art was not flowing and it becomes scary and frustrating. There will always be weeks when my confidence is shaken and it feels as though I have never held a brush and have never had an inspiration.

When these thoughts get too much, I will remember the silence shared in the gallery and I will remember diving into my work with a stranger only to resurface as friends.

Pocketful of inspiration

Dear Readers,

It has been a while since I just posted some things that are inspiring me at the moment. So here goes.

Thank you for checking in here, discovering this place, linking to it, telling your friends, and most of all, for your comments. I really appreciate any time you decide to spend with me, my art and words. Have a wonderful weekend. See you next week with a real story.

xx- Megan







Oh and here is an impromptu video I made of my studio...Enjoy!

My paintings are for sale. My work ranges in price from $275 to $2,200 and small original works on paper in my etsy shop are available from $25-$40. I will be adding more works there soon. Also I am always looking for additional gallery representation and exhibition opportunities. Thank you.

Find my paintings at these galleries and websites:

http://www.meganchapman.com
http://www.ddpgallery.com
http://www.bluemoonartgallery.com
http://www.wearartthouaustin.com
http://www.artmaven.etsy.com
http://www.meganchapman.blogspot.com