I am still here, I didn't turn into dust. I am not sure how. I am walking for miles (my go-to coping strategy) talking, seeing friends, sleeping, resting, grieving, recovering, eating, crying, crying, crying. I talk to you as I look back into the empty rooms. I hope you will visit me in my dreams. I want you back. This is pretty fucking hard. Layers upon layers of grief. I can't move your things.
My friends have been amazing and the flowers are blooming and the trees are leafing out. I talk to the squirrels, pigeons, and birds. I suddenly have so many bird feeders. My wee animal friends help me - stray cats roam in the garden. They are not you, but I hope they bring messages from you. I am surrounded by beauty in sadness, I am surrounded by big hearts and am aware of all the bodhisattvas that walk in our midst. All the caregivers, healers, and helpers. I try to practice compassion, my mind throws me endless curveballs. I am feeling it all and walking through it. Again I say, this is pretty fucking hard. I miss you so much, Theo.
In other news, I learned of another loss. My friend, patron, supporter of the arts, punk rocker, photographer and all-around good guy, Peter Goodbody passed away at the end of March and with everything else going on I only just found out.
If you bought a print or t-shirt with one of my faces on it, Peter Goodbody is the reason why. He suggested that I make them and so I followed through. I will always be grateful for his patronage, friendship, and support. He was a brilliant supporter of musicians and artists across the board.
Peter interviewed me for his music and art website, P3DRO. I was honoured to be asked but even more thrilled with how brilliant the interview was - he asked great questions and I enjoyed being able to weave my love of music and art together. The interview felt like a special gift. I will always be thankful for Peter and all his help and support over the years. Rest in Power, my friend. You will be missed.
Here is the interview again for those who missed it the first time or who would like to read it again.
I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas, and that 2009 is winding down nicely for you. I wish you well for 2010 as we enter a new decade.. Really already?
This post is mostly for me, as it helps me see what I have accomplished because I can't stand back or get enough space to see what all is happening. Plus to be honest in real life I am pretty horrible at not giving myself credit, always focusing on what I didn't do or what I could have done better. This is the proof I need to silence those voices. I encourage you to write up your own year in review- I bet you will be amazed at what all you have done in the past 12 months, or you will see where you want to make changes in the new year.
I started off the year completing twenty new paintings for my exhibition, Fire and Noise, that opened in Little Rock, Arkansas at the River Market ArtSpace. I enjoyed the color red as it made a strong showing in this body of work as well as being inspired by the Nick Cave song,"Do you love me." I had not worked with one song as a thematic device for a collection of paintings and enjoyed the experience, although I think it strayed a bit from the initial concept. I am happy to report that seven of the twenty paintings sold from this body of work.
After weathering a massive ice storm, and once the power came back on, I was strongly encouraged by a dear friend to join Blipfoto in February. I did as I was told and haven't been the same since. I am now obsessed with taking at least one photo a day and have really enjoyed getting to know several of the other blippers on the site. Three of my blips have now been used commercially, 2 in the inside of a CD package, and one will be a future book cover. Not to mention that many of my blips have been used in a recent project of my own, but I am trying to be chronological, so we have to wait for that.
My next show "Selective Evidence" opened soon after in March at theddp gallery in Fayetteville, Arkansas. This was a fun exhibition as the gallery owner, Dede Peters requested that my studio be recreated in the gallery. At first I wasn't sure about this idea, but people seemed to really enjoy it. They loved seeing my paint encrusted easel as well as the fifteen paintings never before shown in the region. I sold 8 paintings in 2.5 weeks ( it was short show) with several pieces being bought while still wet, fresh off the easel.
In April, my work became available in Austin, Texas. I shipped 5 paintings to a lovely boutique called Wear Art Thou. Sadly, these paintings did not fly off the shelves, but I was happy to have my work out of state on exhibition. One of my blog readers even made a special trip to the shop to view the work and took a photograph of the work on display. You can see her post about it here.
At the end of April I excitedly moved into my new studio space outside my home!!! I signed the lease on a studio in the Fayetteville Underground. This has been an amazing experience, learning how to balance painting with managerial skills, not to mention just working around other artists and having my studio open to the public once a month on First Thursday. I am proud of all the work I have done with the Fayetteville Underground organization, and pleased we were voted best commercial gallery in our local Citiscapes magazine. We work hard and play hard at the Fayetteville Underground, and the artists and the studios make it a special place. I am excited about our upcoming 2010 schedule of exhibitions and of course continuing to work in my studio.
In late May I took a road trip to Atlanta to see my niece graduate from High School but I also made time to see some great art in the galleries and museums. I was blown away by the George Long exhibition I saw at the Marcia Wood gallery. This body of work and trip to Atlanta was very inspirational and influenced my flashes of memory/secret blocks that would come later.
This same month I had several paintings in a group show at the ddp gallery called Now and Again.
In June, it was off on another road trip this time to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in Kansas City. The show was amazing, but also quality art viewing was squeezed in yet again, going to the museums and galleries and being inspired. Seeing good art and hearing good music inspires me more than anything, so I am proud that I was able to fit that into 2009.
In July, I gave an artist talk to the Artists of Northwest Arkansas group about my art and process- which was my first paid speaking gig. I remember being excited and nervous, and so proud of myself for this talk, and thinking I want to do more public speaking. I also remember I had a horrible barking cough during this talk and was sucking on cough drops the whole time.
During that same week, I received a shocking email that River Market ArtSpace in Little Rock was closing its doors after eleven years of business. I remember being so excited about this venue for my work. It was a very popular gallery in the State of Arkansas in a wonderful bustling downtown area. My exhibition Fire and Noise found it's home in this gallery as did so many of my other paintings. I enjoyed showing and selling my work in this grand space for the year and half that I did. So, another gallery closed- three galleries that represented my work were lost to closure since the recession started.
During all of this I was busy painting these new works in my new studio and developing my concept of the 100 flashes of memory or what is currently known as secret blocks.
August was a blur, working at The Underground on policies and procedures, maintaining The Underground blog, painting, photography and secret block experiments. I was also painting small works on paper and restocking my etsy shop, ArtMavenseveral times; always thrilled with the sales there. I really believe in the power of original art and believe that everyone should be able to afford it.
In September, I lead an intuitive drawing workshop in an upper level Architecture course at the University. It was a 3 hour course, and I had never offered a workshop of that nature and was honored to be asked by my friend and fellow artist Laura Terry who is an associate professor of Architecture at the University of Arkansas. It was a very interesting experience. It really left me feeling inspired and again wishing I did more public speaking or workshops.
This photograph I took of artist Maggie Ivy sums up September for me as well. Again, I keep exploring photography. It helps when you have an expert painting by Wyeth for inspiration as well as a stellar friend and model such as Maggie.
October and November was another blur, with first Thursday open studio events at The Underground, painting, photography. Also painting charity pieces for the Blue Moon Gallery'sCASA benefit, and DDP gallery's Project Feed Local. Also working hard on the secret blocks.
During this time, a very cool project was born! I painted a small work on paper and mailed it to UK painter and friend, Steven Heaton where he then documents it and will paint over it and return the painting to me. When I receive it, I will document what he has done and paint over it again only to return it. We will do this several times, and show the painting in our respective studios as well as document it on a special blog as this one painting morphs and changes; getting battered and tattered on its repeat transatlantic journey. Something to look forward to in 2010.
At the beginning of December I received word that four of my paintings had been selected by the Aaron Gallery in Washington D.C. to be a part of their 20th annual small and miniature exhibition. I was beyond happy to ship off some of my new paintings for this special exhibition.
Also, I was thrilled to debut 13 of my secret blocks at the DDP gallery's small works show the same month. I also made a video of that installation that I was quite proud of, so here it is again. This marked the first time I had exhibited my photographs rather than paintings in a gallery setting. I was quite nervous, but people seemed to respond to them well and enjoyed the tactile quality as well as the secret aspect of them.
So that is it, that is my year in review.. I am exhausted, and if you actually read all of that, I bet you are too!
And of course I wasted time on the Internet like the rest of the world, ate too much crap food, didn't exercise enough, and probably drank a little too much as well. I didn't read as much as I would like, and should have called my family and friends more often and I had my share of personal problems. Why am I writing this part? I am writing this, because when I first read blogs, I thought everyone was just so amazing- that their lives were super human and I envied that. My life is out of balance many days of the year, there are days I just sit and do nothing and get depressed, but then there are the days where I can accomplish a weeks worth of business in a couple of hours.
All I know is this, I am an artist and most days I am glad to be alive. I feel fortunate to have the friends, family, and support that I have in my life. I am fortunate that sometimes people buy my art and I am grateful for that, because without their financial support I can't live. I know that I am inspired by so much that I see, hear, read and receive from people just like you. Thank you for 2009..
Oh what to discuss today... This week in the life of an artist:
I participated in a couple of interviews this week regarding theFayetteville Underground, where my studio is housed, as more and more people are becoming interested in what we are doing in the basement downtown. I also watched the galleries for a couple of hours this week and showed patrons around the facilities and my studio.
On Tuesday I lead an intuitive drawing workshop in an upper level Architecture course at the University. It was a 3 hour course, and I had never offered a workshop of that nature and was honored to be asked by my friend and fellow artist Laura Terry who is a professor of Architecture at the University of Arkansas. It was a very interesting experience, first going over some of my paintings via my website projected on a screen before the class. I also passed around some of my Etsy paintings, so they could see those small works in person and as they contain more drawing and marks they seemed more appropriate for the class. I lead them in a relaxation exercise and then we listened to music and got to it. Intuitively painting and drawing; we asked and answered questions all the while. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did. It is interesting to think about the marks I make and the questions I ask myself while I work, but then to vocalize those to the students and get them to think intuitively while solving the problems that come up within their own work, was a unique experience. I left the class with a better understanding that art making is comprised of a backlog of skills learned, along with the intuition to know how to put those skills to use. I also learned that for many people intuition is this mysterious force that they have not yet tapped into. I can't imagine. I left feeling confident that I had stepped out of my comfort zone and did a good job. I have given two art talks this year, and I have really enjoyed each opportunity I have had to speak with people about art. I think speaking about art is becoming one of my favorite things.
Then on Wednesday, I went on a photo shoot with my friend and fellow underground artist Maggie Ivy. There is a wonderful piece of land nearby that I like to photograph and I had envisioned it as a great place to attempt to recreate Andrew Wyeth's famous painting "Christina's world". I knew that Maggie would be the perfect model, so off we went to the land in the morning, out in the rain and mud but we got the shot! I am so pleased with the results that you can see at the top of the post. I felt elated all day over that photograph. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off and then I did. I guess the same thing goes with the drawing class- perhaps that is why this week has been such a good one. Challenges arose that I managed to pull off, I exceeded my expectations; I managed to do that by not having any expectations in the first place. I wish all my weeks were like this.
What happened on Thursday? Nothing much to be honest, I talked about art and life with friends and it was a long and good day, still pleased with the happenings of early in the week. I kind of took a pass on the day. I listened to music, went for a walk, took a photo. I will admit I was a bit crippled as I knew yesterday's photo wasn't going to be as special, but it didn't need to be. Today, I will take another photograph and I have no idea what it will be. Oh yeah, painting and 100 flashes of memory; I will be returning to those soon as well.
All I know today: I am happy to be an artist. I am happy to listen to the music, read the books, enjoy the films and art that I do. I am happy to enjoy photography on a daily basis. I am happy when I take risks and I am rewarded. I am happy and grateful to be part of a global arts community that feeds my soul.
