Gold is the colour of now

And that's all I have to say about that. 

X

Nestled within

detail

I have just returned from another brilliant visit to Cyan Clayworks in the heart of Leith. Fiona and Chris have both been busy developing new bodies of work in preparation for their Edinburgh Fringe exhibition. It was a delight to see some of their new work, fresh from the kiln. 

As I have probably said before, I love having Cyan Clayworks in my neighbourhood. Fiona and Chris have created such a warm and welcoming space. It is a place where we usually talk about everything and nothing while sharing the wide variety of weirdness between us. 

Often, other artists drop by as well, adding to the atmosphere of camaraderie and connection. Today, artist Emma Sutherland popped by to say hello and to bring some promo materials for her upcoming group exhibition. "I have been here before" which will be held at MOTE 102, and opens Friday 31 July from 6-8pm and then continues on from 1-9 August, and is open from 11am - 5pm. It was good to be reintroduced to Emma who I met years ago. I am looking forward to the exhibition. MOTE 102 is a great space that shows exciting and versatile work and is another gem in the neighbourhood. So if you are in Leith/Edinburgh or coming through town put both these shows on your calendar. 

I always feel uplifted and more connected to the bigger picture after a visit with Chris and Fiona in their beautiful space. They are genuine connectors - a vital part to any art space, scene, or movement. Thank you both for all you share and everything that you bring to the community. You make it look easy, but I know it is hard work. 

Tomorrow, I have plans to meet my good friend and fellow artist, Julia, for a wander around the city and we will see where we end up. There is usually art and tea involved. I am looking forward to it. I enjoy our art rambles tremendously. 

In other news, my project continues, I have just completed day 42. I am starting to overthink it, and I feel like bowing out at times, but the information gleaned from my time on "the project" can't be understated. It's powerful and leading me somewhere so I will continue to do it whether I am in the flow or not.

This week was also full of nostalgia. I am noticing time in a very concrete way that has stopped me in my tracks more than a few times. I think the project and all that goes with it has primed the pump for this sort of reckoning.

Slow, fast, slow, fast, gone. I think I am in the early days of the second fast.

I am learning a lot, remaining open, and staying curious which may help slow it down a bit or perhaps it just makes me more acutely aware of the fast, and how fleeting everything is. 

Time continues to fold in on itself and I am nestled within.
You are there too. 

X.

detail

Anchor to my days

Book two

I have now been engaged in my personal project in my studio daily for the last 5 weeks. As previously mentioned, this entails a string of rituals stacked on top of each other and practised each morning starting around 6am. This usually lasts several hours, and before anything else happens in my day. Everything in its right place - a certain order - a priority. This time is fused together by movement, music, writing and painting, study and meditation. Born from necessity, the essentials revisited. It is a meaningful anchor to my days and I will continue like this until it inevitably runs its course.

Flowers & Culture

Southern heart, mixed media on paper, 20 x 29.5 cm, ©2024 Megan Chapman

Hello Dear Readers,

I have been working on an art related project behind the scenes here and it's something I have been meaning to do for a while now. I am pleased to have finally had the time and space to tackle it and working in my new studio has certainly helped. However, I am not ready to share it yet because there is more I would like to do. I will share it soon though, I promise. 

I wasn't sure what I would write about this week due to delaying that bit of news. So, I will share a few random things and some cultural visitations.

First of all. It's DAFFODIL SEASON. That means you can walk into any grocery shop and find .95p bouquets of daffodils in bud, that bloom once you put them in some water at home. All varieties. Why isn't this a thing in the USA? This is one of my top five reasons to live over here (I am not kidding - it's probably in the top three)

Now to the culture segment:

Exhibitions: 

RSA: Modern Miniatures and Currently on view

City Art Centre: Michael Fullerton, along with a quick revisit of Out of Chaos: Post-War Scottish Art 1945-2000

Open Eye: Exhibitions by Glen Scouller RSW RGI, and Luisa Ramazzotti, and On a Grand Scale featuring John Bellany, Barbara Rae DBE, and Leon Morrocco RSA RGI, as well as, On a Small Scale by selected invited artists.

Scottish Gallery: Great Escapes - Rowan Patton, James Morrison - In Focus, Various Artists - The Northern Isles Part II

Books: 

A Winter Book by Finnish author Tove Jansson. This book of short stories was given to me by my Finnish pal, Peikko. The stories were the perfect company during the dark month of January. The short story, Squirrel especially resonated. It's a lonely book of bohemian and coastal memory filled with magic that shoots one across ages and time. 

The First Bad Man by Miranda July. I have had this book for ages now, and have started it many times but this time I am going to finish it. I always enjoy Miranda's writing of the intense and deeply awkward and often relatable ways of women. You might too. 

The other day another book dropped through the door, and I was perplexed until I opened it, and I had to thank myself for preordering, Atypical Girl, Punk rock, Liverpool, and trying to be normal by Penny Kiley. I have already started it (but must finish Miranda's book first!) but I am very excited to spend more time in the pages and on Penny's journey. 

Films: (I am not going to link to trailers because I don't like them) but these are some great films that I have seen recently. (I am so glad I saw Hamnet in the theatre so I could cry in public.)

Hamnet 
Adaptation
Paterson
The Last Showgirl
Aftersun
Paris is Burning
The Florida Project

TV:

The Lowdown Created by Sterlin Harjo (I am in the middle of this and am really enjoying the Tulsa vibes). John Doe (from X) is a proper scene-stealer in one episode. Thanks Sarah for the recommendation - you were right. 

Music:

I have been listening to old Wipers albums. I was late to the party and just in time - just a tremendous band and I can see why they were so influential to so many. I have also been enjoying Amyl and The Sniffers, and GRLwood, and revisiting the music of T.S.O.L.. I have also revisited some old albums by Moby and it truly was the samples he used that always grabbed me. So I had to listen to The Famous Davis Singers. Arkansas treasure, Jesse Welles, dropped a new video with another great tune reflecting the USA at the moment, and I have been listening to it on repeat. 

That's all I have for you this week. I hope that you are okay. Please take a minute to care for yourself by enjoying some culture. It will help you to keep fighting the good fight. Thanks for being here. Stay strong. 

I kept all your letters

Sometimes I wonder if I should have a separate place to write things that aren't about art. I wonder if that would make it easier to always write "on time." But then if I was writing somewhere else there would be no exact time to do it and there would be nothing here on "Friday."

So here I am, not exactly wanting to write about art. There are two things I sort of want to write about. The first is that I picked through someone's flat moving remnants outside their building. They were kind enough to take a photo and share it online - a community offering before it would be taken to a charity shop. I picked up 2 bags of castoffs. I took photos of my haul and shared it with friends and family. I tallied up its retail value. I commented that it was obviously the possessions of a much younger woman but with the taste of my inner child. I even took a stack of her hot pink and yellow coloured paperbacks - 8 of them in the pile. And this is maybe where it ventures into art. The concept around methodically reading another person's books, void of choice - like a street assigned reading list.

I get a bit excited by limitations.

I get overwhelmed by all the choices at the grocery store or in shops. But, I love the treasures left on the street or in the racks of the charity shop. I love the fated aspect of it. I usually find exactly what I need and when I need it. I needed a boost and I got a second Christmas from her leaving offerings, complete with mustard yellow low top Converse All Stars exactly in my size. She wrote on the toes of both shoes, "life's too short to waste" in black pen. 

I noticed the faded mantra the next day. 

I feel like I have wasted my fair share of life but I also feel we are probably meant to or maybe there is no way to actually waste it. I hope that's the case. However it all works out, I was glad to receive her message.

So I am reading her books and living with her things and wishing her well on her move. 

The second thing I sort of wanted to write about was some local genealogy research I have been doing but I can't write about it poetically. Genealogy is mostly frustrating, with flashes of magic here and there - stories and family ghosts pulling me along into a puzzle of history and dumb luck. An hour becomes a whole day and I can't look away. It all points back to the tip of my new shoes. Am I wasting my life? Surely not.

I like to think the ancient family knows I am looking for them and that they are glad I am here. They are as curious about me as I am of them. 

They whisper, there is art in all of this.

It's a found life for the pack of us

Book. 2019. Available £150

As I mentioned last week, this month I am focussing on my Book Series. The book series was created in 2019 as a follow-up to the original books that I created to earn my BFA in Painting and Drawing from the University of Oregon in 1999. 

I thought it would be fun to share the following review of my exhibition from back then. The last time I shared this was in 2008, so seems like it is time again. 

What follows is a spontaneous review of my show I found inside my comment book, written by my old friend Hayyim (Howard) Cohen. We worked together side by side in little cubicles selling the newspaper in a tiny downtown office and became fast friends in the 90s in Eugene, Oregon. He would share his New York Times Arts section with me during breaks.



Megan by Hayyim Cohen (written in 1999)

"Combining subversive parody, red (life), black (nothingness) and white (blinding light), duct tape to shut out the noisy excess, upholstery tacks, and the dead bodies of obsolete technical books, Megan Chapman (see your dictionary- "Chapman" means seller) creates lyrical southern "talkin' blues" between the pages of discards (found objects) she collects from the free bins of the Smith Family bookstore in Eugene Oregon.

Providing at her B.F.A. commencement (the beginning of her life as an artist) a comfortable pink sofa with fresh green throw pillows, a little Gene Autry and "A Sunday Kind of Love" musical background for a gathering of "found" people who "read" her books often with whimsical smiling faces.

Megan nails the defunct corpses of old books (now frames for her poems and designs) on the gallery walls with the tacks she loves, this is interspersed with machine blowups of her photographs, which add a nice contrapuntal theme to the shards of books behind the sofa and on the coffee table. Megan is a southern woman and now she has a B.F.A. to nail to the wall when she goes home (tell your Maw, tell your Paw I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas - population 40,002). It is all here in the art, the depths of introspective experience, from one who knows how it all fits together in the package. It's a "found" life for the pack of us, don't you think? Megan has definitely found something...to do and to make a difference, and she does it all with southern hospitality to boot!"

I am so fortunate to have this nugget, and like the art closed up in those old altered books, I thought this needed to be aired out and shared. My friend, Howard did this on his own accord, and I am grateful for his tangents and details; his writing helps me to remember myself at that time, as well as the show and the atmosphere.

Hope you enjoyed this review from the past. Have a lovely weekend. 

Book. 2019. £150

Feels like September

This busted chair feels like September

Hello, Dear Readers, 

Well, there is no denying that people are fascinated with AI. Last week's blog proved popular and outranked several of my recent posts.  

I won't be using AI this week and I am happy to be sitting here in front of my computer listening to music and contemplating which thoughts to share with you. This studio blog is part of my art practice and after sixteen years, it's part of my life - even if and when the "robots" can do it better. 

It's September and the tea is still tasting good as the light starts to shift and the darkness shows up faster than I would like. For the blog this week, I thought a cultural roundup was in order. I used to do this back in the day - share the things that were inspiring, teaching, and or reminding me of who I am or who I want to be. 

Let's see: 

Podcasts: 

Working Class History: 

I just listened to E21-24: WCH Crime: The Columbia Eagle Mutiny - "about the hijacking of a ship full of napalm by two anti-war US sailors during the Vietnam war." I thought this was well done and I enjoyed listening to Alvin Glatkowski tell his amazing story. I enjoyed learning about something I knew nothing about. 

I am currently listening to another podcast produced by Working Class History. I just started E27-29: Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners - "about the young LGBT+ people who transformed the workers’ movement supporting the UK strike of coal miners in 1984-5." Give them a listen! Our world is filled with such courageous people creating change sometimes at great personal cost. I am thankful for them.

For a bit of fun, I also enjoyed listening to "Who Robs A Banksy?" A six-part series revolving around a true character by the name of Andy Link."In 2004, he kidnapped one of Banksy’s pieces of art in broad daylight from the middle of central London, and held it to ransom." You will have to listen to hear how it all plays out.

Books: 

America Over the Water by Shirley Collins. I read this earlier in the summer and really enjoyed learning about Shirley Collin's role in helping Alan Lomax get all those Southern recordings. If you are in Edinburgh - I picked my copy at Good Vibes in Leith - a super friendly record and book shop. They have great incense too. Check them out!

HELLSANS by Ever Dundas. You might not think that a story about a typeface that causes grotesque sickness in some and euphoria in others set in a dystopian future would be the book that would offer me solace as I slowly recovered from COVID-19, but you would be wrong. I clung to this book for three solid days. I badly needed to disappear from my reality and into another and Ever made that easy. This book also changed the way I relate to technology and helped me to explore some of my beliefs about myself and where I fit into this world. Reading HELLSANS reminded me of myself at 16 staying up all night eating saltine crackers and salsa while devouring Alan Moore's The Watchmen. Thank you, Ever. 

Occupy! Occupy! Occupy!: A People's History of Occupation. This 36-page comic book helped get me acquainted with the occupations that have taken place in Scotland from 1940-2021. That's an amazing feat to capture in 36 pages! What a great resource directly from the voices that took part. This is really well done and I highly recommend picking up a copy. A bargain at just a fiver! Solidarity!

BADASS HABITS by Jen Sincero. Oh no, a self-help book - who let this one in here?! Whatever - I read it and I followed along for 3 weeks as it prompted and well, it helped me. Some of it was good and some of it was yucky but it did help me figure out a few things. So, maybe it will help you.

Films: (A bit of a theme here)

Matewan
Salt of the Earth
Norma Rae
The Take
At the River, I Stand
Sunset Boulevard

TV:

Heartstopper

Only Murders in the Building

Reservation Dogs

Dark Winds

Music:

I listen to Dave Brubeck every morning while I eat my porridge. This song comes on first (I mean if that doesn't set the tone - I don't know what does).

Currently, I listen to Christian Löffler's Haul on repeat while I am out walking. You know I am listening to a variety of music all the damn time - so I am not going to get into all that. :) Some of you, even have access to my playlists - I know you are long overdue an update. Thanks for your patience.

I hope you have enjoyed this culture round-up. I had to take a break from writing it to walk over for a wee meeting about an upcoming group exhibition at the Drill Hall later this month with my studio peers. See, I fit a bit of art talk in there. I will tell you all about it next week - so you can put it in your diaries and join us.

Thanks for popping by the old studio blog. If you enjoy my blog or appreciate these particular recommendations consider leaving me a tip. Please share what is inspiring you in the comments. Until next week, keep fighting! 

The tea tastes good

Where my soul roams
Mixed media on canvas
24x24x2cm (framed)
Megan Chapman
£325
Purchase

How can it already be the 18th of August? I lost a good 3 weeks to Covid and now the rebuilding begins. As autumn approaches new ideas come forward - I always feel like the beginning of this season is more instrumental in creating new ways of being than the new year. A holdover from "back to school" days I am sure. I want to learn, I want to grow, I want to change in the autumn - I bought a pack of new pens and I cut my hair. I have a homemade calendar page on the fridge. I am ready.

I watch good films, I read good books, I discover new music. I watch for the first leaves to fall and note the shift in the light. I make plans for the darker days on the way. 

I work, I engage, I participate and help. I plant something silver and sculptural. I make friends and I rediscover my love of photography. The tea tastes good. I am alive. 

Small gestures
Mixed media on canvas
24x24x2cm (framed)
Megan Chapman
£325 
Purchase

Natural light and plenty of tea

I want to lock myself away in a big room that has natural light and plenty of tea. 

I want a big bowl of dirt, some white paint, a roll of canvas and I want to make it dirty and cracked and rub holes into it. I want to work on broken things. Distressed. I want to paint light blue over the dirty cracked white paint. I just want to make 100 broken things and paint over them. 

I have always wanted to paint on dirty and abused surfaces. I don't know why I ever stopped. I really need to start again. 

Lots of exciting things are in the works. Thanks for stopping by and staying tuned for them. You can always visit my link tree and connect with all the things and support my work. 

https://linktr.ee/meganchapmanpaintings

Thank you, 

Megan

Two exhibitions! Make plans to attend!

Hello Dear Studio Blog Readers, 

I am happy to share again that I have work coming up in two exhibitions in July. It's time to get serious about the promotion of both of them. So here goes with thanks to both press releases. If you are local to Edinburgh or plan to visit, I hope you can catch one if not both of these exhibitions. 

Artwork by Abigail Osborne ‘a lot of people want you to throw this away' (2020)

granton:hub is pleased to announce that our community is now included in the 'Coastal Knowledge’ project funded by the RSE Young Academy Scotland and led by Dr Niki Vermeulen (University of Edinburgh) celebrating Scotland’s (prolonged) year of coast and waters.

As a coastal community, Granton plays a part in developing diverse forms of knowledge about the coast and experiences that people have living and working on the coast.

The Recycl-Age Art exhibition was selected as part of this Coastal Knowledge project and is included in the 2021 Edinburgh Science festival, offering artists a unique opportunity to showcase their work. Recycl-Age Art 2021 includes painters, printmakers, collage artists, ceramicists, illustrators, photographers, textile artists, jewellers, composers, poets and makers. Many artworks incorporate recycled elements, indeed several are made of 100% recycled and repurposed materials. Some artists reflect on what recycling means to them, figuratively or conceptually

With contributions from: Marta Adamowicz –  Elise Ashby – Anna Baran – Emily Brooks Millar – Sandra Brown – Megan Chapman – Erin Colquhoun – Michael Dawson – Gina Fierlafijn Reddie – Penny Forbes – Komachi Goto – David Gray – Lorna Johnson – Jessica Kirkpatrick – Victor Nobis – Valerie O’Regan – Abigail Osborne – Ludovica Perosin – Ian Reddie – Judith Shaylor – Jacqueline Thow – Mark Urban – Rosemary Walker – Bev Wright

Here is the preview video:

I am delighted to participate in this exciting exhibition. As you may recall I was very inspired by the granton hub when I showed there in the past and wrote a blog about the experience. You can read that post again here. That positive experience encouraged me to apply to become a volunteer at the hub. I have been enjoying helping behind the scenes in preparation for the Recyl-Age exhibition.

On to the next big show... 

A really exciting moment is approaching for the Abstractionistas, the new abstract collective of which I am a proud member. I really hope to see you at this exhibition.

Advancing the Abstract’ debut exhibition by Abstractionistas collective

Friday 9 July 2021 - Sunday 25 July 2021

Reception: Saturday 10 July 2021, 2-6 pm

Open daily from 12-5 pm

Gallery Two, Edinburgh Palette, St. Margaret’s House

151 London Road

Edinburgh

EH7 6AE

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abstractionistas/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Abstractionistas

Book your Free Exhibition Tickets: https://bit.ly/exhibitiontickets

‘Advancing the Abstract’ is the debut exhibition from a new collective of abstract painters based in Scotland. The collective, aptly named, The Abstractionistas, is currently made up of four artists - Esther Donaldson, Megan Chapman, Judith Shaylor and Susan Wilson. These women bring a depth of experience in the arts and a firm dedication to abstract expression, each one striking a different chord with their use of colour, line, space, and drama.

The goal of the collective is to create more opportunities to share the enduring importance, power and pull of abstraction with viewers across Scotland. Please join us for this exciting inaugural exhibition.

The exhibition will be open to the public, subject to current government guidelines. Masks are required except for those who are exempt, social distancing will be in place, and hand sanitiser will be available.

Please book your free tickets on Eventbrite so that we can provide you with a safer and more enjoyable exhibition experience. There are 10 tickets available for each 30-minute time slot to allow for physical distancing.

To attend the opening reception please select ticket times between 2-6 pm on Saturday 10 July. All the artists will be available at this time and would love to see you there!

A rollercoaster of a week!

Thanks to everyone who read, shared, responded and commented on last week's blog post. It's always interesting to see which posts strike a chord with my readers. Before I delve back into the exciting subject of curating exhibitions in alternative spaces and creating a collective of like-minded artists, I must share a bit of news from the studio this week.

This week in the Tuesday Studio Video Visit I shared my new book series and my ideas behind the project as it was 20 years ago and wondered how I might approach it today. You can see and hear all about it below.



In other news, one of the galleries that had carried my work on a trial basis since December contacted me this week to ask me to collect my three paintings. It's always a bummer for all involved when a gallery isn't able to sell my work, especially when it is on a street revered for its art and in a space that specialises in abstract work. I had a perfectly lovely chat with the gallerist and we caught up on the local art goings on and I got to enjoy the current exhibition as well. I am always thankful for the opportunity.

The "art world" is a business and this is just part of it. I wanted to share this news with you (especially if you are an artist) because it is just the reality of it and it doesn't have to be a big deal or even too much of a bummer. Of course, I was disappointed and I even had a good blether with the taxi driver all about it. Questions popped up as he drove me and the paintings across town, "What makes it art?" "Why does it command the price it does?" "Why are you an artist and someone else isn't?" He even gave me a bit of a pep talk before I exited the vehicle. I found his interest and kindness the most emotional aspect of it all. Onwards we go!

As luck would have it, the same day (right after I got out of the taxi), other opportunities opened up - alternative space possibilities were discussed (for curating the collective exhibition), as well as a solo exhibition opportunity and an upcoming highly visible one-night-only exhibition were all mentioned over a 10-minute impromptu meeting. I will keep you posted on these opportunities in the near future, but safe to say the wee meeting was a boost and left me excited.

The hits keep on coming, now for the big news! The next day, Jackson's Art Supplies, an international art supply shop, based in London, published an interview with me on their inspirational blog on their website. It is quite an honour and I am grateful for the opportunity. The interview was happily splashed all around social media yesterday. If you missed it, you can see it here. It's a rather in-depth interview and filled with images of my work and some studio shots as well. I am beyond pleased! Thanks to artist Julie Caves for the brilliant interview. I also want to send out a special "hello!" to any new blog readers or social media followers due to this interview.

Today, the studio where I work, The Out of the Blue Drill Hall in Leith, chose me as their featured artist of the week! This is a new feature they are trying out on Instagram and Twitter, to promote our work and the tenants within the organisation. I am grateful to work in such a beautiful old building around the corner from the flat. Always nice to be recognised and have my work and the galleries that represent me shared!

That's the week in the studio covered, wonderful promotions, ideas and opportunities are the parts I plan to focus on. I have plenty more to say in regards to last week's blog post, but I think I may work on it privately with a pen and paper and try to share more about it all next week.

Thank you for being part of my art world and allowing me to be part of yours. I do think we are stronger together and I think we are even stronger when we share our successes as well as our struggles. The joy is in finding each other and ourselves again and again through this wonderful practice called art. Until next week, keep fighting!

***************************************
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Inspirations: There is no end to this...

I was working on a 2008 wrap up post, but I got completely overwhelmed. So I decided to put that on the back burner for now. Sometimes people just want to know what inspires me and I have written several blogs about my inspirations in the past but it has been a while. So here goes... Enjoy...

My number one inspiration over everything is music. If you ask me what inspires my paintings, I am not going to give you another painter's name but the name of a band or a song. If you want to know what bands inspire me, just take a listen to my play list. I have music on all the time from the moment I wake up until I sleep, and sometimes I even sleep to it (mostly in the summer.) Music helps me day dream, tells me stories and makes my life much more exciting and beautiful.Music is my constant companion and friend.

Another major inspiration are the films I watch. I love all types of films but I really love the films of Wong Kar-wai. Such as Chunking Express, In the mood for love, and 2046. If you are not familiar with his films, I highly recommend them. Many of you know that I am also a huge fan of Hal Hartley. Favorites include, Surviving Desire, Henry Fool, and Book of Life. Here is a scene from Book of Life



Next, the books I read. I have been a sporadic reader in the past, but have read considerably more this past year. I have always been a huge fan of Armistead Maupin and have read everything of his. But I found myself in reading lull, I just couldn't find what I was looking for until about a year ago. It turns out I just didn't know where to look. Thanks to a good friend, now I do. The works of Huruki Murakami stir my mind up in the best way. Favorites include, Kafka on the Shore, After Dark, South of the Border West of the Sun, and Sputnik Sweet Heart. After the quake, is a good collection of his short stories to get you started. I also throughly enjoy the books of Douglas Coupland, my favorites so far of his being, The Gum Thief, Girlfriend in a Coma, and Hey Nostradamus. I am also inspired by the blogs that I read, please check my blog roll on the right, and explore some of those that I frequent, you won't be disappointed.

Now to art, you would expect that I am inspired by art and of course I am. Some of these people I admire for their art, others for their business sense or lust for life. Some favorites include:
Basquiat, Hirst, Warhol, Modigliani, Schiele, Rothko, Bacon, Munch, the list could go on and on. Photographers Mann, Woodman and I truly love the works of Robert Polidori in his book Zones of Exclusion: Pripyat and Chernobyl. These photographs are haunting, the colors are lovely and it is amazing to see these places returning to the earth after being abandoned due to the Chernobyl disaster. I highly recommended this book. I found it in my local library, perhaps it is in yours?

I am also inspired by the art that my friends and family produce. Artists in general inspire me, to be an artist is a labor of love and it takes courage. I admire all the artists that are quietly going for it or beating down doors to be seen and heard.

I hope I have turned you on to some new inspirations or that you have gotten to know me just a little bit better. I thank you for reading my blog and sharing some of your precious time with me. It means a lot to me and you all inspire me as well.

If this wasn't enough of my inspirations and you are new to this blog, there are several previous posts you might want to check out.

Inspiration Grab Bag
Six Amazing artists you should know
Rainy Day? Say goodbye to boredom with Fun
What my mind needs

Looking back, to look forward.

Let's go back in time....

February 28 1998
"...This term is almost over, 2 more weeks till finals and then spring break. This term has been pretty good. I like my art classes and my Spanish teacher is good. I've really enjoyed Photography and my teacher Lorena. Sculpture has been okay, I've done one project I like. Painting is okay too, I like my teacher again. Next term I am taking painting, drawing, Spanish, and independent study (more painting). It should be interesting. During spring break I'm going to clean out the basement for my studio. My friend Krista gave me a really nice book on Basquiat, it is a really nice book. I have been doing a little research into the NYC art scene of the 80's. Reading Keith Harring's journal. By reading his journal, I have much more of an appreciation for him and his art. He is a good thinker and writer. I am just so curious about what makes people create art, and do I have the need to create? Why am I in Art school? Am I really passionate about anything?I feel like a faker sometimes, I am not obsessed with art and it seems like you need to be in order to create good things. I don't know. Also, after reading Keith's journal mine looks like JR. High school. I don't contemplate or analyze. I need to think more, (less in some cases though)..."

April 18 1998
"...I'm painting a really big painting and I'm kinda stuck. It bugs me, but time will solve it, I 'm sure. Sometimes, I forget I'm expressing myself. It seems like I get lost and go on someone else's emotion (music) etc. The apartment is trashed because of my painting..."

Almost a year's gap...

March 19 1999
"...It is Spring break, I only have ten more weeks of college left and I'll have my B.F.A. in painting. Exciting and Scary. After school, heading back to Fayetteville in August. To do what, I don't know... I have tons of ideas but who knows what will really happen. I just turned 27. Seems older than 25 or 26, getting close to 30!..."

April 5 1999
"... I am on campus waiting to have my review with my painting teacher, Laura Vandenburg, she wants to see what we've been up to. I want to remember some of my painting and art teacher's names in case they get famous...

• Ron Graff- painting/drawing
  
• Carla Bengston- painting/drawing
  
• Cara Tomlinson- painting/drawing
  
• Laura Vandenburg- painting
  
• Dora Natella- sculpture/design
  
• Lorena Turner- photography
  

I've had some really good teachers here..."

April 10 1999
"... my BFA terminal show is in 5 weeks. I have so much work to do but I've been having some good ideas. I better jot them down before I forget them..." (see image to the left for these ideas)

April 16 1999
"... Back to Art, my show is in 4 weeks. I am not doing any work. I can't motivate. I can't write, it takes too much effort like everything else. Maybe- I should just have another coke and see what's on TV..."



April no date 1999
"...my life is a mess yet calm and proceeding right on schedule too. My show is in 2 weeks, and of course I will graduate in June. My hands look old..."

May 12 1999
"... my show is on Monday! I'm excited but nervous too. What if they don't get it? What if they don't take the time? I just want to hide. My face gets all hot, red, and stingy when I talk about my show. I spaz out about it, too excited and sweaty, it leaves me tired and wanting a drink. I am listening to Tom Waits- Rain dogs. Sometimes he sounds so right..."

May 21 1999
"... Well. Today is the last day of my show. I'm sitting in it. It comes down in about 3 hours. The opening was a big success. I was pleased. People responded the way I had hoped. They sat on the couch and they read the books. They laughed, they read out loud, they seemed touched. Of course some people just walk by. Some are confused and don't know what to do. It is a bit sad when they look over at my work and just walk on by, so into only what is on the walls. They don't want to touch, dirty old books. Anyway, it was a good experience, I kept costs low, but gave a good show. I stuck to my guns whether or not it was completely accepted.

I will always want more..."