I kept all your letters

Sometimes I wonder if I should have a separate place to write things that aren't about art. I wonder if that would make it easier to always write "on time." But then if I was writing somewhere else there would be no exact time to do it and there would be nothing here on "Friday."

So here I am, not exactly wanting to write about art. There are two things I sort of want to write about. The first is that I picked through someone's flat moving remnants outside their building. They were kind enough to take a photo and share it online - a community offering before it would be taken to a charity shop. I picked up 2 bags of castoffs. I took photos of my haul and shared it with friends and family. I tallied up its retail value. I commented that it was obviously the possessions of a much younger woman but with the taste of my inner child. I even took a stack of her hot pink and yellow coloured paperbacks - 8 of them in the pile. And this is maybe where it ventures into art. The concept around methodically reading another person's books, void of choice - like a street assigned reading list.

I get a bit excited by limitations.

I get overwhelmed by all the choices at the grocery store or in shops. But, I love the treasures left on the street or in the racks of the charity shop. I love the fated aspect of it. I usually find exactly what I need and when I need it. I needed a boost and I got a second Christmas from her leaving offerings, complete with mustard yellow low top Converse All Stars exactly in my size. She wrote on the toes of both shoes, "life's too short to waste" in black pen. 

I noticed the faded mantra the next day. 

I feel like I have wasted my fair share of life but I also feel we are probably meant to or maybe there is no way to actually waste it. I hope that's the case. However it all works out, I was glad to receive her message.

So I am reading her books and living with her things and wishing her well on her move. 

The second thing I sort of wanted to write about was some local genealogy research I have been doing but I can't write about it poetically. Genealogy is mostly frustrating, with flashes of magic here and there - stories and family ghosts pulling me along into a puzzle of history and dumb luck. An hour becomes a whole day and I can't look away. It all points back to the tip of my new shoes. Am I wasting my life? Surely not.

I like to think the ancient family knows I am looking for them and that they are glad I am here. They are as curious about me as I am of them. 

They whisper, there is art in all of this.

2024: Year in Review

Hello Dear Readers, 

Well, here we are again, my annual year in review post. I am already struggling to sit still and focus (it has taken me 2 days to finally get it done). This is an important post for me to write so I can actually see and feel what I did. As I always say, this post is more for me than for you so if you reach the end, then gold star all the way! I feel like this year's post may be quite a bit shorter than some. My relationship with my art has changed so much post pandemic. Like many of you, I feel like I have been navigating a lot of complex experiences and many of the things that used to push or motivate me ring a bit more hollow or just don't work like they used to. So much in my life has changed in these last few years and the way I navigate it is changing too. So let's begin.

Job: I am the Rep Coordinator & Caseworker for the Scottish Artist Union. I completed the SAU Rep Training Program Obair 1, 2, and 3 in 2022 and 2023, concluding with the Rep Residential in Crail in March of this year. I have been working as a Rep with the Union since June 2023 and in June 2024, I became a member of staff in my current role. 

It's an honour to help our members navigate the challenges that we all face across Scotland's visual and applied arts sector. I feel so fortunate to do work that is important, meaningful, and within my field, as part of a trade union. I also feel lucky to work alongside my union peers in the rep team, staff and learning teams, and our volunteer executive. We are a small team, working part time and mostly remotely while pursuing our own art practices and other projects. If you are a Scottish artist and haven't yet joined the SAU, please consider joining your union and getting involved! We are stronger together!

SAU and Related Learning Programmes/Events Attended: 

Negotiation Training: Francis Shennan and Joshua Becker

Structurally F–cked: Juliet Jacques in conversation with Industria

When what you get is not enough: SAU’s Political Education Pilot Event 

Funding for Artists Open Meeting: Applied Arts Scotland, Engage Scotland, Scottish Artists Union and SCAN

Introduction to The Inklusion Guide: A kickass guide to making literature events accessible to disabled people: Julie Farrell 

Cyber Security Knowledge Refresher: Craig Steele, Digital Skills Education

Improving Effective Voice, Equality, Fair Work and Health and Safety Rep Course with Scottish Hazards & STUC (the first 2 parts of a 4 part course)

Basic Income for the Arts in Ireland: What have we learned after 20 months: UBI LAB & BASIC Income Ireland

SAU EGM

SAU AGM

Associated Union Actions: 

Mass Vigil for Justice for Sheku Bayoh: STUC: Festival Square Edinburgh

Stop the Culture Cuts Demo: Equity: Scottish Parliament. 

Art Work: I created a huge overarching body of 307 pieces of work on paper consisting of multiple series from my home studio space. I just looked through them all after another long period of inactivity. I am gobsmacked. You have only seen a fraction of these small works. As they are mostly on very delicate paper I am not always sure how to present them. I can't wait for you to see some of these pieces. They really seem suited for a book or reproductions. This right here is why I write this blog for me. I have been feeling like I have not really given my painting enough of my time and energy this past year. I stand corrected. I feel these are some of the strongest and most personal works I have created in a long while. They are small and they are on paper and many of them feature drawing, writing, and mark making as much as painting and they were all created in my home. Oh, the brain plays tricks. 

What I haven't been doing is making them all shiny, presentable, and for sale. I haven't been updating my social media accounts regularly with them either. This year has been about making art for art's sake, the way it was intended. I was able to do this by being supported through my work with the union, a few art sales, my ko-fi patrons, and through other means.

Art Sales: I sold 5 originals to 3 patrons (4 originals on paper and 1 large original canvas). Thank you, Malcolm in Scotland and Jeanne and Jennifer in the United States for supporting my work at the start of the year. I appreciate you more than you can know. 

Gallery Representation: For the first time in 20 years, I am not represented by any galleries. I was represented by Solo Gallery in Innerleithen until July of this year but sadly, Kate decided to close up shop. Another loss for the Scottish Art Community, and especially for the Scottish Borders. Best wishes to Kate - a proper gallerist and a joy to work with.

Art Rental: Well, this is some news that I haven't yet shared, so you are hearing it here first and I have buried the lede. One of my large abstract paintings will be appearing in a film! My painting "In the time it takes" will be in California Schemin' - James McAvoy's directorial debut. I am looking forward to seeing the film and we will hopefully be able to catch a glimpse of my painting. Now, I can say my work has been used in television and film!

Art Licensing: I happily accepted a contract with Image Conscious, one of the largest wholesale art suppliers worldwide, they sell exclusively to retailers, art consultants, interior designers, frame and poster shops, speciality shops, and wholesale framers. In business since 1980, their collection is comprised of some of the world’s finest contemporary artists and photographers. You can read all about that here. If you enjoy my Echoes and Memory series, which is still one of my favourites, and you are looking for quality Megan Chapman prints for an office, restaurant, or any interior- then this is a great option. They even offer framing. If you buy the reproductions through Printano - they offer worldwide shipping and you can purchase in your own currency. 

Art Exhibitions: I participated in 1 group exhibition at the Out of the Blue Drill Hall to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the space. I also marked an anniversary this year -  I have now lived in Scotland for 10 years and I have had my studio at the Drill Hall for 10 years too!

Studio: There were no formal open studios this year at the Drill Hall. I found this very unfortunate, as that is one my favourite parts of having a studio. I miss being able to connect with the public. Regular open studios are also one of the most lucrative ways for artists to make money.

Unfortunately the rent was raised for the studio in December. Currently, I am able to keep my studio due to sharing the space with 2 subletters and the fact that I have 5 regular patrons who graciously support me monthly to offset some of these overhead costs. I know many artists across Scotland are facing this same dilemma currently. Do we stay or do we go? You can read a popular post I wrote about this issue, here.

Home Studio: Thanks to my pal and supporter Annie Milovic for helping me walk home an easel from my studio at the Drill Hall, as well as grab another piece of found furniture off the street and into my flat so that I could create a new home studio space this past year! These 307 !?! pieces would not exist without her kind offer of assistance and a friendly nudge back in January. 

Kofi Patrons: Currently, 5 amazing women regularly support my work and help me to offset my art business overheads. Thankfully, each month I am supported by Jennifer Libby Fay, Tamsin Haggis, Jennifer Douglas Arbuckle, and Annie Milovic and posthumously by Pat Bremner. Thank you all so much. Thank you also to my three one-off supporters this year, Ash, Kev, and Paul. Consider becoming a regular supporter or just leave me a tip. It all adds up and really makes a difference! 

Speaking of supporters, my dear friend and great patron, John Kay died earlier this year. I couldn't bring myself to talk or write about it as it seemed so sudden, shocking, and awful at the time, and honestly it still is. John supported my work, my spirit, and was always good for a laugh, musical comradery, and a funny Billy Idol meme. His passing threw me for a loop in the spring that took me awhile to come out of. I will endeavour to stay free, my friend, but it's a bit harder and less fun without you here. Sending love to all his friends and family who may happen across this post - and especially to his dearest daughter, Kirsty. 

Friday Studio Blog: I posted 52 weekly blogs. Thank you for checking in here. At first the posts were mostly selections from my works on paper and then we started to pick up speed towards the end of the year and the words came pouring out. I am proud of some of my writing this past year. 

Tuesday Studio Video Visit: Oops! I recorded none! Do I bring these back in 2025 from my new home studio space? Hmm.

Archive: I did manage to update and add some more pieces to my Archive. I will continue to work on this and let you know when it is in tip top shape. There is just so much work - we can see why...

Artist's work I collected/supported: Jenni Douglas, Fiona Thompson and Chris Donnelly of Cyan Clayworks, Victoria Ross, Ailsa Ferrier of Roadside Picnic, Kenris MacLeod, Crail Pottery, Vanessa Bullick, Adelaide Shalhope Exhibition Catalogue from Iota, Adrian Slatcher & Steven Heaton, Maria Bowler, Paul Furneaux, Louise McLaren, SNACK mag Fundraiser, Neuk Collective Fundraiser, Subatlantic, Interpol and Armistead Maupin (3rd time to see him since moving here). Thank you for all of your work. I love living with and experiencing your creations. 

Travel:

Crail, Fife - SAU Rep Residential (gorgeous and wild - I love Fife)

Innerleithen, Scottish Borders (best vegan haggis pie, among other things)
Glasgow (on 3 separate but equally wonderful occasions. I love you, Glasgow)
USA (Unbelievably warm - a gorgeous autumn - good luck and godspeed- y'all come visit)

Besides working on my art and my union work, I made time to read a few books, watch films, see Interpol (2 years in a row and for the 8th time!), listen to loads of music (on repeat), walk in nature, meditate, study a bit of Japanese, and enjoyed some local culture with my friends. And I finally made it back to Arkansas (as mentioned above) to spend some quality time with my parents and see a few friends for 3 weeks this autumn.

Note to self: Megan, my dear... You are enough. You do enough. You live enough. You create enough. You are good enough. I am also super proud that you took care of your teeth, had your hearing tested, had your eyes checked and got new glasses, and you took part in that fitness study. You faced fears, you learned, you grew, you grieved, you experienced really dark days as well as unabashed joy and wonder. You maintained and fostered relationships. You said no and you advocated for yourself and others. Thanks for being good to yourself.

__________________

As I did last year, I dedicate this post to my dear friends and patrons who are no longer with us. I have been fortunate to have been seen, understood, and supported by some amazing people and that is a gift that sustains me. Thank you. I will keep fighting and I will stay free.

Love always to my family of charcoal dust near and far and thank you to everyone who has supported my work as an artist and as a person. I couldn't do this without you and I wouldn't want to. 

Keep fighting. 

Whether in art or life

Scottish National Portrait Gallery 

So here we are, it's almost the holidays or the festive winter break, Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever else you may celebrate. Perhaps, you enjoy Festivus.

The next two weeks may be quiet and weird with extra heaviness to navigate for some and for some, it will be light, bright, and easy. For many it will be a combination of nostalgia, guilt, religion, and capitalism. I used to like the holidays more - not the shopping part, or the wrapping part, or the logistics in seeing all the people that needed to be seen. I enjoyed the sparkling bits and the magical parts. At some point, things ceased sparkling in the same way and seemed much less magical. And each year since, if I have managed to find the sparkle in some way, it has been a real triumph. And I do manage. I am sitting here in a festive corner of my own design and my sparkly resilience is on full display. I enjoy my rituals and familiar ways of doing things even with certain adjustments.

I used my somewhat dulled creativity to conjure up my festive corner, using mostly what I had on hand to change the look and feel of the space. I enjoy putting things in groups and making it "just so." I probably should have been a set or window dresser or interior decorator. I miss creating spaces and vignettes.

Art is about making things "just so" but in a loose way. So that's what I will endeavour to do, create space and make it just right, whether in art or life. 

I plan to use this time to check in with friends and family, rest, recalibrate, and enjoy the time off from my job. I plan to have a residency of sorts while the world is a bit more quiet and return to my art, which has been a bit sidelined. When I write next week's post (my year end review) you will be curious by what I mean by "sidelined," as it probably won't seem that way to you, but I can be a bit of a task master. 

However you spend your day next Wednesday, I wish you beauty and peace.

Thank you for being here, the world needs you and the gifts you bring. 

Waiting (again)

I am back dating these posts more often than I like and the tuesday studio video visits fell by the wayside long ago. I didn't even try to sell you anything this year. 

I am letting it all slide and fall away as my energy is spent on living and laying down the first two bricks of the foundation in the hierarchy of needs. Again. 

I had a good dream last night, one of the special - true to life, lucid dreams, filled with symbolism and allure. I made a great cup of coffee this morning and I sang a made up song at the kitchen counter while looking up at the skeleton trees. 

Not bad at all. 

I completed some chores and I thought about ancient times. I listened to a familiar voice with his vulnerability vibrating down the line - a character actor singing about nothing. Perfectly. 

I meditated. 

I don't mind waiting.

Screaming from the window

"I am mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore" but what am I supposed to do with this anger?  Should I open the window and scream? Would you like to join me? 

I have so many things I want to say but I don't have the energy to get into it (isn't that what they want). My salty tears and mood are mostly about artists and our continued poor earnings and exploitation and the broken system we are attempting to operate in. My anger is fueled by the myriad of reports (this is the latest) that back that last statement up and the cherry on top is the racist xenophobic radge I sat next to on a recent bus journey.  

I am the master of looking for the positive spin, the humour, and the story of it all but I am really fucking tired of conjuring up this way of coping in order to make other people feel more comfortable or to make my rage more palatable.

So you can see why I am short on words this week. Yelling from the window seems the best option. I will meet you there. 

Buy Nothing Day

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

- Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything

What is old is new again

Archive in Progress

Thank you to everyone who read last week's post, "I'm not the artist I used to be." It seemed to strike a chord with many of you. It was one of my most viewed posts of the year. In fact, since I returned to writing more long form posts starting the second week of October, the readership has increased dramatically. This has of course been very encouraging. Writing this blog each week since 2007 has always been one of the more important and meaningful elements to my art practice. 

I have been feeling a strange sense of excitement like something good is about to happen, a bit like a kid the night before Christmas. This either means I am about to start painting again after a break, the weather is about to change (snow is forecasted), or it could be because I have been taking a deep dive into an older record by Interpol. Most likely, it's a combination. 

Part of me wants to get up and paint something new right now so I have some art to show you here but that is a ridiculous way to work and one of my old ways of operating. I have loads of pieces to show you, and I have older works that you have forgotten or never saw the first time around.

That brings me back to Interpol's 4th album, Interpol.

As I mentioned in my recent post, Our joy is our power, - "...every time I see Interpol their music returns to me shiny and new to be discovered all over again as if for the first time" and that is what has happened. When their 4th album came out in 2010 I didn't connect with it right away. However, I did go to see them on the tour in support of it. There was a lot going on in my life at that moment and the record didn't quite register with me in a meaningful way. It was a fine album, there were a few songs that I really liked, and then I put it away.

Interpol's fourth album is seemingly conceptual taking the listener through the course of a relationship - perhaps as the band was navigating some issues amongst themselves in real time. It was the last album that Carlos Dengler (their amazing bass player) worked on. It was reportedly hard to record. 

I am not a music critic and I don't get a thrill from dissecting an album song by song, and you aren't here for that anyway. However, I can tell you, that the song, Try it on has been on repeat for a week and I get a thrill from it each time. When it's not in my headphones, it's in my mind playing. It's the rhythm, repetition, and phrasing along with all the layers that pull me in. I find the emphatic, pleading delivery, immense. 

"Please explore my love's endurance
And stay, stay
Please endure my love's exhortations
No way, no fucking way, no"

I have been diving into the old beats, floating through the phrases, identifying with the emotions and feeling so lucky that I receive music in such a way that it can completely transcend the less lovely parts of life. And that something old can be new again and give me more joy than I ever imagined. 

And here lies the lesson. I have paintings that you haven't seen. I also have paintings that you have seen but maybe you weren't in the right place to receive them at the time. I have paintings that fit into your life now that perhaps didn't then. 

Artists get sensitive about this. We want to show you the new thing - where our heads are now. What we think is our best work as we keep evolving our craft and expanding our meanings behind it. There is also judgment around older work - it must still be hanging around because no one wanted it and now it has expired, as if art comes with a "use by" date like food. That's ridiculous.

I am listening to a song on an album from 2010 on repeat and it is delivering a fresh punch of joy each time. 2024 happens to be the year I was able to receive and comprehend this gift. 

When I don't share my older work, I am censoring myself and I am limiting your experience of my work. That's madness and that brings me to my archive. 

I have been working on my archive for years because my website is out of date due to space limitations and because of this, it is sadly static. My goal for the archive was to first showcase the last 10 years of my art - the large bodies as well as the smaller bodies of work. This is a huge undertaking and I have been working on it for ages and it is still not done. I haven't shared it because in my mind it is not perfect or complete. I need to get out of this trap and so I have decided to offer it up to you as it stands now.

I hope you will enjoy just some of the work I have created in the past 10 years in Scotland from my archive. There is still so much more to add to it. Currently, you will see untitled work, work with missing information etc. so if you have any questions about anything you see or don't see here don't hesitate to ask or leave me a comment. Eventually, I will share work from the beginning of my career on the archive too.

I just need to make a start, so here goes. Keep fighting, we need you here, perfectly imperfect.

I present to you the ARCHIVE.