All my rituals

Cover of the Cult Deprogramming manual, 1998-1999
 " ...day to day. Each of us should be willing to flow along with the tide and not set up resistance against anything that comes. This is necessary so that growth and redemption can occur."

Where are my rituals? Where is my mind? And what is okay to reflect on when the world is going to hell and everyone is stressed. It all seems so gross. 

Where are the things that I know to do after 53 years on the planet that uniquely ground, calm, inspire and excite me? Not people like me or similar to me, or that share a set of characteristics to me, and especially not the fucking data set and me. 

ME. I remember from my childhood that Mr. Rogers on PBS would tell me that there was no one else like ME. That each human was unique and special, one of a kind. I liked this idea. There was only one me and only one you. Yet, somehow we could create a kind community and work together.

But then we got other messaging as we were growing up, don't let that uniqueness go to your head, don't feel too special. Who do you think you are? Don't be weird. Don't stick out. Be more like them. Wear this, buy that. Eat this, not that. Say this, and for god sake don't say that. 

Like most, I got swept up in it for periods of time, but I could never maintain the facade. I would rebel against this behaviour and then be an exaggerated version of my "true" self. Back and forth it went until I had no idea who I was.

Over the years, I have been perceived as a rebel, a punk, a writer, an actor, an artist. Politically engaged, and a highly sensitive person. Intense, Self absorbed, Sarcastic, A live wire, Emotional, Anxious, and way too much. 

However, I am also perceived as overly responsible, conscientious to a fault, rule abiding (if they make sense), mature for my age and an old soul (as a child) - and yet also naive, gullible, and a people pleaser. Extremely loyal, tenacious, and dedicated. I am an outwardly hard worker (and working even harder behind the scenes). 

If you didn't know this about me, the algorithm does; and feeds me content that maintains my interest and exploits my weakness. 

Let the record state - that while being many of these perceptions and more, I have also been a consistently funny human. I am not sure if the bastards have figured that out yet. 

Inside the manual

The idea was that the imagined cult member would look at the book and the images would reset their memories and they would be restored to the person their family remembered from before the cult. This was when assuming characters and scenarios were an important part of my work.

Now back to me (and you) and the fucking data set. In 1998-99 I made a piece called "the cult deprogramming manual" at the University of Oregon as part of my BFA terminal exhibition and right now I feel I could benefit from gazing into its pages. I think a lot of us could. You can read a bit more about the manual and some of my other earlier work at the U of O in this old blog post from 2008.

I am so tired of being fed information that the algorithm knows I will like or respond to. I am tired of being sold to and manipulated and I am tired of being mined for data. We all are. I am tired of wondering if an app could help me feel better. I am pretty media savvy and I remember existing long before the internet - but the bastards got me anyway - you can't will power your way out of something so expertly designed and crafted to influence and addict. 

Obviously over the years the internet has been weaponised against us and our poor brains. We have unwittingly found ourselves in a cult. And now I know it's more important than ever to spend time in my studio and turn my back on so much bullshit. 

How are you taking back control or managing your exposure to all of this relentless messaging? How are you still staying engaged with your community (online and offline) while setting limits? How are you staying aware of the problems of the world and taking action without it feeling performative and hollow or without becoming overwhelmed? Have you read or listened to a book on the subject that has impacted you and made a difference in how you are navigating all of this? I'd love to hear about it. 

Until next week, I will be over here clawing back my rituals. 

And remember, that there truly is no one like you and I like you just as you are. Keep Fighting! X.

This gift remains

Little Edie Flag Dance, Grey Gardens, Maysles Brothers' Film 1976

It's the 4th of July and while not patriotic, it is still an atmosphere that I can easily recall: a hot, sticky, Arkansas summer. Picnic tables at the park, Mom's amazing BBQ baked beans, hot dogs, and watching the country club's fireworks from a distance at the picnic table on the side of Mt. Sequoyah, and then later the fireworks at the Northwest Arkansas Mall. Bottle Rockets (and getting hit in the neck with a bottle rocket - thanks, Sean). The smell of burning snakes (not real snakes) as they undulated on the pavement. A feeling of a bit more freedom and extra wildness, walking the hot streets in the neighborhood to the pool with my friend, Annie. Vivid summer memories of childhood. 

But today, my brain has other plans—today it feels like the hashbrowns at the Waffle House (another American institution). Today, I am scattered, smothered, and covered... if you know, you know. This 4th of July I am anxious, angry, and fretful.

Today, the sky is grey and featureless as little Edie from Grey Gardens does her perpetual flag dance, frozen in time on my computer screen. Rain starts to fall on the pane of the tilted open window and I am a bit cold and far from home and the people I love. 

The US government did a bad, bad thing yesterday, and it all feels a bit much. I soothe myself by looking at and crying over Bruegel paintings. Yes, really. It's all right there. The paintings of Bruegel and Bosch were my version of Where's Waldo. Certain paintings become touchstones for grounding. These paintings serve as kinship and provide strength and a knowing. Like holding up a mirror passed through the family for decades—all your people have gazed in the same glass, and they are still there with you now.

The Triumph of Death, oil on panel c. 1562
117 cm × 162 cm (46 in × 63.8 in) Pieter Bruegel the Elder
Museo del Prado, Madrid

In these hard and strange times, I am so grateful to have this type of relationship with art. To be able to slow down and just go into a painting, to know a painting, to feel the support of a painting, to marvel and dream over a painting. To feel seen and known by a painting and to know it in return. It's a rare gift that I credit my parents for making  available to me through the prints on the walls and the books on the shelves in our little home in Arkansas.

No matter where I am or what happens, this gift remains. 

I will follow

 

In the shallows

In the shallows

Mixed media on canvas

80x80cm © 2018 Megan Chapman

Sold

Darkness comes in stages

Mixed media on canvas

30x122cm © 2016 Megan Chapman

Sold

I had the most delightful week of meetups, conversations, connections, sales and so much more... I am so pleased that the two pieces above found their homes this week. This always brings me such joy. You can hear me talk about the process and feelings in my Tuesday Studio Video Visit, below. Thank you for your likes, subscribes, shares, and comments and thank you for sharing in my joy and for supporting my work. It means the world to me.

And while I had a good week, I know many in the world did not. I am thinking of the people of Ukraine. 

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings rejoice in the wellbeing of others.
May all beings live in peace, free from greed and hatred.

Thank you.

Abstractionistas Exhibition at Detour Espresso!

The Abstractionistas present, ‘Awakenings’ to be held at Detour Espresso at their Marchmont location during the months of February and March at 39 Argyle Place, EH9 1JT, Edinburgh. 

Enjoy your coffee alongside some fresh, hot, abstract art by artists Megan Chapman, Judith Shaylor and Susan Elizabeth Wilson. All our work will be available to purchase and collect by contacting us directly throughout the 2-month exhibition. 

We are looking forward to having our paintings out in the world again and in such a beautiful and relaxed setting as Detour Espresso. 

It will be great to be showing alongside my peers again! We hope you can pop by and enjoy our work while you are out and about in Edinburgh over the next two months. 

I plan to show the following pieces depending on space. Message me with any inquiries and as always, I am open to instalment plans. 

Hiding in plain sight
Mixed Media on Canvas
41x51x4 cm (16x20x1.5")
£325.00
To purchase email: megancha@gmail.com

Out of my mouth come flowers, come barbs
Mixed Media on Canvas
41x51x4 cm (16x20x1.5")
£325.00
To purchase email: megancha@gmail.com

Time spent as someone else
Mixed Media on Canvas
41x51x4cm (16x20x1.5")
£325.00
To purchase email: megancha@gmail.com

Stolen moments
Mixed Media on Canvas
41x51x4cm (16x20x1.5")
£325.00
To purchase email: megancha@gmail.com

To hide the best parts
Mixed Media on Canvas
40x40x4cm (15.5x15.5x1.5")
 £275.00
To purchase email: megancha@gmail.com

I hope everyone is as well as can be and starting to dream and think about the spring. I saw some snowdrops today on my walk and have enjoyed a few sunny days with the birds as they sing their spring songs. I am looking forward to everything bursting open again soon. I must be patient. 

Oh, and if you missed this week's Tuesday Studio Video Visit you can see it here. It's a quick musical exploration of ten small works. Enjoy. 

Thank you for joining me this week and for your continued support.

Until next week, keep fighting!

Thanks and more...

WANTED: 

ART COLLECTOR (Click to shop)

Perhaps you can imagine one or all three of these pieces adding that extra something to your home or office or the home or office of someone you know. They are professionally framed in white and are sure to please. Each painting is £325 and can be found in my Ko-Fi Shop. Think of my Ko-Fi shop like some of you used to think of my Etsy shop back in the day. Easy to use and safe - a platform that helps artists make a living from their work. It's a win-win! I will donate 10% of the sale from these paintings to Bicycles for Refugees until the start of January.

Thank you to everyone who supported my show and sale last weekend online. I was able to donate £50 - and while I wish it could have been more, this amount helps a New Scots child get a bike! With some leftover for another child to almost get a bike as well - or enough for one adult. 

Any way you slice it, it's a good thing and we made some progress for a good cause together. Thank you! 

Our Minimalist Secrets: Exhibition and Gallery News!

This week I turned my attention in the studio back to the book series. I am excited to be part of Art Walk Porty - The Artist's Book Market, next month at the Dalriada located right on the Portobello Promenade across from the sea in Edinburgh. Saturday the 7th and Sunday the 8th of September from 11am-4pm. Click the link to read more about the participants and mark your calendars and make plans to attend. I would love to see you there. Learn more here (it's a gorgeous website so do click on that link).

I love the freedom that working in the books allows. As this is not my primary format, I feel like I can do anything and take even more risks and chances. The yellowed and torn books and scrolls can become sculptural and raw to hold our minimalist secrets.

In other exciting exhibition news, I just sent two paintings to the inaugural exhibition at a new gallery in Glasgow! John Doyle Art located at 23 Parnie Street aims to bring a new and eclectic collection of formidable artists together under one roof. I am honoured to be part of the mix. There will be an opening reception next Friday, the 23rd of August from 6-9pm. 

These are the two paintings you can enjoy and purchase there.

A delicate balance
76.2x76.2x4cm/30x30x1.5"
Acrylic, charcoal on canvas
© 2015 Megan Chapman
£1,350
Currently available through Doyle Art in Glasgow.
Contact the gallery to purchase.

Remember this place
76.2x76.2x4cm/30x30x1.5"
Acrylic, charcoal on canvas
© 2015 Megan Chapman
£1,350
Currently available through Doyle Art in Glasgow.
Contact the gallery to purchase.

As some of you may recall these two pieces were published in a wonderful article by the arts editor of SOGO Magazine at the time, fellow artist and now friend, Brian McFie. You can read the article here if you missed it the first time around. Brian will also be showing his work with Doyle Art. Again, I am delighted to be showing in a gallery in Glasgow. This is another first for me!

Thanks to everyone who reads my blog, follows and supports my work on the various forms of social media, and has supported my work in all the various brick and mortar galleries along the way. Thank you! 

Evidence of the Disappearance: TONIGHT!

Dear Readers, Family, and Friends-
Thank you for everything.

Love,

Megan

Evidence of the Disappearance
New paintings by Megan Chapman
Blue Moon Gallery
718 Central Ave.
Hot Springs, Arkansas
June-July 2008
Opening tonight!
June 6th 5-9pm

www.meganchapman.com
www.bluemoonartgallery.com

Tell it like it is- I can take it...

Part 1: Thanks: and the hanging of a new shingle

Thank you to everyone who viewed "Gathering the Evidence" as I write this my little film has been viewed 262 times, and that is pretty sweet. The feedback I received was very helpful and inspiring.Thank you to new friend and talented photographer Craig Nelson who also viewed the video and was moved enough to want to come over and see the paintings in person.We had a wonderful visit, and he took a lovely photograph of my studio. I love making these connections, and creating this community. Craig and I share many of the same ideas about sharing information as artists, so be sure to check out his blog- Shutter to Think, and his wonderful photographs. I was thrilled to find myself featured in his blog as well. Speaking of being featured in blogs, it was a two blog week for me, as I also found myself mentioned and some of my work featured in artist Stephanie Mallicotte's blog. Check it out. It is always exciting to be thought of and included in people's blogs. Thanks for the publicity and support!

I want to mention a brand new service I am offering. I am now available for online portfolio review/consultation. I get approached quite often on MySpace for this kind of service. Send me an email or message with a link to your painting portfolio or questions about your art, and for a $25.00 suggested donation sent to my paypal button here on my blog, I will spend an hour poring over your work( up to 20 pieces) and then give you a list of positives, cautions, and then specifics about each piece. I am very detailed and efficient at this, and I promise as an artist myself, I will be encouraging but you will also get some honest feedback. Once I email the review to you, if you have a few short follow up questions in regards to things I mentioned that is also included in the $25.00 donation. I also encourage folks to read back through my blog, as there is a lot of free helpful information available, you just have to dig for it a bit.

Part 2- Studio News: The Evidence

The work in the studio is going well. I have been hard at work on 2 24x30's and 2 30x24's this week. Moving on to the larger works for the exhibition, things will start to slow down now. Some titles have emerged such as Chatter on the Lines, Caught Between the Disconnect, We talked like Dancing Feet and These are not my Secrets. I hope to create another short film as the work for the Evidence of the Disappearance continues. If you are in Arkansas or close by save the date and come to the Blue Moon Gallery in Hot Springs for the opening reception on Friday, June 6 from 5-9pm

Part 3- What you came here for: A good story

The following quote was written in a moment of clarity 1/4/06 ( yep- we are briefly going back in time again)

"I am a painter. So deeply I am a painter. It makes me want to cry. How can I forget so easily? How can I let myself go without working? Not much brings me more pleasure or happiness. It is earned as this is not easy, no matter how many times I pretend or let myself think it is."

Occasionally, I have to remind myself. I needed to write this down a little over two years ago, and in the future I will write it down again, and it will be like a brand new discovery. I am a painter, yet I know I will forget. Do you forget sometimes? Do you push it aside, burying it under practicalities and the time frames of your life? Do you get discouraged and veer off course?

Some perspective for us both; my first solo show was in a popular local hippie "health food" restaurant in Eugene Oregon, in 1997 just a bit over 10 years ago. I want to share my statement from that show. ( Click on the picture to make it bigger) At the time, as you can see I was just going for my BA at the University. I remember the BFA seemed out of my league at the time. I am so glad I changed my tune, as once in the program I soon learned the F stood for FUN, and I experienced a new side of the art department, and explored all aspects of my creativity. If you read my statement, my main goals were to simply finish school, show and sell my art and move back home to open a "junk store"( it was to be called Finders Keepers- and sadly that hasn't happened, yet...) Looking at this statement, I can't believe I would show a body of work without any titles, as titles are so important to me now. I was so jazzed about this series of work ( my heart pod series) It was in creating this body of work that I became an oil painter and learned a lot about color and texture.

I tied a small spiral notebook to a hook in the wood paneled wall of the restaurant to gather comments about my work. In the front of the book I wrote among other things..."Tell it like it is, I can take it"

So, they told me... You can read a few of the comments for yourself.There were a few positive ones, if you count " Jesus loves you- Megan, " and "Demon painting is the best- I love it" Needless to say I did not sell a single painting from this series of self proclaimed masterpieces, during this show or ever.

My first solo show would basically be considered by many a flop. For me it was the experience that mattered- or at least that is what I told myself.

The show ended and I collected my work and my sad little comment book of scribbles, from the restaurant.I guess you could say, I had some things to consider.

I could've become sad and apparently even more depressed and quit right there.

I could've decided to fulfill the basic requirements for my degree, considered myself a hack and gotten the hell out of there.

Or, I could laugh at it all, chalk it up to experience, resume building and keep looking for other opportunities to show. I am sure you know what I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be writing you this blog, preparing for a show, have gallery representation, not to mention collectors across the country.

Time line (a little more perspective)

• 1995 first group show
• 1997 first solo show in restaurant
• 1999 BFA awarded: terminal books project
• 2002 received cash prize at juried art show
• 2003 first major sale
• 2004 first gallery representation
• check my resume at www.meganchapman.com for what happens next...
  

This is not an easy career path- especially when many artists have other jobs, families, and real world responsibilities but if you know that somewhere inside you, your art brings something to your life that nothing else quite does, then I encourage you to stick with it no matter what. Keep building your resume, keep putting yourself out there, keep working on your art, and then don't forget to look back and remind yourself how far you've come.

Remember, "I am a painter. So deeply I am a painter. It makes me want to cry. How can I forget so easily? How can I let myself go without working? Not much brings me more pleasure or happiness. It is earned as this is not easy, no matter how many times I pretend or let myself think it is."

Onward and upward and good luck!